Would a child who does not heed parental advice and lacks maturity necessarily be more capable and outstanding?

Have a great weekend! I'll give you a hug.

Your logic seems far-fetched. Being disobedient, not understanding things, and being capable are different from person to person. It's not true that children who disobey and are not sensible are more capable and better.

Children who don't listen to their parents may be more independent, but they may also miss out on valuable experiences.

And about ignorance, society is not like family. Family may tolerate you, but society won't. Society needs members who meet expectations. Even if you can't contribute, don't cause trouble.

From birth to adulthood, people are socialized for about 10 to 20 years. Parents are the first teachers. Later, schools, friends, and the media all play a role. This is especially true now, when children start school at age 2 or 3.

In this process, family and school work together to shape a new person who meets social expectations.

If a child is disobedient and immature when they are young, it depends on the situation. There are too many factors that affect success.

And being obedient and sensible doesn't guarantee success.

The reasons for success or failure are never singular.

You were obedient and sensible as a child. Your mother didn't let you play with disobedient children. You were bullied at school, which may have suppressed your natural instincts. This has affected your character and the way you do things. Even as an adult, you still can't express yourself freely.

Children gang up on classmates. Adults have to get along.

In the TV series "The Big Bang Theory," Penny was popular and bullied other students. Amy and Nadette were bullied.

Penny said she was mean in middle school. Bullying is more subtle in adulthood.

You need to regain your sense of worth and self-confidence. Talk to a counselor.

You can also pretend to be strong and refuse. Just act it out and enjoy it. You'll find that even if you become stronger, people won't be as offended.

Go for the bluff. You'll feel better when you do.

Try it.

I'm a counselor who is sometimes depressed but mostly positive.

The qualities of a good child, as taught by parents from an early age, include politeness, obedience, kindness, and non-aggression. However, these qualities have had a negative impact on your social interactions.

It raises questions about the appropriateness of your parents' guidance. You question whether you can only become stronger and better by being a disobedient "bad child."

However, your upbringing has instilled in you a sense of responsibility and a desire to avoid being perceived as a "bad child." This has created a sense of internal conflict.

I don't believe you aspire to be a disobedient "bad boy." Rather, you're exploring the potential of disobedience to yield a different outcome and to navigate interactions with others in a way that avoids hurt. You're simply seeking to avoid further pain.

Firstly, I would like to extend my congratulations. Displaying a desire to challenge authority is indicative of personal growth. The authority of your parents is gradually being questioned, which marks the beginning of the pursuit of truth.

Furthermore, you are concerned that if you truly "disobey," the consequences may not be as favorable as you anticipate. Will you truly be able to avoid the pain and become stronger?

In the event of an unsuccessful outcome, will your parents respond with ridicule or blame?

Once a thought is formed, it is challenging to dispel. If it is not tested, the feelings of both longing and fear, as well as the actual difficulties, can be overwhelming. Change requires courage. In fact, there is no need to rush to make big changes all at once. A gradual approach, similar to eating a mouthful of rice at a time, can be more effective.

It would be advisable to begin with relatively minor issues and to allow yourself to become accustomed to the experience of rejection. It is important to remember that it is the situation, rather than the individual, that is being rejected.

Due to time constraints, I will conclude here for now. It is acceptable to either remain in your current position or attempt to make a change. Neither option is incorrect.

Hello, question asker! I'm Enoch, your answerer!

I can see that the questioner has a lot of potential to adapt well to school life! With a few adjustments to his personality, he can become more sociable and avoid being bullied.

There are so many reasons why the OP is in this situation!

The questioner's own temperament may be a fascinating combination of phlegmatic and sanguine types. People with this temperament type are often drawn to developing an avoidant personality under the influence of the environment. Because temperament has a certain degree of heredity, and at the same time, they may be influenced by their parents in the original family and acquire some ways of dealing with things, the questioner has formed a unique pattern of not associating with people who are not the same type as themselves under the influence of their parents. This also makes the questioner an individual with the opportunity to develop excellent interpersonal skills and choose to avoid in interpersonal interactions. However, this approach does not allow them to withdraw unscathed, but instead makes them an individual who is always learning how to respond comfortably in interpersonal interactions.

On a positive note, the questioner has been particularly obedient and well-behaved since childhood, and loves to joke around, which has formed the habit of not expressing oneself. At the same time, being too obedient has also led to one's meekness, which presents an exciting opportunity for growth! The questioner is now ready to learn how to resist when others bully him, which will help him adapt well to his environment.

The questioner is ready to make a change! He's realized that his kindness and gentleness towards others haven't been rewarded as much as they deserve, and that he's even been a target for bullying. But now, he's ready to embrace a new approach. Hugs to the questioner!

The original poster should definitely not deny themselves! There are so many people who recognize and like your good qualities. It's just inevitable that there will be some people in the crowd who are a bit discordant. For these people, you should try to avoid contact as much as possible and also reduce your association with them. But if you have no choice but to come into contact with them, try not to provoke these people! At the same time, make more friendly friends in your class. If you have a lot of friends, others naturally will not dare to bully you!

Cherish your close friends! If you don't see eye to eye with someone, try not to get into arguments. If you can't avoid it, seek help from your family and teachers so that those who bully you don't feel emboldened.

Hello, host! Smile!

I understand your question better now, so I'll give you a hug.

I understand your problems, and I can help.

The child who doesn't listen to his parents and is inconsiderate will become more capable and better when he grows up. Many people like him grew up in a family environment like yours. Don't put too much pressure on yourself. Take your time and give yourself more time and energy to digest the problems you encounter in the present.

You can do it too. You know what you need to work on. You're already better than those who don't know what they need to work on. Take your time. You'll get there.

I have also summarized some methods to help you.

(1) Relax and take things slowly. Don't put too much pressure on yourself.

(2) Their parents tried to educate them in the best way they knew, but they were also first-time parents.

You still have a long life ahead. You can spend more time improving your character and making it comfortable in most social situations.

(4) Don't let the past affect you too much.

(5) Believe that there's a pleasing part of your personality. It's just that you sometimes focus on your shortcomings. Take it slow and give yourself more time. It's not all your problem.

(6) Explore yourself more and know your inner needs to understand yourself and find ways to change.

The world loves you.

Good luck!

Hello! I happened to see the questioner's question and would like to offer a few thoughts. I believe that your parents' education of you represents their perception of you. I also believe that they have a good image of people in life and that they don't offend people. I don't deny that the education of the previous generation has brought a lot of negative impacts on children's growth in many cases.

You say you were a good child growing up, gentle and kind. These are not shortcomings, because kindness is a beautiful quality in humans. It is precisely because you are kind that you can consider the needs of others, isn't it?

However, your kindness may sometimes be misinterpreted as weakness, which can lead to bullying. Perhaps you are often reluctant to refuse others, eager to help your classmates, obedient, and well-behaved, which could make others feel that they can take advantage of you.

But do you really want to be bullied? Of course not. It's important to remember that there is a limit to kindness. Kindness without a limit can sometimes come across as indulgent.

I believe that your family of origin has had an impact on you. It's possible that your parents may have been strict with you from an early age, expecting unconditional obedience from you. Or it's possible that your parents may have been emotional, scaring you of conflict, so that you have lost the strength to resist and continue to behave in the same way as you did in your family environment. But the fact that you are asking this question today means that you are beginning to wake up and that you don't want to continue like this, right? If I may, I'd like to suggest a few ways to do this:

Could I ask you to list your inner fears and fears?

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider what you might be afraid of if you were unable to refuse your classmates. Similarly, what are your concerns if you feel unable to refuse your parents?

Perhaps you could consider what you might be afraid of if you were unable to resist bullying. It might be helpful to make the event more concrete and the feelings of fear within you more concrete. The more detailed you are, the more you will understand your own fears.

For example, "I don't listen to my parents because I'm afraid they'll get angry and stop loving me," "I'm afraid to say no to my friends, because I'm afraid they'll hate me and ignore me, and isolate me." When you understand yourself, imagine that you are faced with something that requires you to say no, and ask yourself, "Is it really necessary to be afraid?"

"Is it truly essential for them to like me?"

2. Consider learning to say no to others in small things, starting with your parents. You may wish to try refusing your parents' requests and doing things your way. This could help to gradually build up your strength.

3. As in any other relationship, it may be helpful to consider learning to say no to their demands, while also being mindful of the impact on the relationship. It might be beneficial to view this from another perspective: "If they truly consider me a friend, they will value my input."

If you are concerned about being disliked by others, I suggest reading the book The Courage to Be Disliked. I've found that psychology books can be helpful for spiritual growth.

4. When faced with bullying at school, I'm curious if you've ever considered speaking up or seeking help. It would also be helpful to know what stage you're at, whether you've already entered society. Have you ever tried doing something you've always wanted to do but were afraid to do? It might be helpful to experience what it feels like.

It's akin to riding a roller coaster: you're initially fearful when you're not on it, but once you're on, it's not as daunting as you'd imagined, is it? Whether it's bullying in the past or social relationships in the present, it's important to confront your inner self.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider whether you want to be your true self or the self that is recognized by others. It's understandable if you're not sure which path to take. Either way, it's important to remember that this requires a process, and you can take your time, trying to make breakthroughs. It's only through brave attempts again and again that your inner strength can grow, and only then can real change be brought about.

If it is within your means, you may wish to consider seeking the guidance of a counselor.

My name is Mingyang, and I just wanted to say that I love you all around the world!

Our personalities are shaped by so many different things!

Every personality is special and has its own unique set of strengths and challenges.

A well-behaved and sensible child may grow up to be outstanding or not. It's hard to say!

I truly believe that the key to being outstanding is not whether you are "well-behaved and sensible" in the eyes of others, but whether you have your own decisions and ideas, and whether you love yourself enough. Even if you have a quiet and gentle personality, you can still be very powerful. You may have a good reputation and others may think you are a good person, but you also have your own principles and boundaries.

So, the personality trait of being considerate may be something you're born with, or it could be something that's developed because you want to make other people happy. Either way, it's a wonderful quality!

I truly believe that every personality has its own wonderful advantages. And you know what? A person's personality can also change and be shaped by themselves. It's not set in stone!

If you feel like your current situation is a result of your personality, you can take a closer look at the strengths of this personality based on your current personality.

You have two great options! You can either learn to make the most of the wonderful qualities you already have, or you can try to make some changes to your personality.

After all, changing your character can to a certain extent rewrite your destiny and life path! It's actually quite interesting. I'd love to know if you have any expectations for a different you!