Worried about what the neighbors might have done, how do you tell if your 2-year-old daughter has been sexually abused?

Hello, question asker!

Thanks for the invite. From your question, I can tell you love your child and are worried about him. It's tough being a mom. Sending hugs!

To be honest, I have a lot of new questions. Let's talk about them together.

First of all, I'm curious why you think your neighbor is mentally ill and against you at every turn. Do you have any evidence to support this? In my opinion, if someone is mentally ill, they may speak and act differently from normal people. This could make it difficult to predict their actions. They may be against you for a while, but they could change for the better. You never know when they might change sides. Another thing to consider is that as a mental patient, they may have difficulty getting along with other people. What I want to say is that what you think, that they are against you at every turn, may not necessarily be true. It's important to think about this matter carefully and not judge them with a normal mindset.

Secondly, I find it strange that the neighbour is so against you. Why do you think she would want to violate your daughter? Did you notice any difference in her behaviour before?

Does he keep an eye on your daughter? Have you noticed anything different?

And you think about this every day, so it's become a pretty big deal for you. Since your description was pretty short, I'm not sure what this is all about.

I also find it strange that you said you forgot to lock the door. I don't know how close you are to your neighbor, but if you forgot to lock the door, can someone just push the door open and enter your home? If that's the case, why wouldn't you be worried that someone who comes to your home will go into every room? You also said there is surveillance, but there are blind spots in surveillance. I think if someone really enters, they will definitely be shown on the video. Besides, for surveillance that is installed on someone else's home, a stranger should not be able to find any blind spots, right?

What about the neighbor who is mentally unstable?

Finally, accept that you're feeling this way. We love our daughter and we can't get rid of these doubts. If we accept them, we can face them and solve them. I'll give you the solution: judge for yourself based on your real-life situation and experience to determine whether the three strange things I mentioned above can be made not strange. If we can't solve this problem, we may be able to do so financially, in which case we should find a professional psychological counselor to solve it.

In saying all of the above, I actually also have a subconscious belief, which is that in the unlikely event that my worries are indeed highly unlikely, that is to say, if the unlikely event does occur, I feel that for a two-year-old, she shouldn't be thinking as much as we adults do. As a mother, I will definitely be able to calm my child down instinctively when she has a need, so I must believe in myself on this point.

As a mother, it's natural to love your child, but we also need to be mindful of how we love them. We need to love ourselves first. I'm genuinely concerned that you're too tired. Find ways to love yourself more!

I believe in you! The world and I love you!

Dear Question Asker, You inquire as to how one might ascertain whether their two-year-old daughter has been sexually abused by a neighbor.

I would like to begin by commending you for your courage in posing your question on this professional psychology platform. I also commend you for your exemplary parenting. Now, let us examine your question together.

You have indicated that your neighbor is mentally ill and frequently engages in behavior that is detrimental to you. Last night, the child's father was absent, leaving only you and the child in the residence. You neglected to secure the door, there are blind spots in the surveillance system, and the child is not in the same room as you. How can you ascertain whether your two-year-old daughter, who is unable to speak, has been sexually abused?

In the event that the child has been sexually assaulted, how might one address her psychological issues?

You are a highly responsible mother.

From the information provided in your question, it is evident that you have a profound concern for your daughter's well-being. Your attention and care for your two-year-old daughter demonstrate that you are a responsible mother.

Your daughter is fortunate to have such a responsible mother and is undoubtedly lucky to have you as her mother. You love her very much. As the saying goes, when you love someone very much, you hold them in the palm of your hand to prevent them from falling, and you hold them in your mouth to prevent them from melting. This kind of love is deeply embedded in your life and your bones.

You are a highly responsible mother and have a profound attachment to your daughter.

It is imperative that your anxiety be addressed.

It is unclear whether you perceive your anxiety as excessive. The motivation behind your neighbor's repeated antagonism is uncertain, but it seems plausible that you harbor deep-seated apprehensions about this individual. These may manifest as feelings of unease, anxiety, and distrust. It is understandable that having an insecure neighbor, particularly one with a two-year-old child, can instill a sense of unease and insecurity.

However, the onset of verbal communication is generally earlier in girls. At the age of two, can your daughter produce a few words? If so, you may inquire as to whether an individual entered her room at night.

It would be reasonable to expect that your daughter would be able to provide a clear and detailed account of the incident. If the neighbor did indeed enter the room and engage in the act of violation, it is unlikely that your daughter would have been entirely unaware of the situation.

From your excessive worry about your daughter, it is evident that you are experiencing a range of negative emotions, including anxiety, tension, unease, and fear. These emotions can have a detrimental impact on cognitive function, limiting the capacity of the brain to engage in calm, rational thinking. It is, therefore, crucial to address these negative emotions in order to facilitate a more constructive approach to the situation at hand.

The field of psychology often posits that it is essential to address one's emotions before attempting to address external matters. This approach allows individuals to clear mental space for more complex problem-solving.

In accordance with the theoretical framework proposed by psychologist Erik Erikson regarding the stages of personality development, the age range between two and three years represents a pivotal period for an individual's linguistic growth.

Your daughter is currently two years of age, which coincides with the critical period for speech development. You are encouraged to engage in more conversation with her and to provide guidance to facilitate the development of her language abilities. With regard to the possibility of sexual assault, should you ascertain the relevant information, you are at liberty to pursue further investigation and to consider the most appropriate methods of inquiry. However, it is my personal opinion that there is no benefit in discovering the truth of an incident that has already occurred. It is of greater importance to ensure the protection of your daughter to prevent any future violations.

Your daughter is currently two years of age, and she will continue to develop throughout her lifetime. Given her age, it is unlikely that any external factors will significantly impact her development. However, it is important to note that her verbal development is a crucial aspect of her overall growth. She is currently in the critical period of verbal development, during which she is still unable to speak.

If a person fails to develop within a critical period, they may still develop later, but at a slower rate. Furthermore, it will require more time and effort to catch up later, so critical periods have a significant impact on a person's development. It is crucial to capitalize on a child's critical period of development.

I hope that my response is of some assistance to you.

The world and I extend our warmest regards to you!

Hello, question asker. I'm Evan.

The questioner had a dispute with the neighbor. They don't know if the two-year-old was molested. They suspect the neighbor did it. Where did they get that idea?

Has the neighbor done anything bad to the daughter before?

Did the neighbor threaten the questioner?

If the questioner is worried her daughter was molested by the neighbor, it's hard to prove. Since some time has passed and there's no sign of damage to the door lock, I believe the questioner's daughter wasn't molested.

I'll give the OP some advice on how to avoid her daughter being molested.

The OP isn't to blame for being molested.

It is not the questioner's fault that your daughter was molested. No matter what you did, it would not have changed that. If the questioner's daughter was molested, it was the molester's fault.

There's no such thing as "you asked for it." Anyone who makes you think this is misleading you. The questioner can take measures to avoid danger, but nothing you do will cause your daughter to be molested.

If something happens, tell the police. Stay safe and look after your family. If you can, avoid your neighbors. If you can't, stand up for yourself.

Teach kids about sex.

Molestation can happen to boys too. The questioner has a child. The questioner should teach their child about sex.

There's lots of info online on how to teach kids to protect themselves from bad things like sexual assault and molestation. If the questioner can share these tips with others, they might be able to help children in the future.

Take precautions.

The questioner said her daughter is only 2 years old, so I don't know why she wants to sleep in a separate room. Generally, an adult should be by a child's side when they sleep alone. The door to the adult's room should be open so the adult can keep an eye on the child.

If the questioner wants to sleep separately from the child, they should take precautions or monitor the situation until the child is more capable of taking care of themselves. I think this is a better approach.

Get help from a professional.

The questioner must not tell their daughter that she was molested. If she does, it will harm her daughter's health and cause her to feel depressed or anxious.

I suggest the questioner find a professional counselor to help them deal with their worries. Otherwise, their emotions will affect their daughter's development.

I hope this helps.

Hello, I am a Heart Detective coach. Everything is easy. I see that your question is: you say your neighbor is mentally ill and often opposes you... Last night, the father of the child was not at home, only you and the child. You forgot to lock the door, and there are blind spots in the surveillance. The child and you are not in the same room. You want to know how to determine whether your two-year-old daughter, who cannot speak, has been sexually assaulted. If she has been sexually assaulted, how do you deal with the child's psychological problems? I will answer your questions.

First of all, I need to know how you came to the conclusion that your child might have been sexually assaulted. What signs led you to believe that the other person had sexually assaulted your child?

Your neighbor is mentally ill and often acts against you. Tell me exactly what he does. Does he make threatening remarks or physical gestures towards your family?

The father of the child is not at home, the door is unlocked, and there are blind spots in the surveillance, so the crime may not be captured. This shows that you have a lot of worries, anxiety, and fear. You have a very strong sense of insecurity. You feel that all the safety measures are not in place, and that the father, who is supposed to be able to protect you and the child, is not at home, which makes you feel very anxious and uneasy.

Your child is two years old. Does he sleep alone? Does he sleep peacefully at night? Have you ever gone to check on him at night?

Secondly, in psychology, projection refers to how a person views others, which reflects the inner self.

From the story told by the questioner, it is clear that the questioner feels the other party is very scary and that she and her daughter feel very unsafe. There is no doubt that her daughter will be hurt and retaliated against by the other party.

The questioner should answer whether they have ever had an experience in the growth process that caused them a strong sense of insecurity. There are many types of harm. The questioner should also explain why they think the child has been sexually assaulted.

It is important to determine whether the sexual assault mentioned by the questioner refers to direct sexual violence. The questioner should check all parts of her daughter's body, including whether there are any signs of invasion in the private parts, whether there are any injuries, bruises, etc. It is also essential to assess her mental state, observe her eating, sleeping, and play patterns, and look for any abnormal behavior. Even if your daughter cannot speak, you can ask her if there is any part of her body that hurts or if she is uncomfortable.

The questioner is certain that her daughter was hurt during the burglary. There are also clear signs of a break-in. Have things in the house been moved around? There are blind spots in the surveillance system, as well as areas that are well-lit. Check the security camera footage from last night to see if there is anything unusual, and whether the perpetrator has been to your home before.

You should know exactly where the surveillance cameras are and where there are blind spots.

The question asker should talk to the father about their uneasy thoughts and get a trusted family member to act together with you to find a solution. There is strength in numbers.

Show your child more love and companionship during the day. At night, sleep with your child or check in on them more often. See if they are kicking the covers, sleeping peacefully, and teach your child to speak or express their emotions, and to point to where it hurts.

I strongly recommend the title owner read the book on children's sex education, "From Diapers to Dating." It will teach the title owner how to give children sex education guidance and teach them to protect themselves.

If you want to communicate with me further, click below to find a coach to interpret, choose Heart Exploration to chat with me one-on-one, and I will be in touch.

Hello, I'm Strawberry!

From the questioner's account and her worries as a mother for her child, and from the questioner's knowledge of the neighbor, and from the neighbor's frequent behavior against the questioner, the questioner feels that the neighbor is mentally ill. From the word "against," it can also be seen that the other person is a challenging person to get along with — but that just means there's an opportunity for growth and improvement!

As the saying goes, "distant relatives are no match for close neighbors." Meeting good neighbors is a blessing, and meeting difficult neighbors is an adventure!

Forget about it!

If we know that the other person is difficult to get along with and we cannot communicate, there's no need to fret! We can simply adopt an attitude of indifference. Not having contact with the other person makes it easier for us to face them without being easily affected by their emotions.

Even if you occasionally bump into each other when you go out, when you can't see or hear each other, you make the other person transparent, letting the other person know that you are an unimportant person to the questioner and not able to arouse any emotions in the questioner. This is a great way to avoid any awkwardness or misunderstandings!

Oh my goodness, has she been sexually assaulted?

Oh my goodness, her husband was not at home, the questioner forgot to lock the door, the two-year-old non-speaking child was not in the same room as her, and the questioner suspected that the neighbor had done something bad to her child!

I'm so excited to find out what her mental state is like today! Does she cry and feel uncomfortable?

Did you notice anything unusual when you bathed the child? It would be great to hear what you observed!

I'm happy to say that the answers to the original poster's questions can actually be found in these few issues. If the child's mental state is normal, it means that there is no drugging or other such situation, which is great news! A two-year-old child will cry if it is in pain, so the original poster can check the child's body while bathing it. If everything is normal, the original poster does not need to worry, which is a wonderful outcome!

The good news is that the questioner's home also has surveillance cameras, although there are a few dead angles. However, from entering through the front door to the room, the other party does not know where the questioner's home surveillance cameras are placed, and they cannot just successfully avoid being filmed by the surveillance cameras.

Don't be overly anxious or worried!

The neighbor is against the questioner at every turn, and this behavior presents an opportunity for growth and improvement. The questioner then associates the neighbor with the possibility of doing such a thing to their daughter. Did the neighbor usually say something to the questioner that made the questioner feel anxious and worried about this kind of thing?

If the other party uses similar threatening language, the questioner can take a picture of it, seek community mediation, or call the police to let them handle it. It is unlikely that the difficult person can be changed by the questioner and her husband using reason. But don't worry! There are plenty of other people in authority who can help.

Perhaps it is because we usually read or hear a lot of such negative information that as parents we worry about our children, which easily leads us to become anxious. But there's no need to fret! Being vigilant and prepared is a great idea, but being over-anxious will drain us internally and affect our normal lives. So let's keep a healthy balance!

We should always be on the lookout for safety issues. For example, if the husband of the question asker was not at home last night, she should check the locks and windows at home. If she is not at ease, she can put something behind the door to block it. She should also save the contact numbers of the people she trusts closest to her and the contact information of the management of the place where she lives.

As long as we do our best, we don't usually come into contact with each other, and we don't worry too much about things that haven't happened yet. This allows us to face and deal with problems more calmly, which is great!

I really hope my answer is helpful to the questioner! Wishing you the best!

Hello, my friend, I understand your concerns.

I can understand your concerns. It is natural to feel uneasy when a neighbor has a mental illness and has a history of antagonizing you. It would be challenging for anyone to remain indifferent in such a situation.

It's natural to feel a little uneasy when we're alone, especially if we're worried about something going wrong. Having the man of the house away from home can make this feeling even stronger.

Secondly, it might be helpful to consider whether you are prone to anxiety. Apart from this situation, do you usually also find yourself worrying about trivial matters that others may not even notice?

If so, it might be helpful to consider whether the things you worry about are likely to be less problematic than you imagine.

It's important to remember that mental illness is not the same as professional criminality. The actions of the mentally ill can be traced. For instance, if you have a camera in your home, there may be blind spots, but the mentally ill are unlikely to be aware of them. If they do gain access to your home, there will likely be evidence. Just because someone is mentally ill does not mean they possess the same abilities as a professional criminal, such as removing traces and avoiding surveillance.

If you still have concerns, you might consider using nearby cameras to see if there are any individuals who may be considered psychopaths during the time period you are concerned about.

If the reality of mental illness leaves you feeling uneasy on a constant basis, it might be helpful to consider a change of scenery. In the case of young children and a husband who may be preoccupied with work, it could be beneficial to explore options like temporary renting or living with extended family.

In regard to your concerns about how to address your child's psychological challenges, if the initial situation does not arise, there is no need to fret about the subsequent one.

I hope this is helpful to you.

Hello, I am Fei Yun, a mindfulness coach.

Your text reveals a strong sense of anxiety. It's understandable that having a "psychotic" neighbor would cause significant distress, to the point of forgetting to lock your door at night.

We are also concerned that this "psychopath" will break into our home and sexually assault our daughter.

You're not concerned about money, property, or offense. You're worried about your daughter being sexually assaulted. You're right to be.

Breathe. Relax. When you're calm, you'll be able to think clearly. Let's share and discuss.

?1. Your worries are justified.

As you stated in your text, the neighbor is "mentally ill" and often acts against you. This makes you think of something bad. While your partner was away last night and you forgot to lock the door again, the neighbor broke in.

The other person is "mentally ill," so he may not necessarily plan and scheme. He needs family members who can care for and supervise him.

The "wrongdoing" here is simply gaining attention through strange behavior, not malice. We often reject and are hostile towards "mental illness."

Second, and most importantly, you were already full of worries about your daughter because she was too young to speak and express herself. You directly associated the bad things with your daughter, rather than with other family possessions or yourself, because you were already preoccupied with her safety.

You need to understand why you are so worried about your daughter, especially why you are worried that she may be sexually assaulted. What have you seen or experienced that fills you with worry and fear?

You need to see things differently to give yourself new options. Worrying makes you lose your mind, and it's easy to lose your rational judgment.

? 2. Communicate with your partner for guidance.

Tell your partner what's on your mind. He can help you figure out what's going on.

If something really happened at night, there would be noise. You can find clues through some details.

After hugging your daughter, you must carefully examine her body to see if there are any signs of injury.

You also need to take some time to relax, most importantly. Is your high level of stress related to other things, such as the current pandemic, a lack of security with your partner not being around, etc.?

Gain understanding and trust from your partner and work together to find a solution to the problem.

I am confident that the above will be helpful to you. The world and I love you.

If you want to continue the conversation, click "Find a Coach" in the upper right corner or at the bottom. I will communicate and grow with you one-on-one.