Workday emotional labor is exhausting, and I feel tired after work. How do I get out of it?

Good day. My name is Ying Keyu Xuan, and I empathize with your situation.

You invest considerable passion and patience in your work, yet when you interact with a client who is in a disagreeable mood and vents their emotions on you, you are unable to disengage from the negative emotions they leave behind after work. Consequently, you experience depressive symptoms when you face work again. I am aware that this is a challenging situation for you, and I am sending you a supportive embrace from afar.

It is imperative to recognize that emotional energy is a valuable resource that must be allocated in the workplace. Individuals who are able to maintain a positive emotional state will experience a boost in motivation and productivity. Conversely, those who are experiencing a depletion of emotional energy may find themselves facing challenges in maintaining their motivation and resilience.

Please elucidate the methods I employ to address these low emotional energies.

I am a high school mathematics teacher and part-time school counselor. The act of teaching mathematics can be likened to a bedtime story for students who lack a solid foundation in the subject. Some students may even fall asleep if they are unable to keep up with the pace of the lesson.

The educational institution has a policy that prohibits students from sleeping on the premises. In the event that a monitor observes a student asleep, the teacher on duty is responsible for notifying the classroom teacher in the respective work group. This is the reason why I am most concerned about the student who merely wakes up and falls asleep again in the classroom. Each time I have to outwit a sleeping student, it requires a significant expenditure of my energy.

Another area of focus is the provision of psychological counseling to students exhibiting depressive or anxious moods. This work also requires a significant investment of energy. On a particular morning, I was required to provide psychological counseling to three students and subsequently document the counseling process. Following this, I experienced a sense of having expended all my energy, yet in the afternoon I still had to attend class with full energy and enthusiasm.

To avoid the depletion of energy that can result from work-related stress, I allot a period of relaxation after work, typically half an hour to an hour. During this time, I engage in activities that promote relaxation, such as listening to music, reading, exercising, cooking, or going for a walk in the park. These free and immersive activities facilitate the release of pent-up emotions.

If work-related emotions are not released in a timely manner, they can intensify and become increasingly distressing. In such instances, it can be beneficial to seek support from loved ones, such as parents or close friends. By confiding in these individuals and receiving their love and assistance, the pressure and fatigue associated with work-related emotions can be alleviated, facilitating better coping mechanisms.

I focus on my accomplishments and capabilities, appreciate the growth of a flower, engage in philanthropic endeavors, and maintain an optimistic outlook. As psychological resilience increases, individuals can effectively address the challenges associated with diverse emotions.

It is my hope that my modest contribution will prove beneficial. I am of the opinion that one can conquer the fatigue that results from work and embrace one's natural disposition.

I encourage you to persevere. The world and I support you.

Hello. I'm grateful to have met you. I want to give you a hug.

At work, you have to take a lot of customer calls. Your job requires you to answer them enthusiastically and patiently. You remember a saying on the internet: "The customer has abused me a million times, but I treat the customer as if it were my first love." Recently, customers have expressed a lot of negative emotions on the phone through you. You feel uncomfortable, but you have to put up with them because of your job. Even though you feel angry, you still reply to the customers gently.

You feel aggrieved, helpless, powerless, at a loss, and angry. You want comfort, support, understanding, and help.

I understand. I was in a similar situation, so I know how you felt.

You just want to answer customer calls, but things don't always go as planned. Customers use the phone to vent, and what was originally a simple work communication has become a channel for emotional venting. This is not your fault, but you bear all of it.

First, you're responsible at work. You can stay calm and professional even when someone is angry. Second, you're aware of your emotions. Good for you.

If a customer vents their emotions on you, you accommodate them, but you can't handle so much negative emotion. There is a limit to how much emotion you can accommodate. When you reach that limit, you will feel uncomfortable.

Emotions can also spread. When you're on the phone with a customer, you hear their tone, inflection, and content. You listen carefully, afraid of missing important information. You and the customer are "together," but it's a "negative togetherness."

If you don't deal with negative emotions, they'll keep building up. You'll still have them on your mind after work, and you won't have any energy for socializing.

Can you tell your boss which customers are likely to use the customer hotline to vent? This could help reduce the number of calls. Or, do you think you could take a few days off?

If you can't change the situation, start with yourself. When you get a call to vent, how do you feel?

Sometimes you feel irritable and agitated. You feel aggrieved and want to cry or shout at the other person. The other person gives you different things, and that brings you different feelings.

These bad feelings are building up and blocking you.

We can't change others, but we can change ourselves.

1. When you get such customers, ignore them or hang up.

2. Take a meditation break during your lunch and before bed.

3. Exercise makes you feel happy.

4. Find a counselor for emotional support.

I hope this helps and you find relief soon.

I love you, world.

Hello. I am Bai Li Yina, and I am confident that my response will provide you with warmth and help.

The questioner revealed that they still have to remain calm and respond politely even when dealing with customers who vent their emotions. However, the negative emotions accumulated at work have affected your daily life, and you are so tired that you don't even have the energy to maintain normal social interactions. You need to find a way out of this predicament.

[Situation analysis]

From your description, I see a very dedicated and conscientious person. You have high expectations for your work, and it's not easy remaining calm and polite when dealing with an impolite customer. I empathize with your fatigue and injustice, and I want to give you a warm hug.

[Suggested questions for further thought]

1. What keeps you going in the face of these rude customers? Is it the prospect of career advancement?

Is it just a matter of professionalism? What happens if you refuse to deal with such rude customers or if you don't give them emotional value?

2. Tell me how you dealt with this situation before. How do you relieve stress?

3. Apart from feeling tired, do you have any other emotions after work? Tell me.

Do you feel like you're being treated unjustly? Are you in pain?

4. Is socializing a burden for you, or is it one of the ways to relax?

[Recommended methods to try]

1. We all face different work pressures and receive different negative emotions, but we can all relieve stress in different ways. Find the way that suits you. It could be chatting with friends, finding an open space to yell, venting negative energy through exercise, or even just sitting quietly and daydreaming while drinking tea. Repression can cause harm to your body, and expressing emotions is a skill that we must all have.

2. What is your goal when you go to work? Do you just want to do your job well, or do you work with the expectation that a good performance will lead to a promotion?

You can still persevere despite feeling so tired. There must be a good reason for you to do so. Think about the original intention that made you persevere. Use it as a driving force and support within you.

3. Determine whether the customer's negative emotion is directed at you. If it is not, provide reasonable emotional feedback.

"I understand your distress and can feel your anger at this moment, but I want to be clear that the person who caused this is not me. At present, I have done my best to help you solve it. I expect you to calm down and we will communicate well to solve the problem as soon as possible." A reasonable expression may reduce some of your sense of grievance and depression.

4. When you feel extremely tired and don't want to do anything, you need to rest. Sleep is often a miraculous cure. You can also choose to listen to soothing music, soak your feet, drink a glass of milk before going to bed, etc.

Relax. Forget about everything. Do the things you like.

I am confident that the above methods will help you.

You will get through this. It will take time and patience, but you will get through it. Don't worry or be afraid. Many people are experiencing or have experienced similar problems, and you will get through this too.

The world and I are with you. You are not alone. I am certain that you will find your own most comfortable state soon.

I appreciate those who have liked and commented on my posts. I wish you peace and joy.

Good morning. I would like to take this opportunity to commend you on your excellent work. Despite the challenging circumstances, you have demonstrated remarkable resilience in maintaining control of your emotions, maintaining a stable state of mind, and responding politely.

Negative emotions can have a detrimental impact on our energy levels. Just as a counselor can only handle a few cases at a time, we also have a limit to how long we can remain in the negative emotional state of the person confiding in us.

It is therefore important to distinguish between our professional and personal lives. After work, we should be free to pursue our own interests, enjoy a healthy diet, exercise, read, and avoid dwelling on work-related issues.

It is important to enjoy the positive aspects of life.

Secondly, we can exercise our direct approach and handle complaints effectively. When a customer calls with a complaint about work, we must be straightforward.

The customer's concerns are primarily related to business or company matters, and our role is to simply receive and process the information. We are not the direct target of their issues.

By separating issues, we can maintain resilience in the face of negative emotions.

Finally, it is important to acknowledge and release negative emotions. One effective method is boxing, which can help release pent-up frustration and stress.

Only then can you better receive energy and slowly recharge yourself. I encourage you, question owner, to recognize your strengths.

Hello, I'm Phil, and I hope I can offer you some support in the form of a warm hug.

I'm truly sorry that you had to go through that.

From your description, it seems that

It would be beneficial for you to answer a large number of customer calls at work, remain enthusiastic and patient, and respond to whatever complaints the customer raises.

In the past month, you have had the unfortunate experience of dealing with customers in a bad mood, who have vented their emotions at you. It is commendable that you have remained calm and polite at all times.

As a result, I find that I still have a lot of negative emotions after work, which makes it difficult for me to relax. The challenging emotions from work also make it challenging for me to maintain social connections outside of work.

Could I perhaps inquire as to how you might find a way out of this state?

From your description, it seems that you are not only a responsible person, but also someone who is self-aware and has high expectations of themselves, especially in terms of the things you need to pay attention to and the state you need to maintain when working.

It would seem that many people who work in customer service often find themselves in situations that are not ideal. They may be relatively casual, or they may put themselves in a confusing situation, or they may simply adopt a passive approach.

For instance, some customer service representatives may inadvertently keep you in circles and engage in a game of Tai Chi, while others may become irritable and even raise their voice, or may subconsciously start to feel anxious.

It might be helpful to remind yourself that even in such situations, maintaining a smile, choosing your words carefully, and responding reasonably to the other party can be beneficial.

I have also faced challenges in protecting my rights and encountered similar difficulties. I admire your courage in speaking up and seeking resolution.

I have also heard some rumors that customer service is available 24/7 to listen to and help with any issue, no matter how big or small.

It is understandable that many people believe this approach and try it themselves. However, it is important to recognize that this behavior can be draining for customer service staff who are already working hard to provide excellent service. It can also potentially limit the ability of other customers who truly need assistance from customer service to get the help they require.

If I might offer my advice in this situation, I hope it will be of some help.

If I might make a suggestion, I believe that it would be helpful to distinguish a clear boundary for the customers you receive, classify them accordingly, and try to treat them differently.

It might be helpful to distinguish a clear boundary for the customers you receive, classify them accordingly, and try to treat them differently.

As an example, a common classification could be:

1. Notification:

It would be greatly appreciated if you could kindly refrain from sending unilateral notifications and definitive inquiries from your side. These include inquiries such as how much phone credit is left, whether something has been signed for, and other simple interactions. Even communication that is equivalent to no interaction would be greatly appreciated.

2. General feedback:

The other party called to inquire about something, and you normally explained something back and forth in a calm and collected manner, without any particularly stubborn or quarrelsome behavior, and no arguments were detected.

For instance, a customer may call 10086 customer service to inquire about a charge on their phone bill. The customer service representative may explain that the charge is for a value-added service or part of a package the customer has subscribed to, or that they have exceeded their data allowance. The representative may then suggest that the customer cancel the service or ignore the charge and move on to the next step of communication.

3. Handling special requests:

The most direct type of situation is when customers express dissatisfaction with the delivery company or the merchant's goods. This could be with Taobao customer service, Meituan delivery, Ele.me platform customer service, or other similar services.

It is possible that the customer may become upset or speak in an urgent, anxious tone, regardless of the nature of the matter. This could be the case if the customer feels that their interests have been offended or if they feel that the other party is not meeting their expectations.

It would be helpful to remember that the other person is upset about what has happened and would appreciate being informed as soon as possible, in a clear and detailed manner, about how things have come to this and how they can be resolved. It is important not to take on any of their emotions or blame.

4. The type of random phone calls is generally considered to fall under point 4.

As I mentioned above, some people are just in a bad mood and make a random phone call. It's unfortunate that the customer service representative who receives the call may be subjected to a negative experience. Some people may feel inclined to express their frustration with the company in a way that affects the customer service representative on the other end of the line.

In such instances, it is advisable to ensure that the call is concluded as smoothly and amicably as possible, without further provocation, to allow the other party the opportunity to take the initiative and end the call.

I would like to suggest that you make good use of the platform mechanism and company mechanism. Every customer service interaction is automatically recorded and synchronized in the WeChat group and the work record website and platform.

It is of the utmost importance to retain any pertinent evidence and to promptly inform your supervisor or team leader of the situation after you have concluded the phone call. Should you be personally affected and find the situation overwhelming, you may also consider applying for a temporary leave of absence or a transfer of position and time, if necessary.

2. It is important to recognize that socializing is not a necessity, and there are numerous ways to engage in social interactions.

It is worth noting that in our current lives, there are a multitude of ways to socialize. Some of these are offline gatherings, while others are online interactions. When a person feels tired and is not inclined to socialize, they have the option of going home, resting, playing with their pet, eating, or taking a walk. These activities can all be considered part of one's social or private life, and there is no obligation to connect with others.

3️⃣ Be mindful of your physical and mental health. If you feel the need to take leave, transfer, or rest, or even see a doctor, please do so.

I hope my answer is helpful to you.

I hope this message finds you well. I just wanted to say that I love you and the world.

Hello, questioner!

At work, I have the amazing opportunity to answer a lot of customer calls and remain enthusiastic and patient. This is indeed not an easy thing to do, but I love it!

It's totally normal to feel negative emotions sometimes!

I've had a little experience of this in the past two days, and I'm excited to share it with you!

In the past, if there were emotions in customer communication, I would get very emotional too. Yesterday, a customer gave me a dressing-down without me having done anything.

I felt really uncomfortable. I hadn't done anything, and you just went off on me like that!

Once I'd calmed down, I had an epiphany! I realised that I have a victim mentality.

The customer has emotions, and they are his emotions. When he vents them at me, he is actually just letting off steam about his own emotions.

Before, I always took it on, thinking, "You have emotions. Why are you getting mad at me?" But now I know better!

Wow, when I calm down, I realize that he is actually just expressing his own emotions. It's just that I'm the one standing in front of him!

This description is not very clear, but it's still pretty cool! For example, there's this sentence: "A handsome guy is looking at his sweetheart through me."

That's probably how it felt! The customer was actually venting his emotions.

It seems like he's taking it out on me! In fact, he's just using me to discover his previous emotions, which have nothing to do with me.

And I got emotional because I thought he was taking it out on me!

If you can distinguish this and look at yourself from a third-person perspective, you'll feel so much more comfortable!

Hello, I'm Beric, and I'm thrilled to be here!

Emotional labor at work can indeed be very energy-intensive and lead to fatigue after work. But don't worry! There are plenty of strategies and methods from a psychological perspective that can help you get out of this state of exhaustion.

First, understand the nature of emotional labor. It's a fascinating process! Emotional labor refers to the process of managing one's emotions at work to meet work requirements or the needs of others.

This form of labor not only involves the consumption of cognitive resources, but it can also trigger emotional stress. Therefore, feeling tired after work is a natural reaction to emotional labor. But don't worry! There are ways to relieve this feeling of exhaustion.

Let's explore some strategies to relieve this feeling of exhaustion!

1. Cognitive restructuring: It's time to rethink emotional labor at work! See it as a valuable investment, not a waste of time. By changing our mindset, we can turn those negative feelings into positive energy and feel less exhausted.

2. Emotional regulation: Learn some amazingly effective emotional regulation techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, and relaxation training. These techniques can help us quickly adjust our emotional state and regain energy after work.

3. Social support: Share your experiences of emotional labor at work with family, friends, or colleagues and seek their understanding and support. They'll be happy to help! Social support can relieve emotional stress and reduce fatigue.

4. Self-care: Pay attention to your physical and mental health, and restore your energy through a reasonable diet, adequate sleep, and moderate exercise. At the same time, you should also learn to set boundaries at work and avoid over-investing emotional labor. It's time to take care of yourself! You've got this!

5. Develop hobbies: After work, treat yourself to some well-deserved fun! Devote time and energy to your favorite activities, such as reading, painting, music, etc. These hobbies can divert attention, relieve work stress, and improve the quality of your life.

In summary, there are so many ways to get out of the exhaustion caused by emotional labor at work! We can start from multiple aspects, including adjusting our mentality, learning emotional regulation skills, seeking social support, paying attention to self-care, and cultivating hobbies. Through these strategies and methods, we can gradually reduce the feeling of exhaustion, regain energy, and face work and life in a better state!

Wishing you all the best!

Good day, my name is Jane, and I am grateful for this opportunity to make your acquaintance.

From your description, it is evident that you have invested a considerable amount of effort into your work. The circumstances you have outlined are undoubtedly draining.

Given that work constitutes an integral aspect of our daily lives, it is imperative to elucidate our relationship with it.

What are your thoughts regarding your work?

As previously stated, the experience of negative energy at work is a primary contributor to feelings of exhaustion. The act of engaging in work itself entails the investment of energy and effort, which are then followed by a feedback loop. In the event of negative feedback, feelings of fatigue and depression may ensue. Conversely, when positive feedback is received, a sense of fulfillment and recharging may be experienced.

This is precisely why some individuals find fulfillment in their work, while others do not.

The question thus arises as to what can be done about it.

Firstly, it is important to recognise that our energy is finite and therefore we must ensure that we do not allow ourselves to become continually depleted. In the event that one's work environment is characterised by a pervasive negativity, it may be necessary to take action to protect one's own energy. If the option of leaving one's current position is not immediately available, it may be helpful to approach one's work with a degree of detachment in order to conserve one's energy. For instance, if one's customers emit negative energy, it may be beneficial to avoid empathising with them. Instead, one might choose to adopt the role of an actor, engaging with their behaviour and then disengaging, taking pride in one's ability to maintain a positive outlook.

Following the conclusion of the workday, it is essential to engage in activities that replenish one's energy. These may include reading a book in a tranquil bookstore, dining at a restaurant, or engaging in other leisure activities.

It is important to recognize that we are all ordinary individuals. When experiencing negative emotions at work, it is crucial to acknowledge that these feelings are valid. It is not possible to maintain a detached and impassive demeanor at work; such an approach may even be perceived as unprofessional. It is essential to differentiate between the tasks at hand and the emotional aspects associated with them. While it is not our responsibility to manage the emotional states of our customers, we do have a duty to complete the assigned tasks effectively and efficiently.

It is important to learn how to distinguish between issues. The emotional responses of customers are a matter for them alone and have no bearing on our own actions. It is therefore necessary for us to take the initiative and address these issues ourselves.

One may choose to determine whether it is feasible to elucidate the issue to the customer and then proceed with one's own tasks.

In conclusion, it is advisable to avoid allowing one's work to become a mere consumable. It is important to maintain one's autonomy and to refrain from concerning oneself with the affairs of others.

It is imperative to prioritize one's own emotional well-being.

It is my sincere hope that this response has been of some assistance to you.

I wish you the utmost success in your endeavors and hope that your work is both fruitful and that you remain in good health.

When I go to work, I answer a lot of customer calls. I remain enthusiastic and patient, no matter what kind of complaint the customer makes.

Your work involves contact with many different types of people and requires a lot of emotional feedback from customers. This makes your work state very cumbersome and requires a lot of mental energy.

However, in the past month, I have often been approached by customers in a bad mood, and I have remained calm and polite in response. As a result, I still feel a lot of negative emotions after work, and I can't relax. The depressing emotions from work also leave me with no energy to maintain extra social connections. I need to get out of this state.

It is essential to be aware of our emotional state and life situation in a timely manner.

The nature of our work causes us to accumulate a lot of emotions that we cannot release. This affects our daily lives, personal emotions, and prevents us from completing our work successfully.

We are currently experiencing burnout at work. It is essential that we make timely adjustments to improve our work environment and enhance our comfort level.

Seek timely assistance from professionals to regulate your emotional state and find new aspects of work that enhance your self-motivation.

We can and should learn some methods of regulating emotions. When we have emotional burdens at work, we can and should take deep breaths to calm our emotions.

In our daily lives, we must also try meditation or exercise to relax our mental state.

When we have the mental energy to do so, we should seek out friends and trusted people with whom we can release some emotions (venting, chatting, and companionship).

Seek the help of a listening therapist or psychological counselor in the near future to regulate your emotions and find a way to express your emotions that suits you.

If your job allows, take a vacation. You need to rest your body and mind to refresh your mental state.

Dear question asker,

From your description of the challenges you're facing at work, I can relate to the experience of a friend of mine who also works in customer service. I can empathize with the difficulties of having to answer a lot of customer calls and the importance of maintaining patience and enthusiasm in that role.

I'd like to share a method that my friend has found helpful.

It can be helpful to connect with others. You might consider talking to a trusted friend or even a stranger from time to time. When you feel that your mental pressure is too great to bear, it can be beneficial to find someone to talk to immediately and let out your emotions.

P.S. My friend and I have a common sister group, and she vents in the group from time to time. Initially, some of the sisters were not used to it, and my friend felt a bit aggrieved and not fully accepted.

In the group chat, I suggested that she is only venting because she trusts us. If you feel that it is too negative, you can choose not to read her messages and not to receive her negative energy. If you happen to be in a good mood, you can respond briefly, and she will recover more quickly. Since then, my friend's way of venting in the group chat has improved. I can tell that she is venting, but I feel less affected.

Take some time for yourself: When you have a moment to yourself, close your eyes and meditate to connect with your body and mind. Affirm to yourself that the negativity of others does not reflect your own feelings, and that their bad moods are not your own.

And you might like to tell yourself: I work for work, and work is only a part of my life. When I get off work, I can be my true self again.

You might consider engaging in self-learning after work. You could, for instance, choose to read a paper book or participate in a reading club or course online. There are also many public accounts related to psychology where you can learn.

As we learn and grow, we have the opportunity to shift our perspectives and enhance our psychological resilience.

Finally, we have the option of engaging in offline social activities with friends or even strangers. By attentively listening to others, we can sometimes find that our own unpleasant experiences lose their hold on us.

I hope you can find a method that works for you and helps you live a better life.

I would like to extend my love and appreciation to the world and to you. ?

Hello! It's clear from your description that your work is very hard, especially when dealing with angry customers.

Dealing with negative emotions is part of life. They're normal at work, but they can also affect your health and relationships.

Here are some tips for managing negative emotions after work.

—Recognize and accept your emotions. Don't try to escape or deny them.

—Relax before leaving work. Do deep breathing, meditation, or simple stretching exercises.

— Share with friends and family. They can understand your situation and give you advice. They can also help you feel better.

—Do something you enjoy after work. This can help you relax and improve your quality of life.

— Stay healthy: Eat right, get enough sleep, and exercise. This helps your body and mind stay strong and helps you handle negative emotions better.

— Reflect on yourself and grow: review your work, identify why you feel negative, and find solutions. This helps you grow and deal with negative emotions.

—Seek help from a counselor if negative emotions persist. They can help you cope with them.

You can get out of a bad mood by recognizing your emotions, getting support, developing hobbies, and maintaining a healthy lifestyle. It can be hard to keep up with social relationships while working, but it's not impossible. Here are some ways to do it:

1. Make a plan: At the beginning of each week or month, decide who you want to contact and when.

This helps you make time for socializing.

2. Use short moments to connect with friends or family. Sending a quick text, sharing an article or photo can help.

3. Online interactions: Use social media, video calls, and other tools to stay in touch with friends and family who live far away. Online communication can help make up for a lack of face-to-face time.

4. Join activities to meet new people. These activities let you relax and meet like-minded people.

5. Cherish face-to-face time. When you can, get together with family and friends.

6. Be honest when you're busy and can't respond to someone's news or invitation.

This way, they'll understand and won't feel ignored.

7. Stay positive. Social relationships are important for your happiness. Try to stay positive and work hard to keep your social circle.

To keep social relationships strong, you need to plan, use your time wisely, interact online and in person, participate in activities, value face-to-face time, communicate honestly, and maintain a positive attitude.

I hope my sharing has been helpful. I am a listening coach, Deng Hong. I will listen to you. Talk to me.

Hello. I see what you're going through. Your work situation is causing you to take on too much negative energy from others. This has turned into negative emotions for you – tension, anger, resentment, depression...

You've got to let go of this negative energy if you want to feel good again. You need to learn how to release negative emotions.

1. Take a moment to identify your emotions and rate them.

Studies have shown that people who can identify their emotions can better regulate them and effectively reduce negative emotions. When an emotional crisis occurs, identify it: Is it anger, sadness, helplessness...? At the same time, rate the level of emotion on a scale of 0-10, how high is your emotional level?

Then tell your emotional self, "I see you and I understand you. I'm letting you stay in my body for a while."

Once you've identified and accepted the emotions in your body, they'll leave on their own. Emotions are like guests with bad tempers—they'll come and they'll go.

2. Use your breathing to regulate your inner energy.

When you notice yourself getting caught up in the emotional whirlpool, try slowing your breathing down and calming yourself down slowly.

Breathe in deeply and slowly release the air. Focus on your breathing for a few extra seconds.

You'll feel changes in your body, with tight muscles on the inbreath and a relaxed body on the outbreath. Repeat this a few times to help balance your inner energy and calm your emotions.

3. Restore your positive energy.

If you're feeling low on energy, it's likely to affect your mood too. So, it's a good idea to try to replenish your positive energy.

You might also want to find someone high-energy to share your emotions with. Or maybe you'd like to treat yourself to a nice meal or go shopping.

You can also get out into nature and spend some time with animals. Go for a walk in the sun, enjoy the scenery, and get a pet.

These are all ways to recharge your positive energy.

4. Give yourself permission to cry.

When we were babies, crying was the only way we knew how to express our emotions. Even when we grow up and learn to hide our vulnerability, our primitive instincts remain deep in our memories.

Our emotions are like a bouncy ball. When we can't suppress them any longer, they can get the better of us. At this point, it's good to find a safe place to let it all out, which can help to calm down and release negative emotions.

The psychiatry lab at Rush Medical Center in St. Paul, USA, found that negative emotions can be reduced by 40% after a person cries.

If you feel like crying because you're sad, don't try to hide it. Let yourself cry and let the tears take away the bad feelings inside you. After crying, you'll feel relaxed and comfortable.

I hope this helps. Let me know if you need anything else.

Dear question asker, I hope you can feel some warmth and support, and I also hope that my answer can be of some help to you.

It's challenging, and the job is rewarding, but it's also important to prioritize self-care and emotional well-being. At the same time, it's essential to maintain boundaries with regard to the emotions of our customers, recognizing that not everything they say is meant to be taken at face value. It's helpful to remember that their emotions are just that — their emotions, not yours. You don't have to engage with their emotions. When you're at work, it's more productive to focus on understanding their needs and addressing their problems without getting caught up in their emotions. This approach can make things easier. It's also beneficial to pay attention to releasing and transforming your own emotions in a timely manner, while maintaining a positive flow of energy at work.

If it is feasible for you, you might consider forming a supportive group with the intention of relieving stress and supporting one another on a weekly basis. It is my belief that empowerment can contribute to a sense of strength.

If I might offer you a suggestion, it would be this:

1. It is important to distinguish between the emotions of the customer and your own emotions. It is not necessary to take on the customer's emotions; you simply need to focus on the tasks at hand.

From your description, it seems that you may have become emotionally involved with your customers, which can make you feel burdened and exhausted. It's important to remember that those are their emotions, and it's not your fault that they have them. They may have projected their inner dissatisfaction and distress onto you. You can choose not to take on those emotions, which means not agreeing with them.

It is important to understand that everyone has emotions and that it is possible to allow them to have emotions, but it is also possible to choose not to agree with their emotions, let alone absorb them. For example, if someone rejects and attacks you, you have the option of responding in a similar manner. Additionally, when someone is in an emotional state, their words may seem irrational because their rationality is not online at that time. They may want to "fight," so they will be very aggressive. This is similar to when two people are arguing. They will say particularly vicious things, but when both have regained their rationality, they will generally regret saying those angry words. However, when someone is in an emotional state, they may not be able to control themselves because the prefrontal lobe is dormant and the rational brain is offline. This makes it challenging for us to express ourselves rationally.

It is therefore important to remember that when someone is expressing themselves emotionally, we should not take what they say too seriously. It is helpful to listen to their needs and to try to understand their demands in a reasonable way. However, we should not agree with the other person's attacks or bear their emotions. In the future, when you are working, you can remind yourself that those are just his emotions, not yours. Distinguishing his emotions from yours will make it easier.

2. It would be beneficial to develop the habit of promptly releasing emotions, and to avoid suppressing your own emotions. Instead, you could transform and release inner emotions in an effective way.

It is worth noting that our own emotions can sometimes be easily triggered by the emotions of customers. After all, people are emotional beings. It is therefore important to maintain emotional stability. In addition to distinguishing between what is the other person's emotion and what is your emotion, it may also be helpful to develop the habit of promptly releasing your own emotions. Only when our emotions remain fluid and our inner selves are not too suppressed can we maintain a relatively stable state.

For instance, you might consider setting aside half an hour each day for exercise. After work, you could go for a brisk half-hour run, play a game of ball, or go swimming. You might also think about setting aside half an hour each day to write. This could be a way of expressing all those repressed feelings and emotions inside you, which might help to relieve stress. You could also look for the right person to talk to, someone you trust, and tell them about your problems. This could really help to improve your mood. You might also like to try developing the habit of daily mindfulness meditation. Persistent meditation could improve our brain function, enhance the function of the prefrontal lobe, increase wisdom, and make our emotions more stable.

3. It may be helpful to form a supportive work group that can meet once a week to support and empower each other and relieve stress.

I believe that, in addition to you, other customer service staff in your company may also benefit from support and assistance. You may wish to consider forming a supportive work group, meeting once a week, discussing your respective problems, supporting and empowering each other, and relieving stress through group discussion. I would suggest the "Balint Group Growth" method, which can be used with a fixed group of seven people. Each week, after the warm-up, each member proposes a problem that has been troubling them recently, and then all members vote to select the problem they want to discuss that time. The selected member is called the "case owner," who can give details about their problem. Other members can also ask questions. Then, the case owner withdraws, and other members bring in the case and share how they would handle the problem in different roles. Finally, the case owner shares their gains and feelings from the experience.

In this way, a problem will be presented in a more three-dimensional image, and the solutions will become more diverse. Everyone has the opportunity to learn to look at problems from different perspectives. At the same time, talking things out can also relieve stress. Members support each other, which also brings warmth and strength to everyone. No matter what problems you have, you will not feel very stressed, but rather that you are not alone, but have a strong support system behind you nourishing you.

Please feel free to take these suggestions as you see fit. Wishing you well!

Good day, questioner.

Many office workers enter the workplace with high levels of energy but leave feeling exhausted. In some cases, they not only fail to gain experience, but they also lose emotional value.

Some people say that if you can't accept a little criticism, you have poor psychological tolerance. Others say that it's no big deal and that you should just get used to it. And still others say that if you don't experience the storm, how will you see the rainbow? I would say that you should grow up and learn to deal with criticism.

You are a rare find, with excellent professional qualities, a high level of conscientiousness and dedication, and a professional attitude.

The issues you face are, to some extent, a kind of work challenge. Given the nature of your work, you will inevitably encounter negative emotions. This requires you to deal with customer complaints in a professional manner, while negative emotions unrelated to work need to be blocked out.

It is important to remember that work and life are two distinct entities. We will always encounter unpleasant people or situations in both contexts.

In the event of an uncontrollable situation, it is essential to remain calm and in control. It is important to understand that the customer's behavior is not personal, but rather a reflection of their own circumstances.

Perform your duties in a satisfactory manner and refrain from taking irrelevant information personally.

Furthermore, as this is a work-related issue, it is advisable to utilise the appropriate workplace methods. You may wish to share your experiences with your colleagues or request assistance from your seniors (moderate job rotation).

It is crucial to demonstrate to your superiors that you are developing professionally.

Additionally, it is advisable to develop the habit of maintaining a mood diary to ensure awareness of and timely correction of emotions. Every challenge presents an opportunity for growth, and every obstacle can be surmounted.

The act of writing is a process of self-emotion management, and the capacity to identify and address negative emotions in a timely manner is a crucial skill.

Take control of your emotions and avoid becoming a scapegoat.

I hope this proves useful to you. Best regards, [Name]

Hello, questioner!

I'm Li Hongxia, a listening coach, and I'm here to help!

It's so inspiring to see how you handle customer demands at work! You remain enthusiastic and patient, maintain your emotional stability, and respond politely. It's clear you're responsible for yourself and your customers, and you're doing a great job of patiently solving their problems. However, it's important to recognize that customers with negative emotional problems can affect not just their own lives but also their social interactions. This can make them feel particularly tired and even anxious. So, let's take a moment to acknowledge that these customers might need a little extra support and understanding. By doing so, we can ensure they receive the care and attention they deserve, and they'll be more likely to have positive experiences with us.

Right now, give yourself a big, warm hug! Let your heart relax, and feel free to cry and release all those pent-up emotions.

Your work experience reminds me of my previous work. Last year, I also worked in after-sales customer service, mainly dealing with customer complaints. Whenever I answered the phone, the customer on the other end would have a bad attitude, complaining about everything, cursing, and threatening escalation. I was also very upset and felt aggrieved, but as I dealt with more customers, I gained some experience and was able to calm down a little. Then I could deal with the complaining customers later, and I was more at ease inside. I then managed to separate work from life, and kept the two separate.

Let's find ways to balance the pressure of this job with a sense of relaxation in our lives! Here are some ideas to get you started:

First, at work:

1. Re-evaluate this job, first adjust your state, calm down before answering the phone, according to customer demands, targeted solutions, categorize customer problems to solve.

The first type is the complaining type of customer. These customers don't have major problems and usually have just a few professional questions. We combine the purpose of the customer's call and solve it for them, enhancing their sense of self-worth.

The second type are customers who are extremely dissatisfied with the product or service. For these customers, first show them your empathy, let them speak first, and then wow them with your professional advice based on the problems they mention. You'll feel better too!

The third type of customer is particularly challenging, but you can do it! Try your best to resolve the problem. If you still can't handle it, you can escalate the task and look for available resources, such as your colleagues. You can combine their suggestions to solve the problem by leveraging their strengths. At the same time, for particularly serious complaints, you can seek help from your supervisor or leader so that you don't waste energy internally. We can deal with customer complaints in a classified manner, so that we can feel more relaxed.

In addition, remind yourself that this is just a job, not everything, and adjust your perception. If you're feeling uncomfortable dealing with some customer issues, you can take a quick break, step away from the situation, go for a walk, or simply chat with colleagues to distract yourself before getting back to work.

2. Remember, "work is work, life is life." At work or in the office, give it your all, but after work, it's time to live your own life, do the things you like, even if it's just daydreaming. Leave some space for yourself and enjoy the fun of life!

3. It's so important to be aware of your emotions! You can keep a mood journal to let out your bad emotions and feel a bit more relaxed.

4. Find someone you can talk to, like your best friend, or check out a platform like Yixinli, where you can talk things over and sort things out.

5. Outside of work, you have your own time, so you can arrange your leisure time as you like. For example, you can go shopping with friends, go to the movies, go on adventures, and store up more energy to enrich yourself. The world is your oyster!

6. Make sure you have your own personal space! You can read books, keep flowers, cook, and restore the energy you have expended.

No matter what method you use, if you take good care of yourself and feel better, everything else will be absolutely fine!

I'm Li Hongxia, a listening therapist, and I'm so excited to help you!

Hello, question asker! After reading this, I really understand how you feel. You are aware of your own problems in this area and you're actively seeking solutions, which also makes me feel that you are not only a serious and upright person in your work attitude, but also a positive person in life!

Your work is keeping you on your toes! It's a lot to handle, and it can sometimes feel like there's too much negative energy being thrown your way. But you've got this! You're handling pressure like a champ.

But you can still remain emotionally stable and answer politely, which shows that you are a person who can manage their emotions and also calm them down. Many people find it difficult to do what you do, so you are really amazing! Solving your current dilemma is actually quite simple.

Your job is to answer a lot of phone calls every day, and many of them are negative, with customers complaining about all sorts of things. You get to spend a lot of energy and enthusiasm to solve problems. After solving these problems, it is very normal to feel tired at the end of the day, but you can let go and calm yourself down.

Let's categorize customers and summarize various problems! When the same problem is encountered by different customers, let's try to solve it in the same way first. If it cannot be solved, let's improve it and perfect it! This way, we'll become more and more experienced in this regard and won't be led by customers.

We all know that going to work is exhausting and can drain your energy for the day. But there's no need to let these negative emotions get in the way of your social interactions! These are all very common residual states from work. Even though you've finished work, your mind might still be on work-related matters, as well as the things that happened that day and the negative emotions that have not yet been digested. This can leave you feeling tired and stuck in these negative emotions, unable to relax. But there's no reason to let this continue! Here, you can consider whether you can continue to work like this. If you still love this job, I suggest that you socialize when you should, talk to friends more, talk to friends and family, and let out all the negative emotions in your heart. Different people have different ways of dealing with the same thing. Maybe if you talk about it, you can come up with a different solution that can also help you. Another thing is that talking about it is a kind of release for both your psychological and emotional states. You can slowly digest it yourself much faster. So if you still love this job, you can change your state of mind. You can talk to your family, or get together with friends who you can talk to and connect with.

This is the perfect way to have an outlet for your emotions! It will help you work more effectively and relax when you get home from work, so that work will not disrupt your life.

You are an amazingly responsible person with a fantastic attitude about work. You power through and complete your tasks with incredible strength, enthusiasm, and positivity. It's clear you have a strong inner core and excellent self-emotion control. You've just been holding on to some negative emotions that have built up over time. When things get hectic and there's too much to do, it can be tough to handle. If it were anyone else, they might have lost their cool a while ago. So, it's awesome that you're still going strong! You just need to find ways to let off steam and have some fun. Everyone has different challenges every day. Let's talk about them, laugh about them, and then we'll feel like they're no big deal.

I'm sure this is just a momentary confusion, and soon you'll be able to walk out of it. You've got this! I have confidence in you!

After considering your question, I believe it requires an answer that is divided into two parts:

Part 1: Customers express their emotions towards you

In the course of your work, you may find yourself in a situation where a customer expresses dissatisfaction with your work. It is possible that you may feel aggrieved, as you believe you have not done anything wrong, yet the customer is accusing you of providing inadequate service. Furthermore, your supervisor may also hold you responsible for the customer's dissatisfaction, and ultimately, you may be held accountable for the outcome.

It is important to recognize that the issue may not be as significant as the negative cycle caused by the spread of negative emotions. This can result in a situation where you are forced to become a scapegoat. Your initial feelings of frustration and anger can then lead to others becoming affected, forming a clear chain of anger. The weakest link in this chain will bear the brunt of the anger, becoming the ultimate target.

This phenomenon is known in psychology as the "kicking a cat" effect, which means that when an individual is dissatisfied and in a bad mood, they will often direct their frustration towards someone weaker than themselves.

In the event of encountering difficult customers at work, it is essential to adopt a new way of thinking.

It is not always the case that other people's complaints are a reflection of your own performance. Each individual has their own expectations and preferences, and when the result does not meet their expectations, they will naturally be dissatisfied. It is therefore important to accept this as a normal occurrence.

Do not directly link the issue to your personal abilities and learn to calmly analyze it.

Secondly, it is important to manage your emotions promptly and avoid allowing them to impact others.

Ultimately, if you wish to maintain a positive relationship with this customer, it is essential to address their complaint promptly and effectively.

During this process, it is important to pay attention to the following points:

First, listen carefully to the content of the other person's complaint and consider whether it is justified. Determine if the complaint is a venting of emotions or if there has been a genuine mistake on your part.

Secondly, if you have made a mistake, you should offer an apology for your actions. If the issue lies with the other party, you can politely highlight this, allow the customer to understand that it is their problem, and then move on. Those who are in the wrong often use arrogance to suppress others, while those in the right can use kindness to build rapport.

Third, collaborate to identify a solution to the problem. For instance, clarify the other party's requirements, present your ideas and solutions, demonstrate your attitude and ability to handle the problem, and provide a general understanding of the implementation plan. This approach will prevent the other party from repeatedly asking for updates and allow you to focus on problem-solving.

Fourth, once the matter has been concluded, it is advisable to communicate with the customer to ascertain their satisfaction. This will also be beneficial for you to review and summarize later, thereby accumulating experience.

It is important to be aware that, despite the best efforts of customer service teams, complaints are an inevitable part of doing business. However, it is crucial to remember that, as a customer service representative, your role is limited to addressing customer concerns and providing support. You do not have the authority to alter company decisions or influence product development.

It is important to understand that these individuals are actually criticizing the company, not you. Attempting to defend the company's honor in this situation is not an appropriate course of action.

If you encounter an individual who is unresponsive to your attempts at resolution and is unwilling to provide a positive review, regardless of your efforts, it is advisable to terminate the interaction. Attempting to engage with such individuals is a futile exercise and only serves to exacerbate frustration.

Part 2: Experiencing Stress and Physical Exhaustion

It is important to note that stress is not inherently negative. In certain instances, stress can actually enhance cognitive abilities and performance.

If your stress is negatively impacting your career, social life, or overall health, you may have already reached a point of burnout.

It is important to distinguish this from the occasional sense of frustration that may arise from studying for several hours or the fatigue that can result from studying all night. This is more akin to a chronic condition caused by prolonged work.

It is likely that after several years in a professional role, many individuals will experience a period of "professional burnout." They may feel fatigue when performing even simple tasks and lack motivation to complete them. They may feel tired after work and desire to rest. They may lack the energy to engage in activities, which can lead to negative emotions. Over time, they may lose enthusiasm and well-being at work and in other aspects of their lives.

To eliminate feelings of drowsiness in a short period of time, it is recommended to take a "gap day." A "gap day" is also known as a "lazy day," which allows for one or two days in a busy work week to be completely unproductive and relieve the psychological burden that accumulates in the workplace.

Adherence to a single viewpoint can also result in feelings of exhaustion after work.

By focusing your energy on improving your professional skills, enjoying your life after work, and pursuing a side job that aligns with your interests, you can foster a more balanced attitude in the workplace. You may find that your priorities shift away from power, performance, status, and connections, which can lead to greater happiness and a reduction in burnout.

The essence of working for someone else is that you are compensated for your work. If you become overly invested in your work, you will become increasingly fatigued. It is important to consider ways to improve your comfort level and, if you are in a positive frame of mind, the fatigue you experience after work will dissipate more quickly.

The sense of fatigue caused by all mental problems can be attributed to the following three aspects:

A. Unwillingness, resistance, and other emotions lead to a collapse of the mentality. This is generally because motivation (material, such as salary; spiritual, such as recognition) cannot be obtained in the position. When this occurs, it is recommended to stop and evaluate whether this job is still a good fit and whether it is necessary for career development in the next 1-3 years. If it is not, it may be advisable to consider leaving the position as soon as possible to avoid wasting time. In fact, for professionals in the workplace, the biggest sunk cost is time.

B. Secondary emotions such as confusion and procrastination can also lead to an imbalance of the mind. This can result in a sense of disconnection between goals and methods. Despite one's best efforts, it can be challenging to achieve or come close to one's goals. In such cases, it is important to pause and reflect on the approach taken. Have the methods employed been fragmented, making it difficult to reach the goal stage? Or have the criteria for key methods been misaligned, leading to the desired results not being achieved, despite the methods being followed?

Have you identified the risks and are you prepared to manage them effectively? If you have, that is the optimal approach. However, if you require assistance in this area, please do not hesitate to seek help promptly.

If you have been unable to identify a solution or achieve a breakthrough despite exerting significant effort over an extended period, it may be beneficial to assess your suitability for the role and consider whether a change in employment would be advantageous.

C. The final issue is the emotional imbalance caused by anxiety and fear of repeated pulling, which generally means that the ability cannot effectively support the implementation of the method, thus leading to a series of problems. These kinds of problems are mainly reflected in the fact that learning goals, rhythms, and plans for your own ability growth have not been set. At this time, you should extensively seek ways to improve your abilities (search, colleagues), and on-the-job training is not recommended, as it would take too long to implement.

It is advisable to seek assistance from counseling and training services to address these issues. If the problems are not significant, it is not recommended to quit your job if it aligns with your career plan for the next one to three years. It is important to work diligently and focus on the long-term goals.

It is important to note that burnout is not something to be feared. While it may be a challenging and confusing experience, it can be prevented with self-monitoring. Being aware of the signs can help prevent it. These may include, but are not limited to:

No matter how much sleep you get, you feel exhausted and tired, which leads to fatigue and insomnia.

Insufficient motivation to attend work.

You are consistently experiencing depressive episodes.

You become irritable and display aggressive behavior towards others due to frustration.

This results in a lack of confidence in one's ability to work, which in turn leads to poor performance.

The respondents also reported an increase in physical discomfort, including headaches, sore muscles, and jaw tension.

There was a higher incidence of illness due to stress and fatigue.

Inability to focus on work or projects.

A lack of motivation and interest in school or leisure activities previously enjoyed.

You feel a lack of connection to colleagues and peers.

In terms of the underlying causes of academic burnout among college students, the following factors have been identified:

Approximately 5% of respondents indicated that they were experiencing psychological or physical issues.

Approximately 13% of respondents indicated a lack of personal motivation.

Almost a quarter of respondents cited external factors as the primary cause, including family issues, financial concerns, and time management challenges stemming from part-time employment.

Additionally, nearly 5% of respondents attributed their academic difficulties to their instructors.

Almost half of students who feel burned out attribute excessive stress as a contributing factor.

Identifying the root causes of burnout can help resolve the issue and prevent it from occurring in the future.

It is important to take warning signs seriously.

The first step is to identify the initial indications of burnout and anticipate the factors that contribute to it. Effectively managing burnout is more straightforward when your cognitive abilities are not impaired by persistent fatigue and frustration.

It is important not to dismiss or ignore these warning signs, as they require action. If ignored, they may be mistaken for a short period of tiredness and a desire to be lazy. By intervening early, it is possible to avoid greater stress and fatigue.

If you believe you may be approaching a state of burnout, it is important not to ignore the warning signs.

It is important to learn how to decline requests when necessary.

Young professionals are often overly sensitive to the word "no." They readily accept new challenges and opportunities to demonstrate their capabilities and fulfill their responsibilities.

Famous quote by the Roman philosopher Seneca: "No person hands out their time to passers-by, but to how many do each of us hand out our lives! We're reluctant to invest our time and energy in our careers, yet we should be more mindful of the value of our time."

It is important to remember that life is finite, as is your time. Attempting to take on more work may give the impression of increased productivity and talent, but this is not necessarily the case.

However, this approach has a cost: it leaves less time for reflection, development and learning. Without clear boundaries, burnout is inevitable.

Sleep is a critical factor in maintaining mental stability.

Our culture tends to glorify working late into the night. This is evidenced by the fact that many people see working overtime, with little sleep and in a state of fatigue, as a badge of honor. In many cases, sleep, or rather how much we need, has become a symbol of our abilities!

"There is a collective delusion that sleep is optional, that the busier and more important we are, the more necessary it is to forgo sleep," says Huffington, co-founder and editor-in-chief of the Wall Street Journal. The latest scientific evidence makes it abundantly clear that sleep is an essential component of our health, productivity, and happiness.

Additionally, she states, "There is almost no aspect of our lives that cannot be enhanced through sufficient rest."

While sacrificing sleep may provide the illusion of increased productivity, research indicates that individuals aged 18–25 require between 7 and 9 hours of sleep per night, according to Mark S. Hershkovitz, chairman of the scientific advisory board of the American Academy of Sleep Medicine.

Ten strategies for avoiding burnout

Once you have recovered from burnout, it is important to take steps to avoid falling back into the same habits. Here are 10 ways to avoid burnout at work, so you can avoid it in the future.

Set realistic objectives.

Meet deadlines and avoid procrastination.

It is recommended that you get seven to nine hours of sleep every night, even if you are unable to fall asleep. If this occurs, it is advised that you simply lie down and close your eyes.

It is important to maintain a healthy diet and drink plenty of water.

It is beneficial to cultivate a positive rapport with your colleagues, as this can contribute to a more enjoyable work environment.

Ensure you allow sufficient time for rest during the day.

Allocate a week for engaging in enjoyable activities.

It is recommended that you take a holiday or a break every now and then.

It is beneficial to go for walks and engage in other forms of outdoor activity as much as possible.

Select flexible study programs that allow you to study at your convenience, regardless of location.

Hey there! I get it. Dealing with a lot of customers in a bad mood at work can be really stressful.

You've done a great job. It's not easy to stay enthusiastic and patient all the time.

I also work in sales and interact with customers daily. It's true that some customers will bring their emotions to work.

My boss is also very emotional and often brings her negative emotions to the workplace. I know how difficult it is to "not be affected by other people's negative emotions." It's even more challenging to maintain emotional stability and respond politely in this state of customer service work. Hugs?

Self-analysis and self-awareness:

It's important to remember that the customer's emotions aren't your responsibility, and you shouldn't pay for them.

We all have our own emotions, and we can't control them. All we can do is try our best to help and keep our emotions stable.

If you find yourself in a similar situation again, you can try saying something like, "I can see you're pretty upset right now, and that's okay. If something is bothering you, you can vent as much as you like. I'm just here to listen. When you're ready, we can talk about how to solve the problem." You can adapt this to suit your work. The biggest advantage is that your calm feedback will make the other person aware of their emotional state and realize that you're not interested in venting emotions, but in problem solving. Of course, this may also depend on whether the customer on the other end of the phone is self-aware. In short, it's good to have one more method to try, which can solve some customer problems.

At the same time, it's important to be able to accept your own emotions and not be too hard on yourself.

2. Self-awareness and self-care techniques

✍Awareness of emotions: After work, take some time to reflect on the day's events. Pay attention to how you're feeling and try to describe your emotions in words, for example, "I feel anxious" or "I feel very tired." When you're able to connect with your inner self, talk to yourself and then tell yourself, "You've worked hard, it's not your fault, let other people's emotions go, and rest well after work."

✍Physical relaxation: Try some physical relaxation techniques such as deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, meditation, etc. These methods can help you relieve physical tension and reduce negative emotions.

✍Stress-relief workout: Try a physical activity you enjoy, like walking, running, yoga, swimming, or anything else that gets your heart pumping. Working out releases tension, boosts endorphins, and lifts your mood.

I've been doing this for about a year now, swimming one or two times a week and doing strength training three times a week. I can really feel the difference in my energy levels and vitality. I'd definitely recommend it if you like.

✍Get into some hobbies that make you happy and satisfied. Reading, painting, listening to music—whatever floats your boat. Investing time in these activities in your spare time can help distract you and relieve work stress.

✍Social support: Sharing your feelings with friends or family can make you feel seen and cared for, and it can relieve stress to a certain extent. Our group of girlfriends has four people, and we have a group chat. When we are usually stressed, we will vent our frustrations together, and we will also share happy and interesting things, so that you don't feel like you are alone and helpless.

3. "Issue separation" exercise

"Issue separation" is a key concept in Adlerian psychology. It means distinguishing between your own issues and those of others, focusing on what you can control and change, and not getting involved in or taking responsibility for other people's issues.

✅Self-awareness: Pay attention to your own thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, and be aware of which are your own issues and which are other people's issues. For example, work tasks are your own issues, while other people's opinions are other people's issues. Another example is that [your listening and responding is your issue as a customer service representative, while your customer's emotional outburst is his own issue].

✅Set boundaries: Be clear about what's yours and what's not. Learn to say "no" to issues that aren't yours. For example, don't take on unreasonable demands or responsibilities that aren't yours. The customer's emotional outburst isn't your responsibility.

✅ Focus on yourself: Focus on your own issues and do your best to do your part, without focusing too much on other people's issues. It's good to understand other people's feelings, but avoid over-empathizing and taking on other people's emotions and problems as your own responsibility.

✅ Practice separating topics: In your daily life, try to apply the topic of separation to different situations, like getting along with family, friends, and colleagues. And remember that some things are out of your control, accept that life is uncertain, and focus on the parts you can change.

It's also a good idea to regularly review how you're doing in terms of topic separation, summarize what you've learned, and make continuous improvements.

Practicing topic separation helps us manage our emotions and lives better, and it reduces unnecessary stress and distress. It's also important to remember that [topic separation is not indifferent or selfish; it's about caring for yourself while caring for others].

4. Related book recommendations

Emotional First Aid: This book offers strategies and techniques for handling everyday emotional challenges and helps people manage their emotions more effectively.

Nonviolent Communication: This book introduces an effective communication method that helps you build good relationships with others and reduce conflict and negative emotions.

The Power of Emotions explains how to understand and manage emotions, and how to use the power of emotions to improve quality of life.

"Amazing Me: Psychology of Self-Development" dives into the psychology of personal growth and self-development, offering practical tips and techniques.

We hope these suggestions will help you out.

If you're still struggling with emotional issues, it might be helpful to speak with a professional counselor. Best of luck!

Hello! From what you've told me, I can see that you're going through a tough time and feeling a bit helpless.

Hi there! I'm a psychological counselor, and I'd love to share some insights from a psychological perspective.

Hi there! I've been struggling with something at work recently. I get a lot of customer calls, and I need to remain enthusiastic and patient, no matter what kind of complaint the customer makes. But in the past month, I have often been approached by customers in a bad mood, who take out their emotions on me. I know I have to remain calm and polite at all times, but it's been really tough! I can't relax, and the depressing emotions from work also leave me with no energy to maintain extra social connections. How can I get out of this state?

When I see your confusion, it reminds me of one of my teenage visitors. I've been working with him for about a year now and we've built a great counseling relationship. He'll often ask me, "Teacher Zhao, you listen to our negative emotions every day. I'm worried that you'll become unhappy like us." When I hear this, I think about two things: first, the emotions themselves, and second, how we can protect ourselves with the knowledge we've gained. We have supervisors and experienced therapists who can help us, too. It's like we're air purifiers, transforming polluted air into new air. Professional knowledge is our transforming agent.

Your job requires you to treat customers as if they were God, which is a big responsibility! You have to serve them with respect, warmth, enthusiasm, patience, active attention, and empathy. When we finish work, it's important to learn to empty our minds, let go, live in the present, experience our lives better, and pay attention to ourselves.

How can you adjust yourself and improve your adaptability? I'm here to help!

First things first: get to know yourself! What are your character traits?

How are your interpersonal skills? And how is your relationship with your parents?

We all face challenges in life, and it's important to know how to handle them. When you encounter conflicts or contradictions, it's essential to be able to adjust and adapt. This requires self-awareness and reflection to better understand your own patterns. If you're looking for guidance, counseling can be a great way to explore your patterns in a safe and stable environment.

Secondly, it's so important to accept yourself, just as you are. What are your strengths and weaknesses?

What are some of your favorite pastimes? What are your strengths? They're the foundation of your self-confidence. For example, you have the ability to work and learn, you are good at self-reflection, you are patient, etc. Weaknesses: When faced with negative emotions, you tend to suppress them, which can cause a build-up of negative emotions inside. You can choose to talk about them, seek a safe environment such as your family, close friends, or a counselor, learn to express your thoughts, discuss them together, and accept your limitations, so that you can better complete the integration of your self-identity.

Third, it's so important to learn to love yourself! Focus on your inner self, learn to love yourself, and learn to relax after work. You can do this by talking things over, listening to music, exercising, or just lying down and feeling empty inside. You can also use meditation and mindfulness relaxation therapy to focus on yourself, learn to love yourself, and then you can do the things you want to do better!

The world and I love you! You have to learn to love yourself, understand yourself, and accept yourself in order to be better at being yourself!

The present is good! Be grateful for the encounter.

From your description, I can tell you're feeling the emotional pressure that comes with this kind of work. Let's talk about it together, I'm here for you.

1. Emotional detachment

In your description, you said, "When I go to work, I need to answer a lot of customer calls, and I need to remain enthusiastic and patient, no matter what kind of complaint the customer makes. But in the past month, I have often been approached by customers in a bad mood, who take out their anger on me. But I need to remain calm and polite at all times." You need to learn to detach from the emotions of others and set a boundary for yourself to protect yourself from being affected by other people's emotions.

You must have a strong heart and a stable inner self to accept the emotions of others. If your inner self is not stable enough, you must detach from the emotions of others and set boundaries to protect yourself. Don't let other people's emotions affect you.

It is important to understand that the emotions of others are their own business and have no bearing on you. The other person must perceive their own emotions as a messenger that reminds them to look within.

His emotions are a result of either his internal imprints being aroused or him being internally lacking. Regardless of the emotion or the customer, remember that it is their own and has nothing to do with you.

Separate your emotions well and you won't be so easily influenced. You won't have to catch so many emotions, which makes you very tired.

2. Let your emotions flow out of your body.

Tell yourself, "I'm off work now," and you'll see how this simple sentence marks a clear division between your work and your life.

Today's work is over. I'm going back to my life now. I don't have to worry about work anymore. I don't have to look back on the emotions I received at work.

At the same time, you must learn to do some exercises that make you feel comfortable and relaxed. This will help your body open up and shake, run, or let out a yell into the empty space. You can also write down your emotions at the moment. All of these will help you let go of your emotions.

3. Love yourself.

I know you have to deal with customers' emotions every day, and it's frustrating. You need to be understood and seen behind your emotions.

If you encounter a customer who is warm and understanding, record it. This is an opportunity to give yourself inner comfort. Vent to a friend or girlfriend when you need to. After you hang up, you'll feel much more relaxed.

For customers who are very emotional, it's crucial to acknowledge their feelings. You can also use this as an opportunity to grow and develop. For instance, you can recognize the other person's emotions and help them recognize them for the first time. "Sir, you feel that this problem has not been resolved, and you are frustrated or even disappointed, aren't you?"

Help him see his emotions. Help him become aware of his own emotions. Express your feelings consistently at the right time. Make sure the other person realizes their words and actions hurt you.

And remember, express your emotions once and for all, not emotionally.

If you can't change a job that you can't change for the time being, you must learn to grow from it and enjoy the work. Don't be defeated by it. When you can develop this ability in yourself, you will have a mindset of enjoying the moment and being grateful for the experience.

This will help you build inner strength and become more mature.

If you really can't handle so many emotions, you can talk to a listening therapist on the platform or a professional psychological counselor. They will help you manage your emotions and gain a better mindset.

I am confident that my answer is helpful, and I wish you the best.