What should I do if someone in their twenties is afraid to communicate with others?

Hello, question asker. I can see you're feeling confused right now, and I'm here to give you a big hug!

It's okay, sweetheart. You're going through some tough times right now. Let me give you a big hug.

You said that you've been afraid of speaking to others and have had these interpersonal fears since childhood.

I'm sure you remember what happened back then.

For example, when you talk to other people, they may make fun of you?

And then, you feel like no one will like you.

It's totally possible that you had some bad experiences when you were younger that have left you with some scars.

So, what can you do now to help yourself?

It would be really helpful for you to speak to a professional counselor about those bad experiences you had in interpersonal interactions when you were a child.

It's totally normal to still feel stuck in those bad experiences from childhood, like your inner child is still there.

If you think it would help, I really encourage you to take one of Mr. Shi Qijia's courses on "healing the inner child."

A counselor is great because they can take a third-party perspective, be objective and non-judgmental, and give you more pertinent, useful, and constructive advice.

I really hope the problem you're having gets sorted out soon.

I'm so sorry to say that that's all I can think of right now.

I really hope my answer helps and inspires you! I'm the respondent, and I study hard every day.

Here at Yixinli, we love you and the world loves you too! Wishing you all the best!

I'm grateful for the opportunity to answer your question.

From the text, it seems that the questioner may have some reservations about communicating with others, not because they are unable to do so, but perhaps because they feel they could improve their communication skills. Despite this, there is evidence that the questioner is quite sociable.

For example, he was an active participant in various university activities, including joining the student union. He was also able to give public speeches, serve as an emcee, sing, and dance.

I must admit that I am often hesitant to speak up, as I am afraid of being ignored or even hated if I say something that is not well-received. Even when I am genuinely interested in sharing my thoughts, I tend to hold back if I feel uncomfortable or out of place. While I am fine in smaller groups, I often feel overwhelmed and under-valued in larger gatherings.

It seems that the questioner's participation in various university activities may intensify their concerns, as there are more individuals to interact with and the potential for missteps due to nervousness is heightened. It's understandable that it's challenging to satisfy everyone's expectations, and there may be an increased risk of being perceived as bothersome.

The questioner proceeded to do so, prompting the question of how they managed to make themselves do it.

I often feel that others may not like me. I tend to be quite sensitive. When someone says something, I sometimes feel that it's directed at me. When someone is angry or upset, I sometimes feel that part of the reason they are upset may be because of me.

Could I respectfully propose that the questioner may benefit from some insight into why they always feel this way? Is it because they are "too good," or is it because they are "too bad?"

In the presence of unfamiliar individuals, the questioner tends to exhibit a range of concerns and apprehensions. These may be indicative of a desire to establish closeness with others, but they could also stem from a fear of rejection. It's possible that in the context of unfamiliarity, others perceive more of the questioner's positive attributes, which the questioner may find encouraging.

To maintain this positive image, it is important to be mindful of the words and actions we choose to convey.

The questioner might consider asking someone directly if they like them and whether what they said was meant sincerely.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider whether I have done something to make you angry, sad, or unhappy. This may provide insight that is more accurate than what the questioner "thinks."

Even if it is really as the questioner thinks, it would be helpful to consider what can be done.

I hope my reply will be of some help to you. I'm sincerely convinced, and I wish you the best.

Hello!

From your question, I can see that you are unhappy with your social life and that you have tried to improve it without success. I understand how you feel.

You're less scared of me now. You can see yourself when speaking in public and hosting. You've grown a bit. But you still have a strong fear of relationships. I think the reason you can't get rid of it is:

[1] Not learning to separate problems

The problem is that I am myself and I can accept myself no matter what. What others think or what impression they have of me is their business. I can also see that you are afraid that other people will hate you. But think about it, what does other people have to do with you? Everyone's life is independent.

[2] Not knowing the difference between other people's emotions and your own.

You said others think they're targeting you, but that's just your perception. If someone's unhappy, it's not because of you. If they have negative emotions, it's not because of other people. There are plenty of such people, with negative emotions not brought on by the outside world. We don't have to attribute these emotions to ourselves. Everyone's emotions have nothing to do with us. We just need to take care of ourselves and live our own lives. Being happy is the most important thing.

If you can't regulate yourself, you can also consult a counselor. In relationships, don't care too much about what others think. Everyone is unrelated to us. Everyone we meet is just a passer-by.

I hope this helps.

Hello!

I'm Kelly.

Let's explore your confusion together.

What should someone who is 20 do if they are afraid to communicate?

This is not a problem. We can learn to be brave enough to communicate with others. Being too shy to talk to others is a common problem for many people in this era, because parents are busy and if there are no siblings at home, they speak less.

Another possibility is that parents don't like to talk.

The questioner's strengths:

The questioner loves to learn. They can give public speeches, which is harder than speaking.

You have also been a host, which requires practice and quick thinking. The questioner is a person who takes on challenges.

The questioner is worried about:

1: Communication with others

Not being able to talk to people is not a problem. The questioner should focus on learning, developing themselves, and understanding themselves and exercising. This is important for our lives and personalities.

These abilities help us find our strengths and become more confident.

A person who can talk to others quickly and is sociable may not be able to do what the OP can do.

The questioner is just confused, so don't worry. We can learn some social skills.

1: Unproductive socializing wastes time and affects our soul.

People are social animals. We want to socialize.

Meaningful socializing improves cognitive level. Meaningless socializing only enhances bright spots.

The questioner is interesting, talented, and if you don't have time to do what you want because you're socializing too much.

You attract people who are like you.

2: You can choose to be happy.

You can discover others' strengths and encourage and affirm them.

Be sincere and exchange opinions honestly.

You can choose to be with positive people.

If we spend time with positive people, good friends will influence each other and grow together. It will also be easier to let go of yourself, allowing you to get rid of "shyness" and sensitivity more quickly and easily.

3: People are complex.

Universities can also help you meet new people.

You'll meet people who love to read in the library and classmates who love to sing. You can ask for advice. When people help you, you can let them know your value.

We can thank others for not helping. It's their choice.

Try more in college. It's like society. Classmates are simple. Don't be afraid. Don't be afraid to do anything. It will only make you more shy.

Growing up is about enjoying life.

If we go to a new place and do unfamiliar things after we graduate, we won't feel comfortable.

Use your time at university to train your mind.

It's okay. You're improving and accepting challenges.

Feel this feeling and experience the bittersweet.

4: Let yourself shine and accept the ordinary.

Don't limit yourself.

If there are self-centered people in life, they will also prevent others from entering their world. Don't label yourself either. Youth is the time when a person grows up the fastest.

In school, we don't get enough praise. Many people are good, but they still have low self-esteem and lack confidence. We need to be aware of ourselves, avoid comparing ourselves to others, and pay attention to our inner selves.

Don't get happy about things that don't last, or feel bad about yourself when you make mistakes.

A confident person pays more attention to how they interact with others.

People who are shy or have low self-esteem worry about how they will behave. Don't take yourself too seriously. Learn to be cheeky, ask for and give encouragement.

Say hello to your classmates.

You'll forget your sensitivity and get a good frame of mind.

[Regarding the original poster's concern for others and sensitivity]

If someone is angry, it's their problem. If you think you've made someone angry, you can ask if you've hurt them.

If it's not your problem, say you're sorry if you think you've made her angry.

Say thank you, sorry, and please.

People like polite and cultured people.

It doesn't matter if people like you.

Do you like yourself? If so, write down why and what you're good at.

What can you improve?

Knowing yourself is the first step to growth. The questioner's sensitivity is not bad. It's a good way to understand yourself.

3: The teacher recommends a few books: "Low Self-Esteem and Transcendence," "High Sensitivity is a Gift," "Insensitivity," etc.

Read more.

Reading can help you learn, understand life better, and avoid fixed thinking.

Reading more can make us more confident.

Overcoming sensitivity takes time. Be confident and open-minded to improve your life.

Be proud of yourself every day.

Good luck!

I love you, world.