Work is painful, but I don't know how to tell my partner's family, whether I should quit immediately.

Hello, I see you.

From your description, it seems that your work has become something you dislike. It might be helpful to focus on taking better care of your emotional and mental health.

It seems that the primary benefit you derive from your current position is the respect you receive from your in-laws. Could this role help you to withstand some of the external pressures you face?

It is undeniable that this is indeed one of the meanings of work. However, it would be beneficial to consider that there could be other meanings to work and other possibilities in life.

You mentioned that people around you told you, "You're getting married, you can't be unemployed." I'm wondering if someone else told you that, or if it was your own voice.

From your description, it seems that you may have a tendency to feel unworthy and self-depreciating at times. For instance, you appear to be comparing your work with that of his parents, which could potentially lead to feelings of inadequacy. Additionally, you seem to feel inferior because you work in a private company and are afraid of being asked about your work after leaving the company. It's understandable that work can become a significant source of identity and security, especially when it's tied to maintaining a positive image and providing an explanation within the family.

If I might be so bold, I would gently suggest that, were I in your situation, I would be reluctant to advise you to quit your job. It is, after all, a significant decision that requires a great deal of courage. From what you have told me, you may not yet have the courage you need to make it.

Have you had a chance to talk this over with your husband? I'm wondering what his thoughts are on the matter.

We may all encounter problems in our career development. Perhaps it would be helpful to discuss them together, support each other, and find solutions together. You carried the burden yourself this time, but it might be beneficial to consider how you would handle it if you had to do so alone in the future.

From what you've shared about your work, it seems like you're looking for a more stable position. It's understandable that you might feel like others will judge you if you don't have a more secure job.

It is possible that other people may have a different perspective. Some people may even perceive instability as a form of vitality.

We gently suggest that you have an open and honest conversation with your partner about your feelings and thoughts. Your concerns are completely understandable. It is also important for a new family to learn to work through problems together.

We hope that the above perspective will be helpful to you. Best regards!

Hello, host.

I'm here to help, and I'd appreciate your feedback.

From reading the question description, it's clear the poster is anxious and helpless. I'm going to give them a warm hug.

Before answering the original poster's question, we must first define two concepts: fact judgment and value judgment. A fact judgment is straightforward. If you ask how tall you are, we can measure it and provide an answer.

Value judgments are not objective. For example, if I say you are too tall, that is a value judgment.

This is a value judgment because the standard for tallness is different for everyone.

Our answers are based on our understanding, experience, and values. The perspective, direction, and train of thought of the answers are for the poster to consider. The poster should not take our answers as the standard answer.

The Stoic classification of things identifies three categories. One is the will of heaven, such as when it snows. Even if we are unhappy about it, we must accept it.

Another type of thing is what we call other people's business. In this kind of situation, we can give others advice and feedback, but the final decision is theirs to make. As the saying goes, I can lead a horse to water, but I can't make it drink.

There is also a category of things that are our own business. That is to say, we can decide for ourselves what time to go to bed, what to wear, and so on.

Ultimately, it is your decision whether or not to resign. However, it is important to consider the potential impact on your husband's family. Ultimately, it is your decision.

You need to think clearly about why you want to resign. Is it because of your ability, your interpersonal relationships, or something else? If you resign here, will it be easy to find your next job, or will you have the same problems?

If you're struggling with your ability, the most important thing is to improve it. If you're facing interpersonal challenges, it's not about finding a better leader, it's about understanding the situation and working through it. These are things that require attention, not just resignation.

Quitting your job will make you weaker inside and prevent you from having a say in your marriage. It's clear from your question that you've always imagined things that never actually happened. Marriage means taking on responsibilities for each other, and you should have discussed this with your husband.

When communicating with your partner's family, be honest about your feelings and explain that work pressure has affected your physical and mental health, and that you need to make adjustments. They will understand.

I am confident that this will be helpful. I am eager to be seen, to receive feedback from the host and anyone else who is interested, and to receive attention and praise.

Hello! I'm thrilled to answer your question and hope my suggestions will be helpful.

I'm excited to answer your question because it gives me a chance to talk about two main directions.

And then there's our own life direction and career development plan!

Another is how we get along with our spouse and family. From a romantic relationship to a marriage, we have entered a new stage of life. How do we adjust to this change in status and get along with our partner and manage our lives together? This is also a question of family management—and it's an exciting one!

First of all, when it comes to our work, it's essential to understand the order of our important people.

The first one is definitely ourselves, because this job is ours! We get to decide what we want to gain and lose from this work process. We also get to decide how our careers will develop, which is related to the progress of our lives. This part of the autonomy is definitely in our own hands, and at most it is in the hands of the employer. We have the power to decide whether we lose our jobs or if there is the possibility of promotion!

Second, our partner is an invaluable resource because our work involves our financial situation, and our financial situation may affect our family's financial situation. For example, whether it can be used as a family supplement or to solve the major family expenses, such as mortgage and car loans. Therefore, our partner may have some suggestions or the right to intervene, but it is only a suggestion that needs to be considered through objective reality. For example, if our family member is in poor health and our mortgage and car loans are very expensive, it is not suitable for either spouse to lose their job and income within a short period of time. Therefore, as a partner, they may hope that there is no possibility of unemployment, or there is not too much of a gap, and they can accept such suggestions, because this is indeed a problem that we need to face as a young couple. However, for other reasons, we need to judge whether it is reasonable to accept them based on our own situation, and we'll find the best solution together!

Third, your parents (if you are not married, your parents are naturally the second consideration) because our financial situation will affect our own lives. For example, if we lose our jobs, we will naturally worry about food and clothing, and this will affect our health. Our parents will definitely worry about us, so they will also give us some advice and considerations, for example, not being able to work will affect your marriage or single life. It will affect an economic issue, and even the issue of having a say in the family, so they will hope that you can have a job and a stable income to give you a certain basic protection. Then such a suggestion, we can naturally and reasonably listen to and accept.

Finally, our friends, our best girlfriends, or close friends, the advice they give us is always from our perspective. They think about it and consider it, and it's so beneficial to us! For example, as good friends, they are actually like half of the family. They want you to have a certain degree of security in life and not lose a certain amount of say in your in-laws' household. At this time, they will consider your situation and advise you that a woman must have her own job!

But we won't just stand there and say nothing. If your work has already affected your physical or emotional health, but you are still being told not to quit, then that is completely unreasonable. Instead, we will say that this job has already hurt you, and naturally you need to find another job. We will completely put ourselves in your shoes, so that you can have a job and also be happier and more comfortable at work, rather than making you suffer and hold it in.

Guess what! There's no mention of the in-laws at all! It's simple. What can the in-laws have to do with oneself?

I know it sounds a bit gross, but stick with me! If we ever divorce our husbands, this couple (in-laws) has nothing to do with us. There's no blood relationship, no social relationship. But here's the cool part: if we have children in the future, we might still be half-relatives because of the kids. And who knows—we might even be distant relatives!

The words and advice of such two people are equally feasible and profitable!

If we do meet a good set of parents-in-law, who treat us like their own children or treat us like any other family member, and who give us objective and reasonable advice and enlighten us with their life experience, so that we can avoid making mistakes in life, then that is indeed beneficial to us! Their life experience is far above ours, and we can use it as a very beneficial reference to make our work and life development better and better. We can also avoid making some detours!

But here's the thing: their advice might actually be beneficial to their biological children. Some in-laws may say, "Since you quit your job and don't look for a job, just stay at home and take care of your husband and children, and you can get pregnant."

It's also possible that they'll compromise you for the sake of their face or the face of their family. They'll say that this job is more decent and that you should stick to it. But here's the thing: they're not thinking about you at all. They're not considering whether you'll be wronged or unfairly blamed at work. They're not thinking about whether your boss will give you a hard time. They're just thinking about saving face in social interactions with others.

This is a great way to help them build their social life! If their work is related to ours, or if their relatives' work or social circles are related to our work circles, and we have this job that can potentially bring them some benefits, then we're on to a winner!

At times like this, it's important to remember that this advice isn't always the best for us. So why not focus on saving our own faces and let others save theirs?

For you right now, we have the exciting opportunity to sort out the essence of the two issues we mentioned above, how our outlook on life should develop, and how our own family should proceed. This family refers to your small family with your husband. How should you get along?

Your husband's old views have never been on your radar because he's a mama's boy who's always listened to his parents-in-law. So, we don't need to worry about what he thinks. Instead, we can focus on the thoughts of his parents-in-law, which are probably pretty similar to his own.

Or, even better, our husbands are on the same side as us! As young people and lovers, they understand our dilemmas and conflicts very well and will think for us. We don't have to worry about how to deal with our parents-in-law, because our husbands will help us explain or clarify the situation to avoid any embarrassment or difficulties for us.

So, the key now is for us to think about our own views on career development, starting from within ourselves. Do we want to keep this job? The possibilities are endless! We can either look for another job while still employed, or simply take a short break and find a new job after resigning.

And the best part is, we can communicate with our partners in a timely manner to tell them our work plans. In the process, we can also listen to our husbands' feelings and thoughts before making any decisions.

I really hope that through self-reflection and continuous communication with your husband, you can find your own answers and confirm your own life course and career development!

The great news is that neither will affect your career plan nor the family expenses of daily life!

I love you, world! And I love you, too!

It is important to understand the concept of emptiness analysis.

I'm sorry to hear about your current situation. I understand the reasons for your stress and anxiety, especially when dealing with the pressures of two important aspects of your life, work and marriage.

First and foremost, you need to consider your physical and mental health. If your job is causing you to feel overly stressed and depressed, you should quit.

Make sure you assess your financial situation and future plans before making a decision. You need to ensure you have sufficient financial support and options.

You must decide when to leave. There is no right or wrong answer. Talk to your partner. Tell them about your situation and feelings.

They will be able to understand your situation and offer you help and support. If you feel that leaving before the Lantern Festival would cause too much disruption to your family interactions with your partner, you should come back and make a decision then.

Remember, it is crucial to consider your feelings and needs. Don't let expectations or social pressures influence your decision.

Make no mistake: marriage is an important decision. But you must be in a state of physical and mental health when you make it. Only then can you create a stable and happy future for yourself and your partner.

Seek professional counseling or help if you feel unable to handle your emotions and stress. A professional mental health professional can provide appropriate support and guidance, and help you better cope with difficult situations.

Finally, be kind to yourself. Give yourself time and space to process your emotions and make decisions that are right for you. You will find peace and happiness.