Why does my daughter, in the first year of junior high school, refuse to sleep at midnight? What have I overlooked?

Hello. I see you're confused. I'm here to help.

You're worried because your daughter keeps the night light on and won't go to bed. You're afraid this will affect her growth because she's in the first year of junior high.

If you go to her room at night, she'll think you're scolding her.

The next day, ask her if she's been having trouble. Don't scold or criticize.

You can also talk to your daughter's junior high school teacher about her late nights.

Do this over the weekend, when you're playing with your daughter.

While playing, you asked your daughter about staying up late.

Ask her about staying up late.

Create a relaxed atmosphere so your daughter will open up to you.

I hope you can resolve the problem soon.

I can only think of these things.

I hope my answers help and inspire you. I am the answer, and I study hard every day.

Yixinli loves you! Best wishes!

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Hello! I hope you're having a lovely day. I just had a few quick questions: I've noticed that people are still using webcams at home.

Have you ever thought about putting the computer on the balcony? I know it can be hard to keep kids away from their electronic devices, but I found that hiding them all away didn't help. My daughter was still able to find a way to use them, and it was starting to affect my sleep.

You tried to chat with your daughter, but your caring questions made her feel a bit overwhelmed. She responded in a perfunctory manner and didn't immediately turn off the lights and go to bed as you had asked, which made you feel a bit helpless.

It's totally understandable to feel like you've overlooked something and worry that something might happen. It's clear there's a lack of trust between you, which is totally normal.

It's totally understandable to want to keep an eye on your daughter and make sure she's safe. But it seems like you might be worrying too much. Installing a webcam, banning electronic products, and worrying about your daughter's sleep and other behaviors all reflect that you don't trust your child enough. How can you expect your child to trust you and open up to you if you're always watching and worrying? You're concerned about your child's behavior, but you're not seeing their real needs.

I'm just wondering, why doesn't she sleep in the middle of the night, but sneaks up and hides to watch videos? Or is it that you don't let her watch at all?

You mentioned that you accidentally saw the usage time of the backup machine, or you were thinking about whether the backup machine was being used. You also told me about your daughter's reaction, which was like a frightened bird, very tense. This shows that she is still a little guilty about her actions, but she just can't control herself.

It might be that they're feeling a bit down and are looking for a way to let off some steam. But you've told them not to.

It would be really helpful to know if your daughter has any activities that can relax and refresh her. It might also be a good idea to communicate more from her perspective to help relieve her stress.

Wishing you all the best!

Good day, I'm Cheng Yan, a listening coach, and I'm grateful for the opportunity to address your question.

From what you've shared, it seems like your daughter has a strong desire to use electronic products and is even willing to take risks to climb over the wall to get her phone. She also seems to have trouble sleeping at night. It's possible that there might be something on her mind. That phone or computer might be hiding some secrets and also some temptations.

We're not sure what it is.

Your approach is commendable. You identified the issue but refrained from directly confronting the child, instead offering gentle care and support. However, the child remained reluctant to discuss the matter. You may be experiencing some anxiety and discomfort, and even a hint of self-blame, wondering if you might have overlooked something and seeking a way to move beyond the current situation.

If a child wants to go online but would prefer not to have their mother know, there are a few things they could try to work through.

1. It might be helpful to consider your own parent-child relationship and whether your child's attachment model has been established in a way that makes them feel secure around you. In parent-child relationships, relationships are everything.

It is understandable that adolescents may be reluctant to open up to adults if they do not feel secure with them. It is possible that children may believe that if they do something that adults disapprove of or strongly oppose, they will be scolded or even physically punished if they tell.

2. Could mobile phones and computers have social attributes? It seems that the greatest need of children in adolescence is peer approval.

It could be said that this sense of peer approval comes from socializing. They may care a great deal about the opinions and comments of their classmates and friends, and perhaps less about their parents and teachers.

If her classmates, especially her closer friends, use mobile phones and computers and enjoy chatting online, she may feel the need to fit in and may look for ways to get her hands on a mobile phone and computer, even if it means going to great lengths.

3. It might be helpful to observe your child's daily life carefully to see if they have any addictive hobbies. For example, reading novels, watching videos, watching short dramas, playing games, etc.

It really depends on what aspect you're looking at. I think you'll find that paying more attention to the details will help you figure out what to do.

It might be helpful to try to understand the situation in this regard. It's possible that behind the attraction is a demand, and that there might be an aspect of your child's needs that is not being met.

It may be helpful to consider that education requires opportunity and consistency. You might find it beneficial to talk to your spouse to hear their thoughts, determine an education plan, seize opportunities, and talk to your child at the right time.

I hope this is helpful. Best of luck!

I hope the world and I can show you love and support.

Hello, I'm Chen Yu, a psychological counselor. I totally get where you're coming from with your concerns about your daughter spending too much time on her electronic products. It's also understandable that you're worried about your daughter's reluctance to open up and her future. As a mother, I know it's tough!

As kids start puberty, they're also going through a lot of changes. Their bodies and brains are growing fast, and their hormones are changing too. This can make it tough for them to know who they are and what they want. They might feel like they need to be seen, respected, and understood. They might even start questioning their parents or teachers. It's totally normal for kids to have lots of doubts and conflicts during this time. If they don't have someone they can trust, they might feel lost or turn to addictive behaviors.

It's so important for mums to listen to their little ones. Kids need to know they're accepted, without any criticism, blame or denial. They need to feel understood and loved. It's only natural that kids might be a bit reluctant to communicate if they've had bad experiences in the past. It's a way of protecting themselves. But we can help them through it.

It's so important to find a good time to have a heart-to-heart with your child and be there for them through this special time of puberty. I truly believe that with your warmth and love, your child will be so touched and you'll be able to build a stronger, more harmonious relationship.