Who should pay for the cake since it's just you and I celebrating our friend's birthday?

Hello, I'm Strawberry!

It's so great to see the questioner's confessions and questions! It's also coming up on a friend's birthday, and the questioner has already given a gift. Gifts aren't defined by their value, but by the thought that goes into them. If the gift the questioner gave was carefully selected, it shows that the questioner values this friend! I think the questioner is a student, and that 50 yuan could be the questioner's food expenses for several days. Then this gift is considered valuable in terms of its significance!

After giving a birthday gift, you and the questioner's friend ordered food on the friend's birthday. You were so happy to be spending time with the friend on their birthday that you thought you would eat too, so you offered to pay half the bill. The questioner's friend said he or she also wanted to buy ingredients to make a cake. Normally, the questioner could have said no, because the cost of the cake was not something you were unwilling to pay. But you had already planned to give a gift and help to pay half the bill, so you were happy to go ahead with your plan!

If you've ever tried baking, you know how meaningful it is to make your own cake. It takes time, materials, and money to do it yourself, but it's worth it! You also get to spend quite a lot of money on the ingredients. Plus, the cake is something the question asker's friend wants to buy and make herself. You don't have to pay for it! In this case, the question asker is celebrating her friend's birthday, and she is very happy. It is only right that she pays for everything herself.

It's just the two of us celebrating a friend's birthday! Who's going to pay for the cake?

1. Stay true to your principles!

A friend remembers your birthday. If it were me, I would be over the moon! Even if it's just a simple "happy birthday," it's a great way to show someone you care. The question asker gave a gift to a friend and helped pay half of the bill for the meal. This is a wonderful way of giving the friend a sense of ceremony according to one's ability, which is already very impressive!

After your friend expressed her desire to make the cake, you asked if you should also pay half of the cost of the cake. You were excited to help out however you could! Your friend's own idea was that you didn't need to pay for her, and it was enough that you had shown your sincerity.

We can't share half the responsibility or expenses for every idea our friends have, even if it doesn't affect us much. But that's okay! This is a principle for everyone in getting along with each other. It's about acting according to our abilities. And there's no need to compromise ourselves or regress just to please someone. A true friend will understand!

2. Insecurity about the friendship It's totally normal to feel insecure about friendships sometimes. We all have insecurities, and it's part of being human! But here's the thing: you can't let your insecurities get in the way of building a great friendship. So, let's get excited about building a strong, happy friendship!

If you know your friend well, you'll understand that they wouldn't have asked this question if they didn't trust you. They know you'll be fair and not make a fuss over trivial matters. So, you're wondering if your friend will be angry because you're not paying half the money.

In this friendship, you seem to be very cautious, and you are also very willing to share half the cost. So when your friend suggests baking a cake, you don't want to pay more than your share, but you're not sure if you should pay at all—and this is an exciting challenge for you!

Think about why you have so many concerns in this friendship. Did your friend say something during your time together that made you feel that friends have to be so calculating? Or have you encountered this situation before?

In a true friendship, friends are free and relaxed when spending time together. Perhaps it is the similarity of your worldviews that draws you together, so you are at ease when you get together, chatting about topics that interest you. Therefore, the relationship between the questioner and this friend can be judged by how they get along—and it's a great sign!

3. It's so important to maintain a sense of distance between friends!

From the questioner's description, it seems like they're more in favor of each person being responsible for half the expenses. This way, it seems that no one is taking advantage of the other, which is great! Perhaps the friends don't care about these small details, and the pattern of getting along with friends is also worked out through trial and error, which is a wonderful thing!

In the beginning of getting along, if the questioner is used to helping out with everything or paying for everything, then the friend will get used to it and take it for granted. But don't worry! If the questioner says right at the beginning that it will be an A-A system or that each person will take a turn, then this mode of getting along can also maintain the friendship very well. What exists in the middle is fairness, which makes each other feel respected by the other.

This is also the perfect sense of distance for friends! They know each other's bottom lines and principles, and they'll never test each other during interactions.

I really hope my answer is helpful to the questioner! Best wishes!

Hello! I'm a heart exploration coach, and I'm here to support you with warmth and a listening ear.

You're seen as a serious person, with your own principles and standards for people and things. At the same time, you care more about "a sense of boundaries" when interacting with others.

I can see how the issue of who pays for a cake on a friend's birthday could be tricky. It seems like you gave her a gift worth more than 50 yuan, which could make it a bit of a sticky situation. It's interesting how this can bring up different values and views on money, as well as some rules of interpersonal relationships.

If you're sharing a house with a friend, it's probably a good idea to have a system in place that works for both of you. Something like "each-other-pays" is usually pretty fair and easy to agree on.

However, in our everyday lives, especially when we're making friends, it's bound to come up at some point. Let's take a look at it from two different angles:

?1. I'd love to know why you care about this!

We all have our own unique patterns, and these patterns often influence our relationships. These patterns are formed first and foremost from what we see and learn from our parents and our original family.

It's so true that the models we have formed are influenced by our education and upbringing. And it's also so true that these models have been able to protect us in the past, which is why we've been able to maintain them.

You're a serious person, and you know right from wrong. You pay attention to boundaries, and you need to maintain them in terms of money and financial interests. For example, you believe that siblings should keep accounts separate.

These are your values, and you want to be clear and understand everything, which is totally understandable!

We all tend to judge a person or thing based on our own values and feelings. In your world view, as you mentioned in your question, "Who pays for the cake?," you have already given a gift and paid half of the bill, and you celebrated her birthday together. Based on this reasoning, you should also pay for the cake.

However, the gift is worth more than 50 yuan, and she should have invited you to eat cake on her birthday, so you don't have to pay for the cake.

I totally get it. It's so easy to use money and material things to measure our relationships, isn't it? I don't know how old you are, but I'm guessing you're still a student. I know that even a few dollars can seem like a lot to you right now.

? 2. I'm just wondering, does your friend mind this?

If you can't get a cake, your friend wants to buy the ingredients and make it herself. This is her proposal. I'm not sure if it implies that you should also pay for it, but I'm sure she'd be happy to help you out if you're struggling!

In normal interactions between classmates and friends, exchanging gifts is a great way to strengthen friendships! It's so important to treat others with kindness and respect, because they'll treat you the same way.

And when it's your birthday, she'll also give you a gift and invite you to eat cake!

If the other person doesn't intend to do so, you can completely let go of your own concerns and enjoy your birthday with her in a relaxed and happy way. No worries!

At the end of the day, it's the emotional bond between people that matters most. And gifts and meals are just the icing on the cake!

I really hope this helps! Sending love to you all ??

I'd love to keep chatting! Just click 'Find a coach' in the top right or bottom of the page. I'll be there to support you every step of the way.

Hello, question asker.

I came across your question on the platform about whether you should pay for your friend's birthday cake. From this, it can also be seen that you are a very loyal and righteous person. It's clear that you care a great deal about this friend and are concerned that if you don't handle the details well, it might affect your relationship.

1. It seems that you have already given her a birthday gift of almost 50 yuan, and you have also ordered the food, and you have paid half of the cost. Since you were unable to order a cake, your friend wanted to buy the ingredients and make it herself. It's understandable if you're unsure about paying for the cake yourself. Your friend's attitude might be a factor here. She may have said that you should order the cake for her and pay for it, but she might not mean it. If you give her the money, there's a chance she won't take it. It's also worth noting that you have already given her a gift and paid for it, and she is aware of this. It's unlikely that your relationship will be negatively affected just because you didn't pay for the cake.

2. Details often reflect underlying values. It's important to remember that the birthday person is the most important, and it's crucial to ensure they have a happy birthday. If you truly care about this friend, I believe you'll both be happy to contribute, and there's no need to feel overwhelmed by this decision. It's natural to have different ideas, but it's essential to follow your heart and do what you feel is right.

3. The value of human interaction lies in the exchange of hearts. Sincerity is achieved when hearts are exchanged. It is important to remember that economic interactions should not be made overly complicated, and that it is not always necessary to be calculating about everything. It is always best to do only what you are capable of, and to avoid doing things against your will just to save face. It is worth considering whether this is always the best approach.

4. It would be beneficial to communicate with your friend openly and directly. There's no need to guess or speculate. Being straightforward is often the most sincere approach. You could say something like, "You prepare the money for the cake." It might be helpful to observe your friend's attitude. It seems like she trusts you and relies on you. It's likely that she'd appreciate your help in preparing the cake. If she has her own ideas, she may want to prepare it herself.

I hope my answer is helpful. I wish you all the best.