Why do I feel such strong negative emotional responses towards someone I don't like?

It's totally normal to feel a bit uncomfortable when you're in a situation like this. We spend so much time together at college, whether it's in the classroom or in the dorm, that it's only natural to feel a bit awkward. If we don't handle these situations well, they can really take up a lot of our energy, so it's important to try to find a way to make it work.

It can be really tough to change someone else.

The good news is that we can always change our own thinking, and this will help to make those negative feelings subside a little.

Let's start with classmates. They can become respectful rivals.

"We are both better, competing for resources, with conflicting interests. I can sense the hidden competitiveness and unfriendliness in her towards me, even though she will still be superficially nice to me, asking me questions and so on."

This is a totally harmless, friendly competition!

When you're young, it's actually a really good thing to have an "imaginary enemy."

It can also help you to keep working hard to become the best version of yourself that you can be!

Sometimes, we can get stuck in our own ways of solving problems, which can feel like a kind of closure. It's always nice to see how others solve problems and learn from each other!

Sometimes, we can get stuck in our own ways of solving problems, which can feel like a kind of closure. It can be really helpful to look at how others solve problems and learn from each other!

And she can help her think in new ways and see new possibilities.

If she feels inferior, she should respect our opponent, hide this feeling of competing with each other, and draw the nutrients she needs from her to better improve herself.

It's so important to be more tolerant of your roommates.

We all know that nobody likes someone who is full of themselves and competitive.

But here's the thing: people like this often end up surrounded by a group of people. Why is that?

People tend to avoid harm and seek gain, so if you hang out with someone like that, you'll make yourself look good!

And she was able to hide her inferiority complex, which made her feel really good about herself.

That's just the way a girl from the countryside thinks!

"She comes from a humble background, but she still has to shop online in a high-profile manner and speaks with a sharp tongue." Her inferiority complex was transformed into confidence by the approach of her roommate with a sense of superiority.

However, it's possible that all of this is just superficial. It's hard to know for sure whether she really has substance.

Oh, yes! There are people like this in the dorms at universities, and you will also encounter many of them in your future work.

So, should we let ourselves be constantly dragged down by negative emotions because of their existence? It's not worth it, my friend.

It's like punishing yourself for someone else's mistakes, which is totally unfair!

We can absolutely change our perspective and give ourselves eyes that can discover beauty!

Every day, take a moment to record some of the beautiful things and scenery you see.

It's so important to write down words and feelings that make you feel good!

When our perspective changes, it's like we're building a wall around ourselves that makes it harder for other things to affect us.

Then, the questioner may want to ask himself: what are the strengths that are at work in him, since he dislikes them so much?

We all have our own special talents and qualities.

Not liking others to compare, show off, or attract attention to themselves shows that you're a laid-back, down-to-earth person who's not into the spotlight.

The questioner is a hard worker and stays grounded, which is why he's become so good in his class!

It's just a fact of life that outstanding people will always attract controversy. Even with all the very influential people online today, there are still groups of people who attack them.

I remember a big V saying:

"How do you know you're popular? Well, you know you're popular when people start to hate on you, and the worse they hate on you, the more popular you are."

In other words, when you're in school, you'll attract people who like you and people who don't like you, but that's totally normal!

When you realize that your own excellence is low-key, unadorned, and grounded in hard work, you can attract or become friends with a group of such people. It's a wonderful feeling!

It would be really great if we could shift our perspective to focus on more people like you, and cherish such friendships. I think you'll find that this will be much more effective than focusing on people with different values from yours.

And finally, spend your energy on all the people and things that can help you become the best version of yourself and achieve your goals!

It's so true that youth is fleeting! I recently saw a popular online meme that said, "Youth is short, and the pandemic has taken up three years of it."

Time really does fly! And the pandemic has made us appreciate the people and moments in our lives even more.

When you feel uncomfortable, tell yourself, "It's okay, you can't change them, but you can coexist with them."

You don't need to be friends, but it'd be great if you could just get along!

You know what always helps me? Running! It's a great way to dissipate any uncomfortable feelings you might have.

You can also make a group of good friends who are more suitable for you, and together you'll forget all about these troubles!

There are some circles that you don't need to fit in, and that's okay! You don't have to resist them either.

Be kind to yourself and embrace your own imperfections. You can also take courage from the knowledge that you might be disliked, and that's okay! You can read this book, "The Courage to Be Disliked," by Japanese authors Ichiro Kishimi and Fumikatsu Koga.

Because we have the courage to be hated, we don't attract the negative energy of being hated.

If this is the most beautiful blooming of my life, then even if there is the possibility of being hated, I will go there with my own two feet, and I'll be okay!

Once you've graduated from university, it's a great idea to set yourself a plan and take one step at a time towards your goal.

The future is going to be so wonderful! There's no time to waste on people and things that make you feel uncomfortable.

I really hope the original poster feels better, opens their mind to new possibilities, and meets a better version of themselves.

Hello! I can really feel your inner pressure, tension, and confusion from your description.

In university, it's totally normal to have a few people in your life who you don't see eye to eye with. It can be hard to feel comfortable around people you don't like, especially when you can tell they're getting closer.

On top of that, these feelings are all kept from you, which makes you feel really uncomfortable.

I totally get it. We all have to deal with people we don't like at some point in our lives, whether it's at school or in our everyday lives. It's how we handle these situations that matters.

☘️ Why don't you like them?

Maybe you have a lot of standards for judging the people around you, what is good and what is bad.

Or you might think that you're the good one, while those who don't get along with you are the bad ones.

It's totally normal to feel this way, especially when there's competition for resources or a conflict of interest. It's like your subconscious is protecting you by creating an undercurrent of competition and an unfriendly feeling.

So you'll unconsciously feel annoying and want to stay away. It's totally normal! Even if you try to hide it, the other person will still feel it. And that can affect your relationship.

I totally get it. This feeling is mutual.

But when two roommates voted for that student during the voting process and loudly proclaimed their vote, you felt a bit challenged and attacked, and it felt like their words were directed at you.

☺️ Everyone has a purpose and value in existence.

There are all kinds of people in the world, and they're all wonderful in their own way.

It doesn't matter if they're from the city or the countryside, they have the right to live their lives as they choose. Even if you don't agree, it's important to respect their choices.

Everyone has the right and freedom to be themselves, and it can be tough to figure out what's right and wrong, good and evil, based on our own views.

After all, we all have our own limitations, and it can be tough to live a good life on our own. There's no need to focus more energy on other people.

It's so important to remember that when you pull energy away from other people and focus on yourself, it makes it easier to gain a relaxed and carefree mindset. This then allows you to live a more relaxed and peaceful life, which is something we all deserve!

Wishing you all the best!

If they are not directly targeting you, not laughing at you, and not acting too obviously, it may be worth considering that there is still room for improvement. It's possible that these people you don't like have already made you dislike them, and that they may not change in the short term.

It is not uncommon for people to find themselves in uncomfortable situations, and there are often clear rules that govern how we act in these situations. It is possible that the tension in your relationship may be due to the fact that you have a lot of contact with each other, which could be similar to the dynamics you had in high school.

The university offers a wonderful opportunity to enhance your comprehensive abilities. You have the option to choose your own major and then select other subjects as minors. You can also participate in a variety of engaging clubs, the student union, pursue internships, and some students even start a business while in college.

It might be helpful to consider that there is simply no time to think about competition in studies. Everyone actually has their own things to do. It's possible that the conflict of interest you're experiencing now may be that you're only focusing on this class. This situation can still be slightly opened up. If the other person is competing with you, there might be no need for you to compete with her as well.

Perhaps the best way to deal with it is to simply let her be. You should be grateful that she is still on friendly terms with you. And if your roommates are the type to compare themselves with others, then in the end, they may end up hurting their own wallets. It's worth asking yourself why they feel the need to compare themselves with others.

This kind of unnecessary comparison may eventually result in financial costs. It's important to recognize that true warriors need to face themselves, not be dazzled by materialism. You have the option to ignore their meanness or various attempts to incite trouble. If you find the situation challenging, you might consider changing dormitories and shifts. However, it's possible that such individuals may appear in every class and dormitory. One way to approach this is to accept the situation and limit your interactions with them. If you're open to it, talking with a psychological counselor could be helpful in understanding your thoughts and feelings.

Could I ask you a question, ZQ?