Why does it hurt when you feel that other people look down on you?

The questioner, the present is absolutely amazing! I'm so grateful to have met you!

After reading your description, I can tell you're a great person with a lot to offer! I can see that you're concerned about other people's opinions and that you have room to grow in terms of self-esteem. I'm here to give you a big hug and support you in your journey!

I'd like to share a quote with you: "Everyone is inherently complete." Everyone has unlimited potential! It's so exciting to discover and tap into your potential.

You mentioned that you feel like others look down on you. I don't know why you feel this way, but I know it's not true! Everyone's appearance is a projection of their inner self, which shows that you also look down on yourself internally.

I don't know if your nurturer often criticized and belittled you during your growth process. But guess what? You are actually not that bad! You were just a young child, and you believed in what your nurturer said, didn't you?

Dear friend, I have a great suggestion for you! Try writing in an appreciation diary every day and praising yourself for three little things every day. If you persist, you will be amazed at how many shining points you discover! When you are confident within and know that you are not that bad, you will not care about other people's opinions.

Do you ever feel uncomfortable when you think others are looking down on you? It's because you're actually approving of their behavior! You're happy to be looked down on by others and to have them tell you what's right. Let me explain. If you're 1.8 meters tall and someone calls you a short person, you won't be angry. You'll laugh at the other person for being blind!

And if you're not tall, you'll feel bad when people say that to you, won't you?

So, get out of this kind of mentality! Build your self-esteem, see more of your own merits, and praise yourself every day. At the same time, if you have a clear understanding of yourself and a plan for the future, and if you make a little progress every day, you will like yourself more and more!

Wow, I'm truly amazing!

I really hope my answer is helpful for you! I wish you the absolute best!

As you and the other person have the same values and standards and the same conclusions, you may believe that the other person despises you, which is a reasonable and valid assumption.

If it is accurate to view you with disdain, it implies that you are deserving of such treatment and that you possess undesirable qualities.

Reaching such a conclusion will not result in any negative emotional response.

For example, if someone were to suggest that Gao Yuanyuan is unattractive, what would be your assessment of her thoughts on the matter? It would be unproductive for her to be upset.

For example, if someone were to point at Jack Ma and say, "You're a poor guy," Jack Ma would likely react with anger. Similarly, if someone were to say, "You're ugly," Jack Ma would likely accept the comment without issue.

Replace the above two individuals with yourself and analyze your own mental processes to gain insight into the underlying thoughts and logic.

Typically, individuals possess ordinary attributes and circumstances. When confronted with criticism or disapproval, it is natural to experience some degree of self-doubt and uncertainty. In such instances, it is crucial to focus on one's own self-reflection rather than the external response. There is no need to hasten or dwell on negative emotions. Instead, take the time to assess your own thoughts and actions.

He may be correct, or he may not. This presents an opportunity for self-examination. Ultimately, the attitudes of others are their business, and they do not affect your self-worth. What matters is understanding yourself and your actions.

I wish you success and happiness.

Hello there!

It's totally normal to feel a little upset when you feel looked down upon. It's just our perception reacting more quickly than our rational thinking. So, if we're exposed to a lot of negative comments and information over a long period of time, it can affect our emotional balance.

However, if you always believe that external influences are greater than yourself, it might reflect a lack of internal self-confidence. This just means that you might need to reflect on your own self-esteem and related issues to solve the root cause of the emotions first.

Let's say someone is clearly capable, but when they encounter a position that could lead to promotion, they show signs of stress and feel at a loss. This can be a sign of low self-esteem. But if it's just a temporary feeling of panic, it's totally normal. Once you calm down, you'll feel stronger and be able to make choices that are good for you.

So, what we usually say is that when someone overreacts to something, it's actually their mind trying to make sense of things. When there's a lot going on, it can be hard to stay calm. But that's okay! We all have moments where we feel overwhelmed.

Have you ever wondered where emotions come from? It's a great question! And the answer is something you can discover for yourself.

Wishing you all the best! ?

Hello, landlord! I'm smiling.

After reading your description, I understand your question better. I'm here to support you.

From your description, it's clear that the current situation has caused you distress and reflection. This is why you believe there are problems with yourself. I commend you for being a thoughtful person.

You mentioned feeling looked down on by others, and I agree that this can lead to negative feelings. It's clear that you value others' opinions of you, which is why you care about what others say about you. This has affected who you are today. This also shows that you are insecure about yourself. You want to increase your self-confidence through the recognition and praise of others.

Let me be clear: your value in the eyes of others is closely tied to your self-esteem. It's evident that when others view you negatively, your self-esteem suffers. And this inevitably affects your emotions.

People with low self-esteem are easily influenced by external evaluations because they lack intrinsic self-worth. They crave external validation.

I have also summarized some methods to help you alleviate the current situation, and I am confident that they will help you.

(1) Boost your self-confidence by raising your inner value. When you rely too much on external validation, it's easy for your confidence to fluctuate.

(2) You are affected by other people's opinions because you rely too much on your external environment. You are easily influenced by your external environment. Give yourself self-confidence.

(3) When you're feeling down, get your stress out through sports, music, chatting, confiding, etc. Don't dwell on unhappy situations.

Read the books "The Courage to Be Disliked" and "The Courage to Be Happy." They will help you understand yourself better.

(5) Relax, take it easy, and don't stress yourself out. You'll only feel bad if you do. Take things slowly.

The world and I love you.

Best wishes!

Good morning, I am pleased to have this opportunity to share my views with you.

This psychological phenomenon is referred to as "narcissism" in psychological literature.

The narcissism in question is not the same as the narcissism we usually understand. Rather, it is a primitive instinct that emphasizes self-centeredness. Like and dislike are psychological tendencies, which is perfectly normal. We all have people and things we like, and we also have people and things we dislike. There is no reason to consider it abnormal or impermissible to dislike someone or something. However, when we become the person who is not liked, or even disliked, it is difficult to accept, at least emotionally unpleasant. This is contradictory, right?

"Why is it challenging? Is it because when I perceive that others are disdainful of me, it prompts me to reflect on my own shortcomings?"

There is some merit to your assertion. As previously stated, narcissism is a primitive instinct that drives the primitive logic: if someone dislikes me, it must be because there is something wrong with me. The core of it is still "me."

There is a distinction between disliking someone and looking down on them. Disliking someone is less severe than looking down on them, and it often involves a value judgment. However, value judgments lack objective standards, which can result in a lack of clarity and consistency in our values. This can lead to a state of self-doubt and self-negation.

Furthermore, contempt may also manifest as an irrational value judgment, which can make it particularly challenging to address.

In such instances, it is essential to maintain a firm stance on one's values, judgments, and standards. A lighthearted response, such as a teasing remark, can also be effective in deflecting such comments.

In the course of our lives, we will encounter numerous individuals, some of whom will accompany us for the majority of our journey, while others will serve only as casual acquaintances. Some may not even be considered acquaintances. It is essential for adults to learn to distinguish between what is important and what is unimportant, and to prioritize spending time and energy on those who and things that are more important to us.

My name is Xiao Dong, and I am a psychological counselor. I wish you a happy life!

Hello, questioner! I'm Jia Ao, and I'm excited to help!

I can see that you are pouring out your heart on the platform, which is great! It seems like you're having trouble with interpersonal relationships, which is totally normal. You said that when others look down on you, it makes you feel really bad and you feel very uncomfortable inside. You are especially confused and want to know what psychological reason there is for this, which is a great question!

And how can you turn those negative emotions into positive ones?

I want to tell you something really important. Everyone feels bad when they are looked down upon by others. Those with thin skin react more strongly, hating themselves and wishing they could crawl into a hole. Those with thick skin take it in their stride and don't even notice. But no matter what kind of personality you have, you actually don't like being looked down upon by others. This is a normal human psychology and a reflection of your own strong self-esteem. It is precisely because you have a relatively strong self-esteem that you are even more unwilling to be looked down upon by others!

Have you ever wondered why you feel bad when you feel that others look down on you?

Let's chat!

1. [Embrace your emotions as they are]

Embrace all your emotions as they are! When you are looked down upon, it is easy to feel a sense of loss. But remember, you are worthy of love and respect! It is like being insulted, and it is hard to calm down. The stronger your self-esteem, the more painful it is when others look down upon you. But you have the power to choose how you react! It is painful and tormenting, but you have the power to choose how you react! There is nothing you can do to change it, because you have no right to interfere with other people. You have no control over what other people think of you, and you just feel very much under pressure. But you can choose to feel empowered!

As long as you live in this world, it is inevitable that you will be judged by others. But you know what? That's okay! You can do well, and when you don't, you can learn from it. It's all about your state of mind and how you face it.

2. [Don't worry too much about what others think]

If you care too much about what other people think, you'll never live your life to the fullest! Other people have their own minds, and we can't control what they think about us, nor can we interfere. You are not living your life for other people, and the most important thing is to live your own life to the fullest! Learn to ignore other people's opinions and judgments, and get to know yourself in all aspects. Know your own strengths and weaknesses, don't overestimate yourself or belittle yourself easily, keep your mind calm, be yourself, and slowly live your life well, without being easily defined by others!

3. [Strengthen your inner self]

To be truly objective and rational, and not to care about other people's opinions and judgments, the key is to strengthen your inner self, constantly improve your psychological resilience, so that you have the ability to face the difficulties you encounter and find a way to solve the problems at hand. You can learn a little about psychology, and read psychology-related books in your spare time. This will benefit you a lot, so give it a try! Study hard, improve yourself, and make your inner self stronger and stronger, so that you can face any difficulties without fear. Come on! Believe in yourself, nothing is impossible, and no difficulty can stop you! I wish you all the best!

I really hope my answer helps you! The world and I love you ♥