Why is there a "submissiveness test" in relationships?

Dear question asker, My name is June Lai Feng.

I appreciate your confusion. In a relationship, people can be affected by a number of factors, including emotional, psychological, and physical aspects.

In this instance, you may feel uncertain and conflicted, questioning your own thoughts and actions.

The following is an overview of the "submission test."

In a romantic relationship, one party may attempt to ascertain the other's level of obedience or commitment to the relationship through certain behaviors or words. This practice, commonly referred to as "obedience testing," is not a healthy romantic behavior. It can lead to trust issues, conflicts, and unpleasantness. This behavior may

Some individuals may experience feelings of insecurity in a relationship due to a perceived lack of security. In such instances, they may resort to what is commonly referred to as a "submission test," which is designed to confirm the love and loyalty of the other person.

From a desire for control, some individuals may attempt to gain more control in a relationship and utilize the "submission test" to influence the other person's actions.

In some cases, unhealthy relationship patterns may result from an imbalance of power, prompting one party to attempt to assert their position through what are commonly referred to as "submission tests."

Furthermore, an individual's upbringing, values, and psychological state may also be contributing factors. For instance, an individual who was raised in a family environment with a strong desire for control may unconsciously adopt a similar behavior pattern in a relationship.

Furthermore, sociocultural factors may also influence the prevalence of the "submission test." In certain cultural contexts, men are expected to assume a more dominant role in relationships, which may increase the likelihood of their engagement in the "submission test."

It is important to note that "submission tests" should not become the norm in a relationship. Such behavior may have negative consequences for the other person, including feelings of hurt, damage to mutual trust, and ultimately, a negative impact on the stability and health of the relationship.

In a healthy relationship, both partners should demonstrate mutual respect, trust, and support. Testing the other person's love for you is counterproductive and should be avoided.

Why do men feel the need to touch women on the first meeting? Why do they persist in maintaining physical contact when the relationship is still in its infancy, undergoing a gradual process of assessment?

Such behavior may cause discomfort and disrespect. Physical contact or experimentation before a relationship is established or when people don't know each other well enough may be considered inappropriate.

It is important to note that views on boundaries of physical contact and personal space vary from person to person. It is therefore essential to respect the wishes and boundaries of the other person.

In a relationship, a male partner who desires physical contact on the first date or who consistently initiates physical contact even before the relationship is confirmed may be attempting to assess the situation, which could be perceived as inappropriate due to the potential for discomfort and insecurity on the part of the female partner.

Such behavior may indicate a lack of respect for the female associate and a belief that she is an object to be played with at will.

Such behavior may indicate a lack of self-confidence and the belief that physical contact is the primary means of attracting the attention of girls.

Such behavior may be a bad habit for the boys, and they may believe it is a normal way to behave.

This behavior may be attributed to the boy's biological needs. It is well documented that men are biologically more susceptible to sexual urges than women. As a result, they may experience these urges when they meet and attempt to satisfy them through physical contact.

In either case, this behavior is inappropriate and can have a negative impact on the relationship. If you find yourself engaging in this behavior in a relationship, or if you find your partner engaging in it with you, it is imperative that you stop it immediately and communicate with your partner.

It is possible to communicate your feelings to your partner and attempt to establish a relationship based on mutual respect and trust.

Should you feel uncomfortable or unhappy about this behavior, it is important to express your feelings in a timely manner. It is essential to let the other person know that you do not want this kind of physical contact and that you want to establish a healthier, more equal, and respectful relationship.

If the other party does not demonstrate an understanding or respect for your feelings, it may be necessary to reconsider the suitability of continuing the relationship.

Why did you want to resume the relationship with your partner even after he made it clear that he was conducting an "obedience test"? It seems that your partner weighed the pros and cons and ultimately decided to end the relationship. I still understand his situation and actions, however.

Additionally, there may be a desire to reconcile due to the presence of residual feelings and the hope of a fresh start. Despite clear indications from the other party that they are conducting a "submission test," there may still be a desire to remain in the relationship due to the belief that the feelings are genuine.

It is possible that you can understand his situation and behavior because you want to maintain a good relationship with him and hope to solve problems together. You may think that he is acting for a reason and want to understand his thoughts and feelings.

From a psychological perspective, individuals often exhibit contradictory behaviors in relationships for a multitude of complex reasons. When the other party explicitly states that they are conducting a "submission test," even if such behavior may be distressing, there is still a desire to reconcile. It may be that the long-established emotional connection makes one strongly attached to the relationship, and even if the other party's behavior is uncomfortable, there is still a tendency to maintain the relationship.

You may be inclined to hope for a positive outcome in the future, with the expectation that reuniting will result in a change of behavior and attitude from your partner, leading to an improvement in the relationship.

If you have linked your self-worth to the ability to maintain the relationship, you may attempt to salvage the relationship even if the other person's behavior is hurtful to you, in order to prove your self-worth.

It may be cognitive dissonance, a psychological discomfort that occurs when your actions are inconsistent with your beliefs. To alleviate this discomfort, you may attempt to reconcile your actions with your beliefs by, for example, understanding the other person's situation and actions.

Additionally, there is the potential for an emotional dependency to develop with the individual providing support, which may result in difficulty in moving on, even if the relationship is detrimental to one's well-being.

Gaining insight into the other person's circumstances and conduct may be a means of attempting to exert control over the situation. By grasping the other person's motivations, you may believe that you can anticipate and influence future outcomes. However, this understanding does not imply that the other person's actions are acceptable or that reconciliation is a prudent decision.

It is crucial to conduct a thorough self-assessment before making any decision. This entails honestly evaluating your own feelings, determining your genuine desires, and assessing whether the relationship aligns with your needs and values. Additionally, it is essential to consider your mental health and well-being and implement appropriate safeguards to protect yourself.

I extend my warmest regards to you and wish you a life filled with joy and contentment.

Hello! I give you a 360-degree hug!

Let me be clear: a compliance test is about controlling others. It's about wanting to be in charge and wanting to be obeyed. It's about wanting to be like rivers and lakes, with their ebbs and flows of control and counter-control.

People are equal, but they don't have to be. Even if there are only two people, there is a division of roles. You may be in charge this time, and the other person may be in charge next time.

This is the basis of our understanding of so-called control and obedience. Judging from your description of the problem, the man clearly told you that he was conducting an obedience test.

This repeatability test is a term used in PUA. It means that one party tests whether the other party obeys them by making the other party do some specified behaviors. The purpose is to make the other party listen to them and achieve the goal of controlling the other party. Some of these tests are more subtle. They make the other party give in through constant testing, breaking through the other party's defenses, and taking control into one's own hands.

Some are more direct, for example, "You must listen to me. If you don't stop me, what will happen?" The famous test of calling a stag a horse is actually a test of obedience.

Some people conduct submission tests in relationships because they lack confidence. They need to exert control by making the other person submit to them. This type of person is inferior and insecure. You asked why a guy touches you on the first date and tests you step by step without a confirmed relationship. This is disrespectful.

I firmly believe that this is disrespectful to the other person's wishes. These kinds of people have a deep-seated disrespect for women.

Let me be clear: these are not good qualities.

Regarding this issue, the obedience test is something we all experience and it is only natural between people. When faced with another person's obedience test, it is crucial to focus on how you feel, your feedback, and your decision.

The test is about other people's behavior, and we must focus on how we respond to it. We cannot change other people's behavior, but we can control our own.

From what you've told me, it's clear you still want to get back together with someone who has explicitly told you he's putting you to the "obedience test." It's also interesting that he weighed the pros and cons and chose to abandon you.

The other person wants you to obey her, but you really obeyed her, and she retreated. You can say that you defeated the other person's magic with magic.

The other person wants you to obey, and you use obedience to make the other person obey, but the other person is defeated by your obedience. You say that the other person weighs the pros and cons, but they're really afraid that you'll become a burden to them because you obey too completely.

Some people enjoy the process and find a sense of control in the process of control and counter-control. You, however, just lie down. You say, "Okay, I'll do whatever you say." The other person will have no sense of accomplishment and is afraid of having to take responsibility for you, so they back off.

Your attitude is clear: you accept the test of obedience and are happy to obey the other person. You may think, "Am I a masochist? I know the other person wants to hurt me, but I can still understand him." This is worth pondering. What you don't understand is your own thinking: why do I think this way?

This problem is likely related to your upbringing. For example, when you were a child, your parents gave you too much control and attention, and you got used to letting other people make decisions for you.

Or perhaps your parents gave you too much freedom and didn't control you much. You crave someone to control you a little bit. Sometimes control means love. There's a deeper underlying issue, and you enjoy obeying others and hope that someone will take control of your life. You need to think about it carefully or talk to a psychological counselor.

I am a counselor who is both Buddhist and pessimistic, but I am also motivated and positive. The world and I love you.

To the questioner, Firstly, I empathise with your current emotional state and the doubts you are experiencing.

The subject of "submission tests" in relationships is indeed intricate and encompasses a multitude of aspects pertaining to human psychology, behavior, and emotions. Let us delve into it in greater detail.

It can be argued that the concept of a "submission test" in a relationship is not a straightforward phenomenon, but rather a complex phenomenon that stems from the multifaceted psychological needs and behavioural patterns of human beings. This "test" may be the result of the two parties' exploration of the relationship, their need for trust and security in each other, as well as their personal expectations and concerns in the relationship.

First and foremost, it is essential to recognize that a relationship is an inherently exploratory process, a journey of discovery. During this journey, individuals may engage in various forms of testing to ascertain their compatibility with one another.

This "submission test" may be one method of conducting such an experiment, but it is not exclusive to the workplace. It can manifest in any interpersonal relationship.

Secondly, with regard to the boy's desire to engage in physical contact at the initial meeting and his willingness to forego confirming the relationship, this may be a reflection of personal understanding and expectations regarding romantic relationships. Some individuals may prioritize establishing intimacy through physical contact, yet this does not necessarily indicate disrespect or disregard for the other person's feelings.

Nevertheless, if the other person's behavior causes discomfort or a sense of disrespect, it is within one's rights to express one's feelings and boundaries.

One might inquire as to why the subject wished to resume the relationship with their partner, despite his explicit indication that he was conducting a "submission test." This may be attributed to the subject's comprehension and acceptance of the partner's actions, or it may be due to the subject's continued emotional attachment to the partner.

In any case, it is essential to recognize that respect is a fundamental aspect of any relationship, regardless of its nature. If one's partner's behavior leads to a sense of disrespect, it is imperative to assess whether the relationship is worth sustaining.

In psychology, this kind of behavior may be conceptualized within the frameworks of "attachment theory" and "power dynamics in intimate relationships." Attachment theory posits that individuals in a relationship seek proximity and intimacy with their partner, and this connection may be expressed and tested in various ways.

The power dynamics in an intimate relationship pertain to the status and influence of both parties and the manner in which they manage and maintain equilibrium in this power relationship.

The "submission test" in a relationship is a complex and multifaceted issue that involves numerous aspects of an individual's psychology, behavior, and emotions. It is crucial for individuals to be aware of their feelings and boundaries, to respect their own choices, and to also respect the other person's feelings and choices.

In regard to your thoughts on reconciliation, it is recommended that you take a moment to collect your thoughts and engage in a period of introspection to ascertain your genuine feelings about the relationship and the outcome you desire. Should you perceive that the issues between you can be resolved through open and honest communication, it may be beneficial to attempt to communicate with your partner in a forthright manner to ascertain whether a mutually acceptable solution can be reached.

Nevertheless, if the problems cannot be resolved or if one party has been hurt, it may be necessary to consider whether the relationship should be continued.

Ultimately, it can be stated that the experience of being in a relationship is, on the whole, a positive one. However, it is also a process that requires effort and time. It is inevitable that, during this process, various problems and challenges will be encountered. Nevertheless, as long as respect, understanding and communication are maintained, it is possible to find one's own happiness.

It is my sincere hope that you will be able to find the answers you seek and lead a happy and fulfilling life.

Hello, questioner!

I feel a strong emotion in your "why." The "why" is not a question, but a rhetorical question. You are incredulous, unable to accept it, and unable to explain your "encounter." In this relationship, you passively accepted the "submissiveness test." Your feelings remind you that this approach is disrespectful and insincere. But what shocks you is that you ignored your own feelings, accepted your boyfriend's test of obedience, and even empathized with him, being able to understand his choice to break up after weighing the pros and cons.

At this point, you have reflected on the matter and become self-aware. You have realized that something seems to be wrong, and a force is pushing you to find out why. Let's explore it together!

[Submissiveness test in a romantic relationship]

The obedience test is a fascinating concept that has gained prominence in the world of pick-up artistry (PUA). It's also a popular tactic employed by some individuals with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). It's used to identify "easy-to-manipulate targets" in the early stages of a relationship, with the ultimate goal of emotional manipulation. It taps into a fundamental psychological aspect: the extent of obedience to authority among normal people is often far greater than they realize.

And it all comes from the famous social psychology experiment, the Milgram obedience experiment!

[The implementation process of the obedience test]

Step 1: Cast a wide net to test and establish dominance. The other person will use their own values and other persona frameworks to collide with you in a dominant manner. It is not the key to what they do to you, but rather to test the extent to which you are obedient and submissive.

For example, you mentioned that you want to touch each other physically when you first meet, and you constantly have physical contact before you determine the relationship. These behaviors can test your level of attraction to him, but more than that, they can test your response posture as a way to assess your level of obedience to the dominant person in the relationship.

Step 2: It's time for the fun part! After you've screened out the submissive type, it's time to weigh your overall value and how controllable you are. Remember, it's all about finding that perfect balance between your own values and the other person's desires. Choose the one that best meets their criteria and become their obedient "puppet on a string"!

[You empathize with what's going on with him]

You feel aggrieved and indignant because you have been broken up with. But here's the thing: you have been successfully brainwashed by him. And your perception is that "being used by him proves that you are of high value, and you like him, so you are willing to be used by him."

If someone approaches you with an ulterior motive and you're not self-aware enough, don't have a clear sense of boundaries, and are afraid to say no, then the other person will quickly identify this and invade your world, overcome your defense system, and turn you into a marionette! They'll continue to extract value from you until you realize you deserve better.

I feel sad when you describe the feeling of being dumped as "abandoned by me," and I'm also glad that you ended the relationship. You need to realize that you have given your partner the right to choose and decide for you, and this is a dangerous relationship. But it's also an opportunity for you to re-adapt to a life where you are in control, get rid of the habitual thinking of being manipulated, and regain a sense of control over yourself.

Once you realize that this isn't sincere affection and that he's not even a real person, but has created a false self-image, it's time to embrace a new reality! What are your feelings at this time?

I really hope this helps!

I'm your friend, Potato Maling, who has grown up with you. Thanks so much for your attention!

Hello, question asker! I'm Bai Li Yina, and I'm so happy to be able to answer your question. I really hope my reply can give you some warmth and help.

The person who asked the questions was really struggling with a lot of feelings. He was feeling tested in his relationship, he had bad feelings about how the other person acted from the very first meeting, and he was trying to understand why he still chose to be understanding even though he knew the other person had abandoned him. It's totally understandable to feel this way, especially after a breakup.

Let's take a moment to analyze the situation together.

It can be really tough when you're treated unfairly by someone you care about. It can leave you feeling really uncomfortable and upset. It doesn't matter if it's a clumsy first encounter or a highly controlling "obedience test," it's still a bad experience and feeling for you. It can be hard to find the courage to resist and reject, so it's understandable if you use doubt to make yourself feel better.

Deep down, you already have a very clear sense of right and wrong. You know that when you face these things, you feel uncomfortable, confused, and a little annoyed, but you also know that you can't seem to shake the other person or just yell out what's on your mind. You choose to suffer and accept this uncomfortable feeling. You are afraid of being hurt, and not resisting is a protective mechanism for you.

[Questions for thought]

1. The other person weighed the pros and cons and, sadly, chose to end things. Do you really understand him? Or are you just convincing yourself to accept this outcome?

Completely understanding the other person is to recognize their approach and not to be hurt by it. We all make mistakes, and that's okay! It's also important to remember that we can't always control how others act or what they say. Sometimes, we convince ourselves that we're being hurt because we're using reasons to justify our sadness. But, it's okay to feel sad! It's natural to feel a range of emotions.

I'd love to know which one you are!

2. Even though the other person's "obedience test" still has you wanting to get back together, it's okay! This just means that although you don't like this behavior, you haven't rejected him as a person because of it. There is still a place in your heart for this person. When you want to get back together, what are you looking forward to? Is it his company?

If you're still holding on to the good times, I totally get it.

I'd highly recommend giving these methods a try!

It might feel like you don't understand each other or your own actions, but the doubts you express are really just a reflection of your pain and your difficulty in accepting the situation. The pain caused by your breakup should be more than just these doubts.

If you don't face the reality of the breakup, you might find yourself stuck in the painful emotions of reminiscing and constantly burying grievances. When you feel pain, you can try to remind yourself that this person is already in the past, just as time will not go back.

Not thinking about him is a great way to show yourself some love!

There's no need to overthink right and wrong. The past is the past, and you know deep down what's right for you. As long as you care about yourself and your feelings, treat yourself well, and you deserve someone better to love you. It's not your fault for not being cherished.

Please, don't be too hard on yourself for other people's mistakes.

We really hope these methods will be helpful for you!

It'll take time, but you'll get through this. And don't worry or be afraid. Many people are going through or have gone through similar things, and you'll get through this too.

You're not alone, sweetheart. The world and I are with you. I'm sending you lots of love and light as you navigate this fog in your heart and find your own most comfortable state.

I just wanted to say a big thank you to everyone who has liked my post and taken the time to leave some lovely feedback. I wish you all peace and joy!

Hello! I really hope my answer can help you in some way.

It's clear you have a lot of questions about intimacy. Let's dive in! Why is there a "submission test" in a relationship? Isn't this something you only find in the workplace? Why do guys want to touch you on the first date? Why do they keep having physical contact and testing you step by step when the relationship is still uncertain? Is this disrespectful? Then why did I want to get back together with the person when they clearly told me they were conducting a "submission test"? The other person weighed the pros and cons and dumped me. Why can I still understand his situation and actions? Why is this?

I've got some thoughts to share with you!

1. In a relationship, both parties should be equal, not with one party submitting to the other. Such an intimate relationship is difficult to be happy and long-lasting—but it's so worth it!

In his book, "Inferiority and Transcendence," psychologist Adler makes an excellent point: "Love and marriage are cooperative ventures for human happiness. It is impossible for one partner to accept a subordinate position in the cooperative task. If one partner wants to dominate and force the other to obey, the two cannot live together harmoniously."

Absolutely! In an intimate relationship, both parties should be equal. This is the only way to overcome the various difficulties in the development of the relationship. For example, reaching a consensus on having children, agreeing on education issues, and working together to find solutions when there are problems in the marriage. This way, both parties can achieve their own value and contribute their own strength in the relationship. Therefore, a truly long-lasting and happy relationship is one in which both people can be themselves in the relationship, rather than losing themselves in it.

2. If it were me, I would feel disrespected if the other person made such a move. But the fact that the other person weighed the pros and cons and abandoned himself shows that he's a thoughtful person. I can still understand his situation and behavior, which is great because it means we can have a deeper conversation about boundaries in relationships. When we're in a relationship, it's important to meet each other halfway and find a way to be happy together.

If a person likes another person, he will consider the feelings of the other person and show genuine respect, rather than violating boundaries without permission. I remember when my husband and I were just dating, we also needed to ask for consent to hold hands. And it was so exciting because this consent could be given verbally or by action! For example, he would ask, "Can I hold your hand?"

If I hadn't agreed, he certainly wouldn't have held my hand, but I liked him at the time, so I agreed. And it was so exciting! But if someone else did the same without asking, it would feel like an invasion of my personal space and make me feel uncomfortable.

Absolutely! If he really wants to develop a close relationship, he also needs to ask for the other person's consent first. This is a great way to show respect for the other person!

The other person weighed the pros and cons and made the choice to move on, but still understood his situation and behavior. This shows that our own sense of value is relatively low, and we tend to please in relationships, which is actually not conducive to us meeting a truly stable and happy intimate relationship. You feel that he made the choice to move on, and you can feel that you are completely in a passive position in the relationship. It seems that you have never thought about taking the initiative to choose for yourself, and you can even take the initiative to move on from the other person yourself, but instead wait for the other person to make a decision.

This is why it's so important to boost your inner value! We're all used to pleasing others in a relationship, but if we keep doing this, we'll always feel aggrieved and passive. So, it's time to see our own patterns and break them! To do so, we need to enhance our sense of self-worth.

3. Look within, enhance your sense of inner value, and see what it is about the other person in the relationship that really attracts you. This is the part of you that needs to grow and care for yourself — and you can do it!

Maybe you feel like you absolutely need him in the relationship. Then you need to see what he gives you that makes you feel like you want to rely on him: is it companionship? Is it care? Is it recognition?

Is it respect? Is it support?

You may think that you need another person to give you something, but you're wrong! Our inner being is self-fulfilling and inherently complete. All you need to do is recognize the resources within you and give yourself the psychological needs you want. When you long for others to care for you, you need to learn to care for yourself; when you long for others to recognize you, you need to learn to recognize yourself; when you long for others to respect you, you first need to learn to respect yourself. Be your best friend and always give yourself care and support!

And to boost your inner worth, repeat these five empowering sentences to yourself every day from the heart:

First sentence: I see you! When a person is seen, they feel a sense of existence.

The little child within you also wants to be seen, to be seen in all his or her efforts, dedication, struggles, and emotions. We always long to be seen by others, but if we ourselves do not see ourselves, who else will? So, let's see ourselves!

Second sentence: You are valuable! Everyone needs to be affirmed, and being affirmed makes you feel valuable!

You don't have to wait for others to affirm you. Give yourself some affirmation every day! Tell yourself what you did well. When we constantly affirm ourselves, our self-worth will continue to grow!

You are unique! We're not perfect, but we're all special in our own way. There are more than 7 billion people in the world, but there's only one you! Appreciate your uniqueness!

You have your own unique qualities and characteristics. You may not be exceptionally intelligent or good-looking, but you have your own unique characteristics, and you will always be the only one in the world—and that's a wonderful thing!

The fourth sentence: You are a contributor! Your existence can contribute to the company, family, and friends, and their lives are made better because of you.

Do these small things and you'll feel the amazing feedback! You'll see that you can contribute to the people you love and value. When you experience this feeling, your self-worth will already be improving!

The fifth sentence is the best one of all! It says, "You belong here, and we need you here." It's like this: an airplane cannot fly without a single part, and it would be dangerous.

So, even if we are a screw, we also have the value of a screw! In a company, whether it is the cleaning lady or the CEO who runs the whole operation, they are all indispensable in the company and in the organization, and all have their own unique value.

Therefore, it's important to remember that no matter how limited our abilities are or how lowly our status, the company, family, organization, or group you're in needs you! You belong to your company, your family, and your team.

We highly recommend that you say these five sentences to yourself often, as if there were a child inside you. This will absolutely boost your sense of self-worth! If you want to get better results, you can print out the five sentences and hang them on the wall as a room decoration. This is also a kind of positive suggestion.

We hope you find this information useful! Wishing you all the best!

Hello, questioner! I just wanted to let you know that the "submission test" in a relationship isn't a formal concept. It's used to describe the behavior of some people in a relationship who try to test the willingness and bottom line of the other person to submit.

It's true that this behavior can sometimes resemble the power games we see in the workplace. But in a romantic relationship, it's so important to base your interactions on respect, trust, and mutual understanding.

It's totally normal to want to get physical on the first date or engage in physical contact before the relationship is confirmed. But guys who want to test your reaction and bottom line in this way may not respect your personal space and feelings.

In a relationship, it's so important to respect the other person's wishes and decisions. It's not a good idea to try to force or test them to get their obedience.

If the other person has told you that they're conducting a "submission test" and you still want to get back together, it might be because you're emotionally dependent on them or you think the problems between you can be solved through communication and understanding. But if the other person has weighed the pros and cons and decided to abandon you, it's important to respect their decision and try to accept it.

In short, a relationship should be based on mutual respect, trust, and understanding. If you find yourself in an unhealthy relationship, it's so important to seek help or end the relationship in time.

It's also important to learn to protect your personal space and feelings, and not compromise your bottom line easily.

Dear Questioner, It's not uncommon for relationships to undergo a kind of behavioral test and observation, where the boundaries and bottom lines of both parties are tested. This kind of behavior may also occur in the workplace, but interactions in romantic relationships are more complex and sensitive.

In the early stages of a relationship, it is not uncommon for guys to test the girl's reaction and acceptance through physical contact. This behavior may stem from their curiosity, impulsiveness, or expectations for the development of the relationship.

It is important to note that not all men's actions are disrespectful. Everyone has a unique way of interacting and understanding. Some may find this approach acceptable, while others may feel it is disrespectful of personal boundaries.

It is possible that some people still want to get back together after the other party has made it clear that they are conducting a "submission test" for a variety of reasons. These may include personal emotional dependence, trust in the other party, and understanding. Some people may feel that although this behavior is uncomfortable, they can understand the other party's situation and motives and are willing to continue the relationship on the basis of communication and understanding.

It is important to note, however, that this does not mean that such behavior is acceptable. Both parties in a relationship should strive to establish clear boundaries and respect for one another.

It is worth noting that effective interaction and communication are essential in any relationship. It is important for both parties to establish clear boundaries and respect, as well as to understand each other's feelings and needs.

Should any issues arise regarding inappropriate behavior or communication, it is recommended that both parties communicate honestly and seek a solution.

Hello! I'm listening with great interest!

I feel really sad when I read your words, because I can sense your deep pain. You desperately want to leave, but there is some kind of force keeping you by his side and preventing you from leaving. But don't worry! You can leave. You just need to find the strength to do it.

Say yes!

Boys want to have physical contact with you from the first meeting. I can feel from your words that you don't want to, and I don't want to is disrespectful. Without a doubt, since they don't respect you, why not move on to something better?

Their thoughts are their thoughts, and your thoughts are your thoughts — and that's a good thing!

Nowadays, many self-media or texts that you can access say that this is what guys think: if they are not given access, it means they don't like the guy or... Everyone is like this, so you have to be like this. In fact, this is not the case. You have the power to be brave and say no, because you are an individual with independent thinking!

Their thoughts cannot represent your thoughts — and that's a good thing!

You know what? They weigh the pros and cons and then they abandon you. But you know what else? You can't let go!

My friend, I'm excited to hear more about your experience with boys in real life! Do you have very little contact with them, or just a few opportunities to come into contact with them?

Did your father also rarely impart knowledge in this area to you? You feel that if you let go of him, you won't be able to find a better guy. You think that all guys are the same as him, but that's actually not the case. You just haven't found the right guy for you yet – and you will!

You are one-of-a-kind. You are an angel!

It's not your fault that he got angry when you wouldn't let him touch you. You did the right thing!

He ignored your feelings and touched your body, saying it was a test of obedience. You just made him angry. You rejected him, and it's not your fault. It's his issue, not yours. Your issue is already rejecting him. Your rejection is protecting yourself from doubting your subconscious or conscious. It's not your fault. You're justifiably defending your own interests, and you're doing a great job!

It's not your fault! You don't need to apologize to him. You don't need to say you're sorry. It's his fault. It's his problem.

A relationship is a bond that should be based on mutual respect and consideration for the other person. It is important to be mindful of the so-called obedience test, which can sometimes be used as an excuse to cover up the other person's less desirable behavior.

If he truly respects you, he will consider your feelings. If he loves you, he will not excuse his behavior in this way, nor will he behave rudely towards you.

If you do not cooperate or refuse to participate in this kind of test, and he chooses to abandon you, it may be a sign that he does not consider you important. You may have listened to what he said, but it may be because you have not fully recognized his character and have not seen his true nature.

Your current fantasies about him make you think that he is a good person, that you are a good match, and that you can expect to be happy with him. However, it's possible that he may not respect you as much as you deserve and that he might make excuses for his behavior, which might prevent him from being the person you need him to be to make you happy.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider whether you would still be willing to stay with him if you fully understood this.

It is my belief that someone who truly cares about you and respects you will not behave rudely towards you, nor will they make excuses for themselves. They will respect your feelings, care about your needs, and strive to make you happy.

It would be beneficial to strive for a healthy, equal, and mutually respectful way of communicating and getting along with each other in a relationship.

It might also be helpful to consider that knowledge of psychology can assist in understanding and dealing with such situations. For instance, knowledge of the power balance in relationships, self-esteem, and emotional management can help to protect oneself, identify unhealthy relationship patterns, and make appropriate decisions.

In addition, it is important to believe in our own value and to insist on respecting and loving ourselves. A relationship based on mutual respect and equality is the best foundation for achieving happiness and satisfaction.

It might be helpful to consider that fantasies of love can sometimes distract us from choosing a partner who is healthy, respectful, and caring.

In the field of psychology, interpersonal relationships play an important role. By gaining a deeper understanding of the motives, interaction patterns, and psychological needs in interpersonal relationships, we can gain insight into why some people may act in ways that are disrespectful to others, or why some people may be influenced by the actions of others.

The phenomenon of the obedience test can be explained in terms of some concepts in psychology. Stanley Milgram's famous experiment revealed that people often obey instructions in the face of authority, even if these instructions go against personal moral values.

It is possible that this psychological phenomenon may lead some people to abuse their power or behave disrespectfully towards others by using methods such as the "submission test" to verify the loyalty and obedience of their partners.

It is also worth noting that one's self-concept and self-esteem, as understood in psychological terms, can have a significant bearing on one's interpersonal relationships. A healthy self-concept and positive self-esteem can serve as a foundation for the establishment of good interpersonal relationships, and may also assist in the protection of one's interests when faced with disrespectful behavior.

If a person lacks self-esteem or has a low sense of self-worth, they may be more susceptible to being hurt by the disrespectful behavior of others. It is possible that they may even continue to tolerate disrespectful treatment in an unhealthy relationship.

It would be beneficial for us to work on improving our self-awareness, enhancing our self-esteem, and learning to set clear bottom lines and principles in a romantic relationship. By doing so, we can help to ensure that our relationship is healthy and equal.

It is also important to learn to distinguish between true care and respect for the actions of others, so as not to be deceived by appearances and thus be hurt.

When choosing a romantic partner, it may be helpful to consider factors beyond mere attraction. Paying attention to a person's character, attitude, and the way they treat others can also be valuable. A romantic relationship based on mutual respect, trust, and understanding has the potential to last a long time and bring true happiness and satisfaction.

It would be wise to remember that it is important to cherish and protect oneself, and to choose someone who truly respects and cares for you, when in a relationship.

Hello. I'm a heart detective coach with years of experience. I'm honored to give you advice.

You were tested in this relationship. You are now realizing why.

When you were in love, you probably didn't realize this problem. Instead, you felt he was doing the right thing and trusted him.

If you were thinking this at the time, then it's possible the other person was using this obedience test to align your thoughts with his. He would use these test contents to influence your thoughts, similar to PUA.

You've separated from him, right?

I support your decision. When you first met him, he wanted to have sex with you. Even before you confirmed the relationship, he kept trying to have sex with you.

You felt uncomfortable.

You're expressing this experience, which is mindfulness. You're aware of his motives, which are impure.

A man and woman meeting for the first time will be shy. Even an older man will respect the woman and want to get to know her better.

Which interaction can you both accept? You'll clash, then decide together whether to continue.

A romantic relationship is not one-sided. The guy you met wants to take the lead and has had a lot of physical contact with you. This is wrong.

This person uses tests, physical contact, and verbal pressure to make you feel like you did something wrong.

Has he always done this? Is it what I said?

You said you were confused when your partner told you he was testing your obedience. After you broke up, you still wanted to get back together. He ultimately abandoned you. Instead of blaming him, you understood him.

This shows there is a lot of seductive behavior in his words. He is able to capture your kindness and sincerity. Your lack of understanding of the content of his tests makes you obey him.

If we take the obedience test literally, it means a person has to obey another person to pass. The test may include some of his words and deeds, ways of speaking, and actions to see if you can accept them.

If you understand him well, do you think he's looking for the right partner for himself? He has his own way of screening romantic partners.

You're looking at it from a kind perspective.

Good intentions are fine, but it's important to be self-aware. You feel uncomfortable.

This is a sign of disrespect.

A man should seek a woman's opinion verbally, not touch her or make decisions without her consent.

I think there are still things you don't want to share about your past with him. You might still feel confused and guilty.

You can do this by going through the content above and writing down your questions and confusion. Click on my personal homepage to ask me questions.

Analyze your current state of mind.

I look forward to hearing from you and wish you well.

Dear questioner, My name is Duo Duo Lian, and I hope my reply can be of help to you.

It's not disrespectful to test each other step by step when the relationship is still uncertain. Encounters between people are also predestined. That's why some people fall in love at first sight, while others hate each other. It's based on feelings. People have spirituality.

Men are born with the instinct to conquer the opposite sex, and it is also a way for them to court. When they first meet, it is indeed a bit abrupt and impulsive, and there are reasons for it. This is also the behavior of the other person. You can refuse and also protect yourself.

People tend to have certain expectations based on traditional thinking. When these aren't met, it can be confusing. There's often a lack of guidance on how to interact with others, so people often move forward by trial and error.

You can express your thoughts and take responsibility for yourself. How the other person treats you is related to the relationship between the introducer and you, how they describe you, their level of understanding, and also your response. His behavior is sometimes influenced by mutual attraction.

In relationships, men want to be appreciated by the opposite sex. They'll actively attack the one they like, which is their way of courtship. As a woman, you can also choose and test the limits of the opposite sex.

So, why did I want to reconcile with the other person when he told me he was conducting an "obedience test"? The other person weighed the pros and cons and abandoned me. I understand his situation and actions, but why? You already know the answer; you just want to be sure. This is the experience of life.

Truth has the greatest power. You can tell from the other person's words whether it's what you want. Problems aren't problems. How you approach problems is really important. You also want to keep exploring, and there will be setbacks. It's okay. Life is about growing through experience and breaking through difficulties. Do you agree?

Everything that happens has two sides. Looking on the bright side also protects you. First, believe in yourself. You also attract others. We cannot control what others do. We give ourselves the right to choose. Acting before thinking is also a way of showing others how to do things.

Some people attract unsavoury characters time and time again, without any obvious reason. They give others opportunities, look down on themselves, and let the other person take advantage of the situation. They don't reflect on their actions, even though they know the other person isn't right for them. They make their lives unbearable and create a pattern of failure.

Having more options is better than putting in more effort. Best of luck!