Whenever my mother criticizes me, I feel like dying. How can I relieve this kind of emotion?

I'm going to throw one more possibility out there, just to see if it sparks something in the OP.

I don't know if the original poster has heard of the "kick-the-cat effect," which is a fascinating phenomenon. When a person's emotions turn negative, their subconscious mind will drive them to choose subordinates or weak people who cannot fight back to vent their anger. People who are emotionally attacked by stronger people will in turn look for their own punching bag, which is an intriguing dynamic.

This will form a clear chain of anger transmission, and the ultimate bearer, the cat, is the weakest group and also the group that suffers the most. But there's hope!

From the last sentence of the questioner, "But she is pleasant and smiling to people other than family members," I think it is not that other people do not owe her anything. It is very likely that the questioner's mother has to "please" others outside, and she may even be "subjected to abuse." However, she is powerless to resist outside, and can only vent her negative emotions on her family members, especially the questioner, who is weaker than her. This is an amazing opportunity for the questioner to step up and take control of their own emotions! They can choose to focus on the positive and be grateful for the love and support of their family, rather than dwelling on the negativity.

The questioner is 18 years old, which is a critical period for establishing self-awareness. Or, they should have basically established self-awareness and self-positioning, so they are increasingly unable to accept their mother's scolding, oppression, and misunderstandings. The questioner has been severely depressed before, and it is really very painful if they cannot get out of these negative emotions. But there is hope! The questioner can learn to recognize and accept their emotions, and they can learn to separate their emotions from their mother's emotions. This will help them to feel better and to have a more positive relationship with their mother.

I highly recommend that you study the concept of "issue separation." This is a powerful tool that helps you distinguish between the mother's emotions, the questioner's emotions, and the mother-questioner relationship. It's a simple yet effective way to understand that everyone is responsible for their own issues and that there's no need to get caught up in other people's issues. You can embrace your own issues and let go of the need to interfere in others'.

When mom vents, the questioner can tell themselves: she has a lot of negative emotions, but she doesn't deal with them herself, using the questioner as an outlet; the things she says about the questioner that are not good are not facts, but her own opinions; the questioner can listen to what she says, but can't be influenced by these words, because they are not facts; the questioner is responsible for their own emotions, and should abandon those incorrect and non-objective evaluations of themselves, and have their own more appropriate evaluations. This is an amazing opportunity for the questioner to take control of their life!

I am so excited to see how changing her view of "mum venting negative emotions on herself" will lead to a more positive and proactive view of herself! She'll be able to focus on her inner self, her studies, her emotions, and other important things.

It's time to start learning to care for yourself and take responsibility for your emotions! The stronger your inner strength, the less you will be affected by the negative influence of others. The clearer your future direction, the more you can let go of the unimportant and negative influences, and the stronger your inner resolve will become!

Hello, July!

I understand your question better now. I'm here for you.

You've been holding on to these emotions for too long. Instead of releasing them, you've let them build up inside you. This makes it easy to become aggressive, either inwardly or outwardly. I want to give you a warm hug.

You value your mother's opinions and want to make up for them. You want to prove yourself because you think she's wrong. But to her, you're rebelling because you're questioning her approach.

Resisting makes things worse. You suppress your anger because it hurts less that way.

I have also summarized some methods to help you alleviate the current situation.

(1) Don't worry about what others think. Think about yourself.

Accept your emotions, don't resist them. Find out why you feel this way.

(3) When you're in a bad mood, release your emotions through chatting, music, or exercise.

(4) Know your limits. Know what's your mom's business and what's yours. Stick to your own business.

(5) Distract yourself with something you like or leave unhappy situations.

I love you!

Take care.

Hello. I can relate to your situation. It must be challenging to live in an environment where your mother has a short temper. It's admirable that she treats other people kindly, but it's also important to consider your own needs.

It is certainly a blessing for children to have parents who are in good spirits. However, it is unfortunate that not all parents are able to face their children with patience.

Perhaps it would be helpful to take a moment to reflect on what happened.

You mention that you and your mother have historically faced communication challenges. While she is kind to others, you feel she is often dissatisfied with you. Attempting to explain yourself only seems to intensify her frustration. It would be greatly appreciated if your mother could listen to your heart and understand you in a calm and compassionate manner.

It seems as though your mother may have some difficulties in managing her emotions, communicating effectively, being tolerant of you, and being more demanding. You can discuss what was said by both of you.

However, you may find that you habitually suppress your anger when faced with your mother's bad temper, which could result in the anger building up inside you and making it difficult to let it out. You may also find that you can't stand her attitude. Every time you put up with it, you may feel that you're hurting yourself and attacking yourself, which could be a factor in your depression.

How might we improve this situation?

1. It might be helpful to try dealing with emotions before problems.

From your perspective, you are already 18 years old. Have you considered maintaining a certain distance from your mother? It might be helpful to move yourself away from the painful environment for a while to give yourself some time to heal your wounded heart.

When you love yourself well and allow yourself to be less affected by your mother's bad temper, your suffering will slowly ease, and you will have the strength to face your mother's nagging. It may also help to create some distance between you and your mother, as this can improve your relationship. If you feel this is something you would like to work on, you could consider speaking with a psychologist.

From the perspective of parents, it is natural for parents to have affection for their children. However, some parents may find it challenging to connect with their children in the way they would like. Many parents are not always open to hearing their children's perspectives, may not always appreciate their children's input, and may not readily acknowledge their own shortcomings.

It would be helpful to understand her perspective. Is she intentionally making things challenging for you? If only you could gain insight into her thoughts.

It might be helpful to consider that you may gradually let go of the hurt your mother has caused you.

If I might suggest, it would be beneficial to address the hurt, calm your emotions, and then resolve your relationship with your mother.

2. It would be beneficial for you to take care of yourself in order to avoid depression.

You have mentioned that you are currently experiencing depression, which you describe as quite serious. You have also mentioned that you feel better when you take medication. It seems that you tend to feel depressed again when your mother loses her temper.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider whether your mother is aware of your depression and the potential role she may be playing in its development.

Have you considered modifying your attitude? Depression can be affected by one's environment and tends to fluctuate.

Perhaps it would be helpful for you to learn how to protect yourself from feeling depressed all the time. As an adult, it's important to learn how to take care of yourself and improve your overall well-being.

3. It would be beneficial to work on improving communication and changing family relationships.

If you are happy and healthy inside, you may find it easier to face your mother calmly, which could help you to adjust your relationship with her. You can learn how to communicate with your parents. It may be helpful to consider that the premise of communication is knowing yourself and your parents, and that choosing the right way to communicate could enhance your relationship with each other.

You might find it helpful to read the following books: "Secrets of Getting Along with Family Members," "What Have You Been Through," "Teen Depression," and "Is It All My Fault?"

I hope this is helpful. I believe that changing requires direction, courage, and time. Best wishes,

Hello!

When you feel like you're at your wit's end, it can feel like a raging storm, with waves of the past crashing over you. You want to ride out the storm and reach the other side, where the sun shines again. Find a haven of love: a place of birdsong and flowers, of autonomy and a sense of being respected, of someone who listens to you attentively and accompanies you with inner peace and vitality.

Give your inner 18-year-old a friendly hello.

When I was a kid, I loved my mom.

But why does my mother handle parent-child relationships like this? It's a question of why, after another why...

A child's love for their mother goes beyond the traditional idea of filial piety.

But the part of me that turned its back didn't want to be scolded and asked to do things it didn't like. When I turned around, I was already in tears.

Anger can make you feel better in the moment, but it can also make things worse in the long run.

I want to go to my mother, but I feel like I'm being forced to suppress my feelings in her emotionally unstable state.

The idea of being sensible and obedient is something that's passed on from generation to generation, but it's often confined to the family. But what is true morality?

Are there any chances that their understanding and implementation might differ?

Your life is your own, and you get to decide what you want to do with it. The first step is understanding the world and the universe.

"The way of the university is to manifest bright virtue." It's not preaching.

As a person and as a Chinese person, we'll find the root of the spiritual pulse ourselves. (You should really read it.)

Filial piety is a pretty common moral evaluation.

Filial piety is a spiritual light that doesn't follow the crowd. I forged my own path and showed my mother with my actions that I'd made it!

When I was repeatedly rejected, asked to give in, and made to sacrifice myself, I protected my spiritual world and kept moving towards success. Even when I felt lost, disappointed, criticized, and misunderstood by others.

I've become more honest, courageous, and mature. The biggest difference is that I'm not like my mother anymore.

You brought up the word "owe," and you feel like you hear it a lot in life, and there might be times when you're blamed for it.

You feel like you can't argue, but you're helpless and traumatized. You call out to the people around you to listen to you, to understand the tenderness of your heart and your language system, but you don't get the comfort you want.

When you realize what you owe, you might be seen as blaming your mother. You hope she'll face her role as a parent and provide sobriety and stability.

You'll be disappointed time and again, but you'll keep observing the world with awe and courage.

It's because you love her that you feel this uncompensated pain.

Life is like a journey, and at each stop you'll meet different people. You'll learn from them and gradually become more independent.

How long does it take to become independent? It could take longer than you think, or it might happen sooner.

This is just about being comfortable with whatever comes your way.

I can't guarantee you won't face challenges or major emotional ups and downs in your relationships. But the peace within us will guide us to believe: I can succeed!

I can't guarantee you won't face challenges or major emotional ups and downs in your relationships. But the positive energy within you will guide you to believe: I can succeed!

I can create happiness!

Hello. I read your question and it bothered me, so I answered right away.

A mother who beats or scolds her children for not doing as they're told and doesn't allow them to explain or cry is a bad mother.

If you don't express your emotions, you'll just suppress them. This can cause depression.

You're 18 and on meds, but your mom still treats you like crap.

It's sad when kids have to deal with their parents' bad feelings, even if they can't understand why.

If your mother attacks you again, you can leave.

Words can hurt. When you're in a bad situation, you can leave for a while. Give both sides some space.

Wait until you and your mother are calmer, then talk. This will help avoid conflict.

Say "no" firmly.

You are 18 and can face your mother like an adult. You have the right to tell her how you feel. You don't have to let her abuse you. This is your boundary, even if she is your mother.

Don't suppress your emotions or attack yourself. Learn to express your opinions, views, and feelings to your mother. This is good for your health. I'm sure you will find a way to talk to your mother.

Find someone to talk to about your bad emotions.

If you keep negative emotions inside, they will find a way out. This can cause problems and harm your health.

It's important to release negative emotions, not suppress them.

Find friends, chat with them, and talk about your feelings. You can also see a counselor or therapist.

You've got this.