Why do I always want to explain my thoughts clearly to avoid misunderstandings?

Good morning, Thank you for your question. My name is Evan, and I am a consultant at the fine-tuning school.

From the questioner's description, it is evident that they are uncertain about how to maintain harmonious relationships with their friends. Effective communication is a crucial aspect of interpersonal relationships, as it facilitates mutual understanding and fosters stronger connections.

In the situation described by the questioner, the objective is to avoid any potential misunderstandings by providing an explanation. This is driven by a desire to maintain the friendship and demonstrate respect for the other person.

It is important for the questioner to understand their own motivations for attempting to clarify their position when they believe they have been misunderstood. What is the underlying significance of this perceived misunderstanding that causes the questioner to feel the need to provide such a detailed explanation?

What are the emotional consequences for the questioner when they are misunderstood by their colleagues? Do they experience feelings of insecurity or hurt?

It is essential for the questioner to carefully perceive these feelings and identify the factors influencing their views on the misunderstanding.

It is important to note that everyone will have their own opinions and thoughts about the information they receive due to their individual level, environment, and values. This is an unavoidable aspect of human nature.

If these views and ideas are a misunderstanding, it will be challenging for the questioner to gain approval and understanding from their colleagues. Before presenting your ideas, it is essential to understand the other person's perspective.

It would be beneficial to inquire as to why they hold that particular view and what the rationale behind it is.

This will assist the questioner in responding in a more constructive manner to the other person's point of view, rather than simply refuting or explaining.

It is important to respect the other person's right to express their opinions during a discussion. It is not appropriate to assume that only the questioner's opinion is correct. The other person will also have their own thoughts and feelings after hearing the questioner's explanation, and this is allowed.

When presenting your own ideas, it is important to respect the other person's feelings. Even if you disagree with the other person's point of view, avoid using offensive or disparaging language.

It is important to note that while the questioner is entitled to express their own views, they must also respect the other person's position.

Once you have presented your thoughts, it is important to listen carefully to the feedback from the other person. Have you been able to clarify your point of view effectively?

Are there any further questions or concerns? By listening to the feedback of the other party, the questioner can gain a deeper understanding of their thoughts and needs, thus further enhancing the understanding of the situation.

It is important to try to get the other party to understand the questioner's point of view by combining it with their own ideas. Additionally, it is beneficial to try to find common ground with the other party.

By emphasizing common ground, the questioner can facilitate acceptance of the other person's point of view and collaborative problem-solving.

I would like to suggest the following books as resources for further reading: The Communication Bible, Difficult Conversations: How to Resolve Complex Interpersonal Conflicts, and Crucial Conversations: How to Communicate Effectively.

It is my hope that this response will prove helpful to the questioner.

Prioritize self-care by taking a moment to give yourself a hug.

It is only natural to feel this way. In any communication, particularly with close colleagues, we all want our colleagues to understand our true thoughts and feelings and to avoid misunderstandings and resentment.

However, there are instances when communication does not proceed as planned.

1. The manner and timing of communication are also important factors to consider. Sometimes, an overly eager approach to explaining one's thoughts can lead to confusion or pressure on the other party. This may be due to a lack of alignment between the explanation and the other person's perspective, or to the way the explanation is presented, which may make the other person feel uncomfortable.

Additionally, there are instances when it is not feasible to provide an explanation immediately, and it may be necessary to wait for the other party to become more receptive or ready to listen.

2. Self-affirmation: The need to explain oneself clearly may also be an expression of the desire to affirm one's own self-image. It is natural to want the other person to agree with you and confirm that you are right.

It is important to remember that everyone has their own point of view and understanding, and it is not reasonable to expect complete agreement.

3. **Listening and understanding**: Effective communication is a two-way process. In addition to expressing your own thoughts, it is essential to listen attentively to the other person's perspective. Your colleague may have concerns or understandings that were not fully considered when you were in a hurry to present your own ideas.

4. The impact of emotions: When the other party is dissatisfied with your explanation, you may experience feelings of frustration, discontent, and anger. These emotions can negatively impact communication, potentially deepening the misunderstanding.

5. Moderate Explanations: It is important to note that explanations are necessary, particularly when there is a difference of opinion. However, it is even more crucial to provide moderate explanations.

It is possible to select the most critical points for explanation and to avoid providing overly lengthy and complex explanations, thus increasing the likelihood of the other party understanding and accepting the information provided.

6. **Building trust**: In a long-term business relationship, it is crucial to establish trust. When trust is already in place, even minor misunderstandings can be easily resolved through open communication.

It is also important to accept that communication does not always solve problems. Despite our best efforts to understand and explain, misunderstandings may still occur. In such instances, it is essential to learn to accept and let go, maintain an open mind and a positive outlook, and seek more effective communication strategies.