Worried about becoming like them, how do you understand the subtle influence of the people around you on yourself?

Hello! I'll give you a 360-degree hug.

From what you've asked, it seems like this is a great topic.

I think it's important to remember that we all go through a process of becoming social beings from natural beings. A natural being is something that is natural and innate, something that has not been interfered with.

What happens when a person is raised without outside intervention? You can look at cases like wolf children, human children raised by animals, and see that they acquire animal behaviors, such as walking on all fours and eating raw meat.

They're also affected by what happens in the outside world.

The socialization process is how we go from being natural people to social people. It's a process that's guided by various external interventions. When we were young, our parents influenced us the most. After all, human children can't live independently for a long time and need to be nurtured by someone, so the influence of parents on children is profound.

Then, in kindergarten, at school, among peers, in social groups, etc., they gradually become socialized and learn to adapt to social life.

As a manager, the bare minimum you need to do is follow the law. Don't cause trouble or bring it to others or society.

This is a pretty low bar.

We all need to be socialized. Socialization is the process of being influenced by others and society. Unless you live in a bubble, without any outside input, without words, books, music, or paintings.

...

All of these things can affect our thinking, and you might not be influenced by them.

It's inevitable that we'll be influenced by the people around us. Some of these influences are intentional, like the influence of parents and teachers on us. These kinds of people have a responsibility to teach. Some influences are unintentional, like when someone swears and wants to influence an unrelated third person by swearing, and wants the third person to learn from them and also swear.

This isn't the case at all. They don't intend to influence anyone else. But that doesn't stop someone else from being influenced and copying them, or from being disgusted by their behavior.

We're all influenced by others, but it's up to us to decide whether we're going to be swayed by it.

This means thinking for ourselves. Maturity is about finding a mindset, attitude, ideas, behaviors, etc. that suit you, between your own thinking and external influences.

It's a back-and-forth process. On the one hand, you have your own thinking, and on the other, external influence.

People who are easily influenced by others tend to think less for themselves. People who think more for themselves and have their own independent thoughts will often figure out whether external influences need to be accepted, kept at a distance, or directly criticized.

For example, everyone around you is playing TikTok. It's their form of entertainment, and they'll also give you points and share the short videos they see. This is probably the kind of subtle influence you're thinking of, but whether you want to play TikTok like them is up to you.

People who don't think for themselves are likely to follow the crowd and be easily influenced.

You don't need to worry about being subtly influenced by the people around you. There's a lot of influence out there, but you get to decide whether to accept it and how much to accept it.

This means you need to think for yourself and be able to judge things. People who don't have any views are the most likely to be influenced by others.

If you have concerns, I suggest you read more, think more, and spend more time with people you admire.

I'm often a Buddhist and a pessimist, but I try to be a positive and motivated counselor. I love the world and I love you.

Hello, I'm Zeyu.

We try to understand how people around us influence us and make changes when we need to.

After learning some psychology, the questioner will avoid some people. When facing these "immoral" people, they will be aware of them to avoid becoming like them. Regarding the questioner's worry, I would like to use Murphy's Law to illustrate the problem: the more you worry, the more likely it is to happen. If the questioner keeps paying attention, they may discover they have such and such problems.

The problem the original poster mentioned is something we all have to a greater or lesser extent. We may be used to it or lack external factors that make us aware of it. We will eventually see it if we pay attention.

The questioner may say I've been influenced and it's their fault. In reality, the questioner may accept reality with an open mind. Regardless, we'll all have problems.

People around us can influence us in subtle ways. We can decide whether or not to let them.

How can we avoid being affected?

This means being aware of ourselves. When we feel happy, sad, angry, or depressed, we can learn more about ourselves. We can think about our memories or think about how we interact with others.

When we have problems, don't worry or feel sad. Let it be and find a way to solve it. It's just a problem, not a person with a problem.

I hope this article helps the questioner solve the problem. Good luck.

Dear questioner,

I'm Kelly Shui, and I'm thrilled to be here with you today!

This is great! It means you're thinking and becoming aware.

You are so perceptive! Do you remember when we were students, we read this great quote: "Those who associate with scarlet will become scarlet, and those who associate with ink will become black."

This is a great reminder that when you live in a good environment, you're surrounded by all the good things in life. And when you live in a bad environment, you're exposed to the bad stuff. It's all about the influence of the environment on people!

Now, let's dive into the fascinating topic of how our environment shapes our friendships!

There's an amazing story about Mencius's mother moving three times!

Mengzi originally lived next to the entertainers, and he couldn't help but listen! When he moved to the butcher's, he often went to watch the pigs being slaughtered.

And it was only when he moved for the third time, next to the school, that Mencius was able to concentrate on his studies!

And he became a truly great thinker!

Because people are so open to suggestion!

You said that after learning some psychology, you realized that the people around you can subtly influence you in amazing ways!

Absolutely! I wholeheartedly believe that people do have an influence, but we also need to be critical.

For example, when we go to the hospital, ordinary people will be nervous or even fearful. But what about the doctors and nurses? They are amazing!

In this kind of environment, they will constantly improve their energy or change their beliefs—and it's so inspiring to see!

For example, when I was studying psychology, I was blown away by how much I learned. At first, when I saw others wanting to commit suicide or some people with negative energy, I would get nervous, but I quickly realized that I could use my own experiences to help them.

Later, I became the group leader, and every day I had the incredible opportunity to chat with many group members who were in a bad mood. After listening to their stories, some of which were similar to my own experiences, I gained a deeper understanding of their struggles and was filled with hope that my experiences could help them.

This makes me think about how I can help them!

And it's so rewarding when I see them getting better and growing! They often thank me for my help.

At that time, I saw my own value and found the meaning of studying psychology. I also slowly understood that we are constantly growing and changing our minds as we grow, which is so exciting!

So when you feel particularly repelled by someone around you, someone with bad behavior or annoying qualities,

Allows itself to hate, to accept the emotions of the moment, and at the same time to consider that the bad qualities in them happen to be the very things we can avoid in ourselves.

What is the reason behind these annoyances?

And there's more! You can also look at it and see if there are any merits apart from the things you dislike.

We will slowly discover that people are multifaceted and can change at any time, which is really exciting!

You can also think about it: Is there anyone in this world who is not disliked?

There's no such thing as a "perfect" person in the world, and that's a good thing! Accepting imperfection means accepting yourself, and then you'll be able to accept others too!

And it gets even better! As you grow, your perception will improve.

Take your family, for example.

And the best part is that when we change for the better, it has a ripple effect on the family atmosphere. For example, if a parent is in a bad mood, we can detect it in time and realize that it is their emotion. We can learn to separate the issue and take control of the situation!

If your parents feel that you are happy, for example, you will show your love and care for them when you come home, tell jokes to your family every day, and have a stable mood, which will also change your family for the better!

If we can't change, then let's not be influenced by family members!

Now, let's talk about friends!

The writer Jia Pingwa said something really interesting: "The circle of friends is actually the world of your life. Your journey of fame and fortune is the history of the good and evil of your friends."

The best thing you can do is focus on making good friends! When you're on your own, you have the perfect opportunity to work on improving yourself.

For example, some of my friends love to go to painting circles if they like painting, to bookstores if they like reading, to art galleries if they like art, and to concerts if they like music.

The wonderful thing about life is that different circles can make different friends!

You want all your friends to be outstanding because you have the motivation to grow yourself!

The great thing is, you can choose your friends! And if you're not happy with them, you can change them!

And you love spending time with people who are happy and positive!

If you feel affected, you can enjoy some time alone to recharge. And if you feel full of energy, you can go and listen to your friends complain to vent and have a good laugh together!

The best part is that you can choose them freely! You'll learn to love yourself, be aware of yourself, and avoid being influenced by others.

If you spend a lot of time with someone who is decadent and negative, you will lose your desire for life, your enthusiasm for life, and your vision for the future—and that's a good thing!

If you follow someone with negative energy, you'll only ever see bad scenery. But if you follow someone with positive energy, you'll see the best scenery!

In the long run, your optimism will be drained and your motivation will be sapped. But don't worry! You can easily turn this around.

Spending time with negative people is ultimately a form of self-defeating behavior—so let's avoid them!

A firm self

The great news is that we can't change others, but we can use others as mirrors to help us grow through relationships!

There was this amazing story about

A person often felt depressed and frustrated, so he went to a psychiatrist to ask if he had depression.

The doctor prescribed an amazing course of treatment: find one or more friends who are happy every day, and visit him in the morning, afternoon, and evening!

If we remain aware, we can absolutely avoid being influenced by these bad qualities!

If we focus on ourselves and become more aware of ourselves, we will gradually become one with our thoughts and emotions—and it's an amazing journey!

And the best part is, we'll also be able to detect which part of ourselves needs to grow!

An eagle that grows up in a chicken coop will lose the ability to fly. But the good news is that an eagle can soar to great heights if it learns to fly with a flock of eagles!

If you feel that the negative people around you are affecting you, then it's time to spread your wings and fly away! This is also awareness.

If you want to soar like an eagle, you have to fly with a flock of eagles!

This could be the power of osmosis at work! It's the role of being influenced by others.

If you want wisdom, you have to be with wise people! And you know what? You will become wiser!

There are two things in life that are absolutely amazing: reading good books and making friends with people of high caliber.

I truly believe that everything will change, just as you like psychology and study it!

Happy birthday!

The world and I love you so much!

My name is Gu Yi. I am a modest and self-effacing individual with a consistent demeanor.

It is important to recognize the subtle yet pervasive influence of culture on individuals and behavior.

I initially encountered this quote in a high school political science class. Through further study and a deeper understanding, coupled with observations in my immediate environment, I have gained a more profound insight into the quote's meaning.

We are constantly influenced by the patterns of those around us, whether we are aware of it or not. Your concern about becoming like those you dislike and being influenced by those around you is a natural reaction.

In this state of conflict and fear, anxiety is the likely result. This is because we have observed the subtle influence of culture on people. It is also important to consider the positive impact of culture on innovation.

It is important to find a way to fit in with your living environment.

It is often said that what suits you is the best, but it is not always straightforward to achieve this. Attempting to change others is challenging, and modifying the environment requires significant effort. If we are unable to influence others or the environment, we can still take control of our own perceptions and behaviours.

If we find the behavior of certain individuals in our environment unappealing and are concerned about emulating them, we can begin by modifying our perceptions and focusing on the strengths of those around us. By learning from these strengths, we can potentially adopt them as our own.

It is important to recognize that nothing is absolute. Instead, we should consider different perspectives and select options that align with our needs and goals. This approach can help us maintain a more calm and objective perspective when interacting with our surroundings and others.

Hello!

I'm really interested in learning more about the school of psychology you studied, which suggests that our environment plays a bigger role in shaping us than we might have thought. From your writing, I can tell that you have high standards for yourself and that you have high expectations of those around you in terms of behavior and morality. I'd love to hear more about how this approach has shaped your life!

Are these changes something you'd like to have? Absolutely! But are they making you more and more confused? No way!

I have so many questions for you! Unfortunately, the Q&A format doesn't allow me to get an immediate response from you. However, let's explore together your final concern: the fear of becoming like them!

? Guess what! The traits we don't like in others are also the things we don't accept about ourselves.

The fascinating field of psychoanalysis, which delves into the mysteries of the subconscious, often suggests that the subconscious operates in ways that defy logic. Take, for instance, our visceral dislike of arrogant people. Once we encounter them, we can't help but recognize them. So, what's the logic behind the subconscious?

In fact, subconsciously we think we are inferior and small, and we cannot stand being looked down upon. So when we feel unappreciated, we think the other person is arrogant—and that's an opportunity for growth!

Many people will disagree with this explanation and say that it is possible for someone to be truly "arrogant." And they're right! It is true that it is possible. But here's the catch: if we don't subconsciously think that we are inferior, when we really get along with someone who is arrogant, we won't feel uncomfortable because of their arrogance. Instead, we'll get along with them comfortably! Only when we feel that we are inferior to others will we be particularly sensitive to those "bad" things about ourselves that we don't want others to see.

From this perspective, we have the incredible opportunity to be less susceptible to the influence of others, while also embracing the influence of the "self" that was nurtured during our growth process.

The subconscious mind is anti-logical, so how can we save ourselves? The answer is simple: we can't. But there is a way to work with our subconscious mind to achieve the positive changes we desire!

The subconscious mind is a fascinating realm that we can only begin to understand with a little exploration. After all, words like "destiny" and "providence" hint at the incredible mysteries of our minds. When we can't seem to grasp something, it's comforting to think that there's a larger plan at work. But there's another way to connect with this hidden wisdom — through self-exploration! If you're facing challenges at home or at work, a psychodynamic counselor at Yixinli can help you navigate those hidden depths. There's so much to discover about yourself!

You should definitely give it a try! ?

Hello there!

A little pat on the shoulder goes a long way!

So, how do we get rid of a negative environment? Well, the good news is that we can! And it's a great place to start on the road to becoming a stable person. You see, only people with emotional stability can better control themselves, their attention will not easily be diverted from their goals, and they can thus better adhere to themselves and achieve friendly communication and exchanges.

and give themselves a big, warm, fuzzy affirmation!

As an independent individual, growth is a process of constantly improving self-awareness. We all long for the recognition and positive evaluation of others, so it is only natural that we will experience moments of self-doubt and self-questioning. This is also the reason why children in adolescence are particularly sensitive to the evaluation of their surroundings.

So, you can take a good look at yourself, give yourself a little pat on the back, and not let rejection get you down. You can also see where you can improve and fill in the gaps, growing stronger and wiser with each passing day. As you gain more confidence, your sense of self-worth will grow stronger too!

* Improve your emotional awareness and detect problems.

Human relationships are also like an "environment" that can have a big impact on our emotions. This is why Confucius said that the best way to make friends is to distinguish between "beneficial friends" and "detrimental friends." We'll feel more comfortable and benefit from it!

It's so important to be aware of our own thoughts and feelings. When we're always thinking negatively, it can have a negative effect on ourselves and those around us. Sometimes we're not even aware that we're doing it! But if we can be emotionally aware and respond objectively without letting our emotions get in the way, it can really help to preserve and improve relationships. It can also give the other person a sense of safety and help them to feel heard.

*Try to see things from the other person's perspective and show them you understand.

It's usually people outside our inner circle who cause us to feel negative emotions. As long as we remain "vigilant" and don't let our emotions get involved easily, the trouble won't continue to grow. But sometimes the people with negative and sad emotions are our loved ones. We have to learn to put ourselves in other people's shoes, increase our empathy, feel the other person's true feelings, and give them the necessary comfort and companionship.

Because we all need a little help sometimes, it's important to be there for each other. We can't always release positive energy and be open about our weaknesses, but when we can, it's a beautiful thing.

I'm sending you lots of good luck and encouragement to keep going!

Good morning. The questioner is seeking advice on maintaining a positive state in an environment where intervention is not possible.

Given your assertion that the people around you can subconsciously influence you, I appreciate your exploration of seeking self-growth. As you have noted, the current living environment is unchangeable and may affect you. I agree that the process will involve confusion, repetition, pain, and joy.

These are experiences that are an inherent part of the growth process, so there is no need to rush.

Our values are shaped by our parents, teachers, and the environment we are in. It is therefore impossible to exist in a completely isolated context. In particular, when our values are still evolving, we are more vulnerable to external influences and fluctuations. As we mature and become more self-assured, the impact of external opinions on us will diminish. We will have a clearer understanding of what is our own responsibility and what is not.

Furthermore, when confronted with negative emotions or situations that are difficult to accept, it is possible to adopt a different perspective.

Negative emotions serve a useful function as a threat alert system.

It alerts us to situations that we would prefer to avoid and that could potentially result in loss or harm. In ancient times, negative emotions such as anxiety and fear helped our ancestors successfully avoid dangerous situations and take protective measures.

Feelings of disappointment, self-blame, and embarrassment make us more sensitive to the reactions of others and more in need of their help, thereby improving our chances of survival by fostering collaboration. Fear reminds us that danger is close by and that we need to be vigilant; loneliness reminds us that we are alone and need to reconnect with friends and family. Negative emotions are also useful.

It serves as a threat alert system, indicating when we are faced with situations that we do not want, which may result in losses or harm.

When we acknowledge the legitimacy of our emotions, we allow them to appear and stay with us for a while. In doing so, we recognize that we are real, ordinary human beings. We may experience disappointment when we are unable to achieve a goal, fear when we encounter the unknown, or anger when we perceive injustice.

I recommend the following titles: True Happiness, Know Thyself, Accept Thyself, and Self-Esteem. These books can assist you in better understanding and accepting yourself.

In conclusion, it is my hope that we can all learn to accept and love ourselves more.

Hello, questioner. I'm a psychology enthusiast with over 20 years of experience and many books to my name. I'd like to share my insights on this issue.

Psychology shows that we are influenced by those around us. But if you think about it, people just want to fit in and be accepted.

Like other social animals, humans have rules. We live together, deal with dangers, and get resources.

As time has passed, people have become more social and good at integrating into groups. Most people today are concerned about whether they are social enough.

Many people imitate others and let others influence them. This starts in childhood and continues into adulthood. When we act like this, we don't know why or what we're expecting.

But human beings are intelligent. When we don't know what our actions mean, we are driven by the "programming mode" written into our minds by the environment.

When we examine our thoughts, words, and actions, we can choose to behave in ways that are beneficial to ourselves and others.

Our own thoughts and behaviors can be changed. This is the basis of all contemporary psychological counseling and psychotherapy.

Studying psychology will help us love and care for ourselves, nourish ourselves, and achieve spiritual independence and freedom. As you learn more about psychology, you will realize your worries are unnecessary and find ways to become your best self.

I don't know which area of psychology you like, but I suggest you learn more about positive psychology. You will learn how to be happier.

I also recommend The Lucifer Effect by Professor Zimbardo. He is a respected psychologist. In this book, he describes an experiment and reflects on the results.

It confronts the dark sides of human nature but is meant to find truth and kindness. You'll find it helpful.

Best,

Hello, dear questioner. I can sense from your words that you are concerned about the potential influence of negative individuals and circumstances in your life. It's understandable to feel uneasy about the possibility of becoming someone with less desirable traits or behaviors.

Even though you try your best to stay away from bad people or things, you find that it is impossible to avoid them, which can make you feel worried and anxious. Take a moment to give yourself a hug. There's no need to be afraid. Let's explore your confusion together.

It is inevitable that people around us will subtly influence us. However, it is not necessarily the case that we will become like them if we are surrounded by people with bad qualities.

It is important to recognize that in any interpersonal interaction, we may be subtly influenced by the people around us. However, just because we are surrounded by people with certain qualities does not necessarily mean that we will become like them. The subtle influence can be interpreted in two ways: the length of time and the strength of the influence.

If the contact is only short-term or superficial, it may be more challenging for others to influence us. It's often the case that the people who can have a subtle influence on us are those who are close to us, such as family members, friends, and colleagues.

Is it possible to completely avoid bad people and things?

It is not always possible to avoid people who have a negative influence on us. Even if we try to avoid them, they will always be around, no matter where we go. It is therefore not realistic to expect that we can avoid being influenced by others by avoiding them.

How might we go about reducing the influence of other people's bad habits on us?

It may be helpful to consider ways of strengthening the body.

It would be beneficial to develop your own strength. To be less affected by the negative emotions or behaviors of others, you may wish to consider ways of strengthening your mind and fortifying your inner self. When you have relatively correct beliefs in your heart and a strong will, it is often more difficult for others to influence you.

If I may suggest, perhaps we could all try to spread a little more positivity.

We all have an impact on those around us, and they in turn have an impact on us. This includes people in our lives who have both positive and negative qualities, and who are likely to be influenced by us. Rather than simply withdrawing, it is more beneficial to openly embrace and radiate positive emotions and good character, which can then influence those around us.

If there is no pure land, we will do our best to create one.

I hope these suggestions are helpful. Wishing you well.

Hello, questioner!

From your description, it's clear that you're ready to take charge of your life and avoid being influenced by the bad character of the people around you. In psychology, there is indeed such an influence as subtle influence, but it is said that this influence on adults is very small. If we adults have a firm self and principles, then the influence is very small. Of course, if the original family has such an impact on the growth of the child, then the influence may be huge. After all, from an early age, we have to accept a certain education, and the presence of such people around us will affect our growth and make us become such people. This is a normal phenomenon, and you can easily overcome it!

Now for the fun part! Let's dive in and see how we can solve this together.

[1] Be aware of the reasons why you have such thoughts — and then let them go!

It's time to find out why you have these thoughts, what you are afraid of, and what your emotions and feelings are at the moment! And remember, every thought we have is just a thought and will not necessarily become a reality.

[2] With a firm self and principles, you'll be absolutely unstoppable!

If an adult's thinking or our inner self has firm principles, then it is highly unlikely to be influenced. This is great news! It means we can take control of our lives and make decisions that align with our values. So, let's first check in with ourselves to see if our inner selves are strong and our inner energy is full. Then, we can work on enhancing our inner energy so we can be more determined and true to ourselves.

[3] And we absolutely must learn to say no firmly to things we don't want to do!

Learning to say no to things we don't want to do is an amazing way to show perseverance and set our boundaries. When we have this kind of awareness about things we don't want to do, such as bad things, things that violate morality, or things that are not good character, we have the right to refuse to do them, learn to say no, and learn to be brave.

[4] Get ready to boost your self-confidence and believe in yourself!

Fear of being affected is also a sign of a lack of self-confidence. But there's no need to worry! We can easily improve ourselves and boost our self-confidence. Even if something about other people doesn't have an impact on us, we can see our own inner selves and our weak sides, thereby boosting our self-confidence and believing in ourselves. Then nothing will be affected!

I really hope the above comments are helpful to you!

Good day, my name is Jialan.

After reading your text, I recalled a story that may be of interest. I am unsure if the questioner has previously encountered this narrative, but if so, we might benefit from a brief review. If not, I hope that this story will offer a new perspective and help to resolve the questioner's concerns.

Once upon a time, a man embarked on a quest to identify an optimal location for establishing a settled life. One day, he discovered a promising new place. An elderly woman was seated by the roadside, engaged in an activity beside the flowers. He approached her and inquired about the characteristics of the local population and the environment.

"I am seeking a suitable location in which to establish a permanent residence." The old lady did not directly respond to his inquiry but instead inquired about his place of origin.

He was asked how he had found his previous place of residence. He replied that it had been in a nearby village, that the people there had been very unpleasant, and that the environment had been terrible.

The old lady exhaled and informed him, "In that case, the circumstances are identical here."

On the following day, the same girl approached the old lady and posed the same question. The old lady responded with a similar inquiry, but the girl's response differed. She explained that she found the environment and company agreeable and that she sought exposure to a broader range of experiences. She added that she often changed locations after a period of time to gain exposure to different contexts.

The environment plays a significant role in shaping talent. This is evidenced by the ancient Chinese proverb, "The mother of Mencius moved three times to choose the right place to raise her son." However, there are also individuals who find themselves in challenging circumstances but ultimately succeed in turning their situation around. A person's magnetic field, or the set of characteristics that attract or repel others, is a crucial factor. When we understand our magnetic field, we can attract and be attracted to a similar kind of magnetic field.

You are perceptive and aware of yourself and those around you. If you wish to avoid being in the presence of individuals with excessive negative energy, you may decline such situations directly and tactfully.

It is also possible that one might develop an ability from this group of people that will yield unexpected results at some point in the future.

I extend my warmest wishes for a joyous New Year and for your continued good health.