When I was young, it was okay, but recently, my thoughts have become a bit scary, and I feel a bit of pain in my heart?

Hello, question asker! I'm Enoch, the answerer.

From what the questioner said, it seems that during the lockdown, she probably spent more time with her family. Her father liked and treated her well, but her grandmother and mother liked her sister better. She felt hurt by her family, so she may have also been bored at home with plenty of time on her hands. She didn't arrange more study or other things for herself, so her mind occasionally wandered. She thought about some bad experiences with other students, which caused some bad emotions.

First, it's important to understand that everyone has their own outlook on life, values, and world view. Even within their own family, not everyone will like them very much, and it's even less likely that friends will all like each other. Because people have different outlooks on life, some people may get along better, but some may not be from the same world.

So, it's important to be able to accept people in your personal and professional relationships who don't like you. This is a very normal thing, and you also have the right not to like others.

If you can accept that other people might not like you, it'll be easier not to get upset about it. You'll be able to be more open about who you are and not worry about what other people think.

It's important to remember that nobody's perfect. Be brave and accept your own imperfections.

This is the only way to achieve better mental health.

Hello, questioner! I'm Shushan Wenquan. Let's learn to be our own spiritual gardeners, watching over the spring blossoms and autumn fruits.

Reading your message, I get the sense that you're going through a lot. You're an adult now, getting up early and about to move from home to society. I can very much understand this transitional state you're in. Personally, I think that the difficulties you're encountering now mean that you're facing new growth tasks. Let me try to analyze them with you:

1. Start exploring yourself and your personality.

You say you have a sensitive personality and a repetitive thinking pattern, which causes you a lot of worry and unnecessary trouble. It's important to remember that everyone is different. Some people are more open-minded, while others are more sensitive.

These personality traits are more innate, so there's no clear distinction between good and bad. That means there's no need to use other people's standards to judge yourself.

I'm also highly sensitive, and I used to have a lot of random thoughts and ideas that kept repeating themselves. It was really distressing at the time, but I later learned that it's just a normal part of my personality. We all have our own strengths and limitations.

But you can accept it without worrying about what others think. I suggest reading the book High Sensitivity is a Gift, which offers tips on how to get to know yourself, accept yourself, and feel more comfortable.

The thought of "Why am I living in this world?" is nothing to be afraid of. It's the start of your journey to find out what life is all about. As you're about to start university, in addition to the subjects the school offers, I hope you can take this self-knowledge course for yourself, which requires continuous practice.

This course will help you find the answers to the question "Why live in the world?" and give you a lot of benefits.

2. Learn to live in harmony with your own thoughts.

Our thoughts often come out without us realizing it and affect our emotions and behaviors. Psychologists call the combination of thoughts, emotions, and behaviors the "cognition triangle."

They're all connected, and they influence each other, often forming a cycle or a downward spiral. We often fall into this spiral of behavior patterns influenced by unknowing thoughts without realizing it.

So, it's important to learn to live in harmony with the core of your own thoughts. There's a wall between "I'm annoyed" and "I can be happy," and the thinking tool that helps us tear down this wall is the six-character mantra "thoughts are just thoughts."

Yes, it really is that simple. I know it might be hard to understand at the moment.

You can work on maintaining a distance between yourself and your thoughts.

Many of our thoughts are automatic and habitual, like the clouds in the ever-changing sky. We are the sky behind the clouds. Don't let the ever-changing clouds affect the vastness and loftiness of the sky. Instead, accept their existence and allow them to change.

3. Try to approach relationships with a positive attitude.

From what you've told us, it's clear that you have a grandmother, a mother, a sister, a father, classmates, etc. You seem to value relationships and emotional connections, which is great because people need relationships to understand themselves, develop themselves, and grow themselves.

But you said, "It was better when I was a child," which shows that you may feel a little disappointed or at a loss about how to handle your current relationships. This is something we can all learn from.

You're about to enter university, and things are going to be different. No one will actively and unconditionally love and care for you, even though you're already used to this interpersonal model. When you enter school and society, imagine that everyone is just like you, coming from a family and waiting for others to care for them. What will happen then?

So, it's important to learn how to care about others, put yourself in their shoes, and tackle problems head-on if you want to fit in.

You're great at finding solutions, which is why you're sharing your thoughts with us today. I'm sure you'll keep learning and doing great things!

Wishing you the best!