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You are 27 years old, single, and your parents are pressuring you to get married, but you don't know what to do?

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You are 27 years old, single, and your parents are pressuring you to get married, but you don't know what to do? By Anonymous | Published on December 18, 2024

My parents started to pressure me to find a boyfriend when I was 27, but I don't know why I want to get married. I often feel that I'm better off alone. Finding a partner is exhausting, and I'm afraid of choosing the wrong person, so I simply don't choose. I feel that I can't solve the difficulties I'll encounter after getting married. Some time ago, I participated in a blind date reading club, and a lot of guys liked me, but I gave up when I saw that I wasn't ranked high.

My rational mind tells me to find a marriage partner and fall in love, but in reality, I find finding a partner very tiring. I'm having a hard time at this stage, and I don't know what to do. There are so many people, and it's really hard to know what you want. You want a lot, but there are so few options. I'm scared.

Paul Young Paul Young A total of 4047 people have been helped

Good day, I can see that you are experiencing some confusion, so I am sending you a warm hug to help you feel more at ease.

Please be advised that you are currently experiencing some difficulties in your romantic life. I would like to offer you a warm embrace once more.

You are currently 27 years of age, and your parents are encouraging you to consider marriage. This is a natural expectation at your age.

It is possible that you may already be married by this age.

Furthermore, it is generally considered optimal for women to have a child before the age of 30.

Prior to meeting my current husband, I held a similar view to yours.

However, following the meeting, I am now optimistic about the prospect of marriage.

You believe that remaining single is preferable because you have not yet encountered the ideal partner.

It is not necessarily the case that you will meet him in your lifetime simply because you have not done so yet.

It would be beneficial to consider why you are apprehensive about entering into a marriage with an unsuitable partner.

This may be related to your own current family of origin.

Perhaps you observe your parents engaged in frequent disagreements, with one instance occurring every three days and another occurring every two days. This observation may lead you to conclude that marriage is a potential obstacle to maintaining a loving relationship.

You are not inclined to replicate the marital dynamics observed in your parents' relationship.

If this is the case, I recommend seeking the assistance of a professional counselor, preferably one who specializes in issues related to the original family.

I hope that the issue you are currently experiencing can be resolved as soon as possible.

I have no further suggestions at this time.

I hope my above responses are helpful and inspiring to you, the young lady. I am the solution, and I study diligently every day.

On behalf of Yixinli, I would like to extend my best wishes to you.

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Silas Rodriguez Silas Rodriguez A total of 7847 people have been helped

It is recommended that the questioner be embraced.

It appears that the majority of girls and young women within the marriageable age range have been encouraged to pursue marriage, even in instances where they have not yet done so.

My recommendation is to avoid hasty decisions and to prioritize self-discovery.

A beneficial relationship is one in which two individuals come together as their authentic selves, recognizing their individual goals and pathways to achieving them.

It is, of course, possible to discuss matters of a romantic nature, but the institution of marriage should be approached with a certain degree of seriousness.

Being in a relationship can facilitate an understanding of one's self and one's needs in an intimate relationship. It can also assist in determining who is the optimal partner.

It is commendable that you attended the book reading, yet it is not necessary to conform to the expectations of others. It is noteworthy that a considerable number of individuals included the man's contact information, which you found to be an inconvenience.

This indicates that you are an unconventional individual, demonstrating a reluctance to conform to the prevailing norms.

However, at a fundamental level, you perceive the man to be an excellent prospect and are concerned about the potential consequences of missing out on this opportunity.

You are concerned about the potential for your age to become a disadvantage as you progress through life.

One's desire to act may be thwarted by a lack of serious consideration of one's wants and a consequent lack of knowledge regarding the most effective means of achieving them.

Only those who are fully cognizant of their genuine aspirations will be willing to engage in contemplation and action.

It is therefore recommended that you try more and make contact with different people.

The Internet is replete with a vast array of knowledge and informative videos from knowledgeable bloggers. It is now relatively straightforward to enhance one's knowledge.

Through the processes of learning and thinking, an individual can gradually develop their own unique perspective on the world.

Subsequently, it is imperative to engage in further reflection on one's core values and ascertain a personal set of values.

Your values will inform your understanding of the kind of person you should seek out as a partner.

It is imperative to identify a partner who aligns with your values and whose life trajectory is congruent with yours.

It is therefore advisable to avoid hasty decisions regarding marriage and to engage in a period of reflection, experimentation, and action.

Once a decision has been made regarding one's desired outcome and the associated goals, it is then necessary to select a course of action.

First, one must become independent, then financially independent, and finally mentally independent.

Consequently, if one were to engage in these activities, one would become a highly attractive woman.

The underlying rationale for identifying a suitable partner is to cultivate one's own positive attributes and then attract another individual who also possesses these qualities.

If one cultivates one's personal growth and development, the desired outcome will be the emergence of positive emotional states, such as joy and contentment.

I wish you the best of success!

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Annabelle Nguyen Annabelle Nguyen A total of 5870 people have been helped

From your description, it is evident that you are experiencing a range of negative emotions, including fear, confusion, and distress. The challenges in your relationship, which were previously associated with positive experiences, have now become a source of significant distress. The pressure from your parents to marry, coupled with the difficulties in exploring your options, is creating a sense of helplessness and anxiety.

The objective of this investigation is to ascertain how individuals can effectively navigate this challenging period. To this end, we will engage in a collaborative exploration of the subject matter.

The question thus arises as to whether it is indeed the case that "it's nice to be alone."

When considering matters of dating, falling in love, and the potential difficulties that may arise in marriage, many individuals feel a sense of powerlessness. This can lead to the belief that it is preferable to be alone. Is it possible to examine this perspective further?

What is the life situation of an individual who genuinely espouses this perspective? Could you please describe it?

What are the views of those who espouse this perspective on love and marriage? Do they align with your own?

– Do you have any acquaintances who are contentedly single, or do you have any role models who you admire in this regard?

To what extent do you utilize this perspective as a means of alleviating concerns pertaining to romantic relationships and marriage in actual life situations?

The objective of this round of exploration is to ascertain and accept the true psychological state. It is hypothesized that individuals who espouse this perspective may not experience significant challenges in their marital relationships.

Thus, it would be beneficial to ascertain whether you have reached this conclusion.

The question thus arises as to whether one is able to accept oneself.

In the context of romantic relationships, the foundation of love is rooted in purity, regardless of the timing of its inception.

There are innumerable examples of romantic relationships, yet a fulfilling love must be founded upon the commitment of marriage. It is never too late to embark upon this journey.

Therefore, it is essential to adjust one's perception and establish one's own sense of boundaries, not for worldly considerations, to meet the expectations of family members, to avoid the embarrassment of reality, etc. When it comes to the person who is worth spending a lifetime with, it is possible to wait and it is best not to settle.

—Love at first sight is when I am prepared to dedicate my entire life to this person.

I am prepared to dedicate my life to the pursuit of a long-term, slow-burning love.

The "better to be alone than in the wrong company" approach is to be willing to spend one's entire life awaiting the arrival of an appropriate partner.

Regardless of the type of love involved, it is reasonable within the context of this world and has the potential to lead to a lifetime of happiness. The crucial factor is determining the fundamental conditions that one is willing to accept in order to commit to a relationship.

The fundamental premise of each condition is to respect the feelings and needs of the individual, rather than attempting to meet the expectations of the external world and family.

It is therefore a normal psychological reaction to experience feelings of anxiety and confusion at this time, due to the pressure to get married, the difficulties encountered in blind date relationships, and the anxiety that arises from these circumstances. It is important to accept the current state of one's self-perception, but it is also essential to establish clear boundaries in one's attitude towards marriage and love. Having a clear understanding of the circumstances one is in is crucial for making an informed decision about marriage.

It should be noted that positive action does not preclude the undertaking of seemingly inconsequential efforts.

You mentioned that you had attended a blind date with a book club, but you ultimately decided to cancel because you were concerned about not being able to obtain the contact information for the individual in question due to the large number of people who were interested in doing so. However, you had a positive impression of him, correct?

This is the manner in which the world operates: attempting to alter another individual's behavior will result in a loss of control. Conversely, focusing on one's own personal growth and development may lead to a restoration of equilibrium.

The issue has been a source of distress for an extended period. It is hoped that the parents are not excessively preoccupied with the institution of marriage, that one can experience an immediate affinity with a prospective partner upon meeting them, that the other members of the book club will offer their support, and that there will be a multitude of potential romantic interests to consider. However, these expectations are not within our control.

One can decide whether one prefers to remain single or not. If the latter is the case, one can choose to believe in the purity of love, that it is never too late to start a relationship, set one's own "boundary rules" for love, and then let go of one's anxieties and start with even the smallest effort, for example.

It is recommended that the individual in question attend additional blind date parties and wait in line for as long as it takes, provided that they feel a spark of interest.

— Enhance your capacity to present yourself in a more favorable light.

— Engaging in activities such as reading and exercising to enhance one's temperament and present oneself in a more attractive manner.

—Do not impose constraints on the concept of love, nor should one abandon one's endeavors solely due to concerns pertaining to the potential challenges inherent in marriage.

– Rather than being apprehensive about marriage, it would be more beneficial to cultivate the skills necessary for a successful marital life, such as communication and cooking, etc.

If one believes that love belongs to the two of you for eternity, then one should focus on "what can I do to make this happen" rather than "what anxieties do I have because of it." Affirmation of the self is beneficial, even if it is only a small step, and focus on the goal is encouraged.

It is recommended that you consider the type of love you desire and take incremental steps towards it. It is important to recognize that there is no need to be concerned about the potential for missed opportunity or the opinions of others. Allowing yourself the necessary time to navigate these challenges is crucial.

Alternatively, one may choose to embody a persona that is not constrained by the bonds of romantic attachment, but rather, is capable of embracing the fullness of life with a sense of freedom and joy.

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Courtney Courtney A total of 7976 people have been helped

The topic of marriage is one that has been prevalent in our society for many years. It often seems that as soon as you turn 18, your parents will begin to encourage you to fall in love, get married, and have children. In some cases, the expectation is to fulfill the three-child policy, which can lead to pressure to start a family sooner.

Then, within three years of starting work, you might find yourself in a position to buy a house, a car, save up a million yuan, and reach the pinnacle of your career. It's an appealing prospect, but the reality is not always straightforward. Navigating the challenges along the way can be difficult.

It can sometimes feel as though we are up against unexpected challenges when we encounter bosses and obstacles on our path to finding a partner.

At twenty-seven, you find yourself single and your parents are encouraging you to consider marriage. You are unsure of the best way forward.

Some people encourage you to fall in love, but it's not always clear why.

Finding a partner can be a challenging and exhausting process, especially when you're content with being single.

It can be quite exhausting.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider some of the potential challenges and obstacles that could arise.

It is also not uncommon to encounter obstacles along the way. It can often seem as if others are setting up challenges for themselves.

Additionally, there are numerous competitors, and with only a little bit of resources, we have to set aside our dignity and expend our time and energy. This is also a consequence of introversion.

It is important to respect your true feelings and maintain boundaries with the outside world.

It's important to remember that other people can't control or decide for you.

Try to be yourself. It's beneficial to like yourself.

It is also worth noting that social news has recently highlighted a number of interesting trends. For instance, there has been a discussion about the potential impact of Shanghai's unblocking on the divorce rate. Additionally, there has been a noticeable decline in the natural population growth rate in recent years. Similarly, the marriage rate has also shown a downward trend in recent times. It is possible that these trends are influenced by a range of factors.

Some parents may also be concerned that their children are not engaging in certain activities or that they are not being entirely truthful.

Some people are concerned that they may not have anyone to carry on their family name or that their credit card spending habits or family wealth may not be inherited. Alternatively, it could be an instinct, an idea that is deeply ingrained, an idea of passing on the family name that motivates and drives them forward.

It is understandable that not everyone is certain about the reasons behind falling in love, getting married, or having children.

It is worth noting that this kind of thing is not a necessity in itself and is not compulsory. In today's age of highly developed information networks, we are faced with an overwhelming amount of information, which can sometimes make it challenging to prioritize our time. It is understandable that we may not always have the opportunity to fall in love or pursue some of our personal interests. However, it is important to recognize that now is the time to be mindful of our choices and to make decisions that align with our values and goals.

Perhaps it would be beneficial to consider facing life and some of the control and advice of others. It's possible that their advice may not always be entirely accurate, as it's based on their own experiences. We all have our own ideas, values, world views, and outlooks on life, and it's important to recognize that.

You may also be concerned about making the wrong choice, experiencing hardship, putting in the effort, being evaluated, and the potential for others to present an idealized version of themselves. You might even wish to find the perfect partner. However, it's important to recognize that there is no absolute "best" in any situation. All competition is simply a matter of not meeting stronger opponents.

As ordinary people, we have very few choices, and this can make us feel quite helpless. In real life, there is often a 20/80 rule, which means that those who have a lot of resources are often already very good and outstanding, but somehow God will give them even more resources, while those with few resources will not be deprived of more rights.

In other words, the world's love and money tend to go to those who are already well-off. This is a rather unscientific and perhaps even a little unnerving phenomenon. As ordinary people, we can only try to guide ourselves forward with our own way of acting and our own values.

If you are able to resist external influence, I would encourage you to hold fast to your beliefs. We are all free to choose our path in life, and I believe we can avoid becoming trapped by others' expectations. I would suggest that you consider speaking with a psychological counselor if you feel this could be helpful.

Could I ask you a question, ZQ?

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Landon Wilson Landon Wilson A total of 6963 people have been helped

Hello.

The questioner is trying to see if they should enter into an intimate relationship. They are waiting for an answer from within, but the result is not a positive embrace of all possibilities. Instead, they feel hesitation, helplessness, and fear.

1. I'm going to show you how to get along with "Fearful Jun."

Fear causes unpleasant physical reactions. When fear takes over, the brain becomes tired and people act more constrained.

This is a really troublesome "Fear Lord."

As the master of your own body, you must have a conversation with "Fearful Jun." Ask him what he is afraid of.

I want to know what kind of comfort and care is the warmest for "Fear Lord." I also want to know what kind of impact is the most avoidable for "Fear Lord."

You will adjust yourself to your best state to accompany "Fearful Jun" until it is finally embraced by "Warm Jun."

2. Make a choice when you are at a loss.

When you're at a loss, it can feel like you have no choice. You might try one thing after another, but you're exhausted and half-hearted.

The need for marriage is a promise that parents repeatedly tell their daughters to fulfill.

In society, it seems that everyone around the same age gets married and has children. However, we must not forget that falling in love is about enjoying the fun of being connected to someone and sharing the sweet and sour moments of life together. It is not formulaic, and it is certainly not utilitarian.

The inner anxiety and conflict are a result of the rigid views of marriage held by others in the surrounding environment being completely copied in the mind. And the self-attack, "I want a lot," is just that—a self-attack. It's just that I've heard too much...

My past attempts have shown me that I must cherish my time, make my own choices, and speak up for myself. These are crucial for women in today's society. Once I stabilize my mindset, I will be ready to make the choice that is truly comfortable for me, whether that's getting married or staying single.

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Caroline Nguyen Caroline Nguyen A total of 855 people have been helped

I offer you a hug to help you cope with your confusion.

It would appear that being pressured to get married is a common experience for single people, and it can have a significant impact on their decision-making process.

From my perspective, your parents' pressure to marry is causing you anxiety, confusion, and a lack of direction.

You have indicated that you currently perceive the single life to be quite satisfactory and that a more straightforward existence is appealing. You have stated that you are unable to identify a compelling rationale for marriage and that you are concerned about your ability to navigate the challenges that you anticipate encountering in such a relationship. You have mentioned that you had the opportunity to interact with a prominent individual within a book club, but you ultimately chose to disengage due to the considerable number of attendees. You have observed that there are numerous individuals within the social circle, yet the range of potential partners who align with your personal preferences is limited.

I'm here to support you. Let's try to understand your perspective based on your description.

One possible reason for your reticence to enter into a marital relationship is the uncoordinated love lives of your parents or other relatives, which may have given you an uncomfortable psychological experience. This may have led to doubts and shadows about the mode of getting along between the two parties in a relationship. This can make a person lose some of the motivation to enter into marriage because they are afraid that they will repeat their mistakes.

However, it is likely that you will still desire a loving relationship and a supportive family unit. There is a great deal of evidence to suggest that happy marriages are the envy of many, and that we all aspire to a similar level of relationship satisfaction.

As a female, you may exhibit a more passive and timid demeanor in relationships, a tendency to be reserved and restrained, and a certain degree of uncertainty about yourself. However, this does not preclude the possibility of loving and being loved.

The reason for your current reticence may be that you have not yet encountered the individual who is destined to become your partner. Furthermore, you have not yet fully opened your heart to the possibility of forming a deeper emotional connection. However, when the time comes for you to meet your future spouse, you will also strive to run to them.

The shadow's back is light. Follow your feelings, listen to your heart, don't let parental urging upset your rhythm, and don't lose yourself in a moment of confusion.

Continue on your current course of action, as there is a possibility that your desired outcome may be achieved shortly.

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Amelia Rose Taylor Amelia Rose Taylor A total of 6956 people have been helped

Dear questioner, I'm so excited to answer your question!

At the age of 27, you were pressured by your family to get married, a problem that many women of the same age face. You must have been filled with anxiety and stress, just like them. On the one hand, you didn't know why you should fall in love and get married; on the other hand, you were worried about meeting the wrong person. Even if you met a good husband, you didn't know how to solve the problems you encountered after marriage. All these worries made you somewhat resistant to arranged marriages—but you were also excited about the prospect of finding your perfect match!

When you feel that you are fine on your own, it often means that you really enjoy spending time alone and do not rely on others. This is an amazing ability that many people envy. However, the ability of some people to be alone is actually full of sadness. It may be that when you were young, your parents were too busy to take good care of you, and they even failed to keep their promises to you sometimes. As a result, you think that you are not valued and loved, and you cannot easily trust others. You can only trust yourself, so you are used to being lonely and find it difficult to trust others. But there is hope!

It's not easy to develop a good intimate relationship when you're older. That's why you feel tired when looking for a partner and are afraid of choosing the wrong person. But don't worry! There are ways you can make it easier for yourself.

So what can you do?

If you feel that this situation is a bit familiar and similar to your own childhood experiences, you can take action! 1. Find a quiet place to lie down, close your eyes, and return to the neglected little girl you were as a child. Give her a big hug and say to her, "Don't be afraid, I'm not afraid. I'm grown up now, and I'll protect you, I'll play with you." Accept that lonely self of yours and embrace her!

2. If you didn't get the chance to build a strong bond with your parents when you were younger, you can make up for it now! Spend more time with them and show them how much you care. This will help you to trust others and build strong, intimate relationships.

When you trust yourself, you learn to be alone well. When you trust others, you discover a whole new kind of intimacy. I think you also long to be loved forever and ever, until the end of time. So start by trusting him!

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Patrick Collins Patrick Collins A total of 6360 people have been helped

Hello, question asker. I understand that 27 is not young, and it is normal for parents to urge you to get married. It is also normal to not know the meaning of falling in love and getting married, and to be a little resistant. My name is Xiaoxiaomici, and I am a floating ball, a psychological counselor on the Laiyi psychological platform, training in an internship.

Thank you for the opportunity to answer your question. I will take a moment to analyze your current situation and try to predict the scenarios that your thoughts might lead to in the future.

From my own experience, I believe that living with someone is a more fulfilling way to live than a single life. When you are sick, for instance, it is easier to understand that your parents will eventually grow old and unable to take care of you until they die if you live with them.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider who might be there to care for you when you have a headache or a cold. The answer may be found in your heart.

You are now 27 years old, born in the 1990s, have a stable job, and have achieved some success at work. You earn a good income, or just an average income. You are probably an only child, right? Or maybe you have a sibling. Have you considered planning for your future?

Have you ever considered the possibility that accidents might occur in life? Have you thought about how you might prepare in advance to deal with these unexpected events?

It is often said that it is wise to be prepared for the worst.

At your age and with your education, what do you think the general social environment will be like? Many Dinks don't have children and enjoy life for themselves nowadays. The population is aging, and there are not enough new births. The first people to advocate the DINK lifestyle are already in their 50s. There are also many single-child families who have lost their children in their middle years. You can search online about the current situation of these elderly people's lives, and then look at national policies. It's a kind way of living. If you are willing to have children, you can have three children, but you are never forced to.

In this way, decades later, the Dinks will be gone, and people with narrow minds will have no need to pass on their ideas. Those who remain will be the ones who have shouldered the responsibility of the species. Reproduction is a necessary responsibility for every species. If your thinking is not advanced, you may find yourself no longer in the lineage of this species, even a hundred years later.

Now that you're 27 years old, you feel like you can do anything on your own. In ten years, you'll be 37, which is almost the same age as me. I'd like to tell you about my current situation. My husband and I work in the same company, and we're both entry-level employees. We commute together, leaving the house at 7am and arriving home at 10pm, which can be quite challenging. My husband drives, I cook, and he does the dishes. We used to live with my mother-in-law, and there were a lot of conflicts, but at least we could eat at home. My husband really enjoyed that life, and he didn't want me to do the dishes or any of the other chores.

I would also like to enjoy that kind of life, but I am unable to do so. It is important for children to be educated, and there are many differing opinions on how to educate children across different generations. As a result, I have decided to live separately from my mother-in-law.

Previously, we engaged in discussions about the possibility of divorce, but ultimately, we were unable to reach a resolution. My husband was reluctant to pursue divorce, and as a result, our arguments have persisted, becoming increasingly intense. I must admit, I no longer find myself contemplating divorce. I recognize that these arguments were largely driven by emotional outbursts. When I was ill, my husband demonstrated care and consideration by ensuring I had access to medicine and water. When he realized I was unable to cook, he approached my mother-in-law to request assistance, which she kindly provided. Despite my initial discomfort, I completed the cooking, but when I returned, I was still met with criticism. I felt a sense of disappointment, but upon seeing the numerous bags of food, I was reminded of his continued affection and care. If you're single and you say something hurtful, you might die in bed and never know when you'll be found.

In ten years, I may not have much experience to offer you, but I have a suggestion. Have you ever considered asking your mother how she feels, watching you grow up day by day over the past few years? It might be helpful to understand her feelings, whether they are painful or happy.

In another ten years, your physical and mental strength may not be as robust as it is now, and you may even find it challenging to complete your work to the best of your abilities. You may experience occasional forgetfulness, but your children will always be at the forefront of your mind. This is the essence of marriage. If you're single, you may be able to accomplish your tasks, but you'll likely feel unwell and in need of spiritual solace. You may feel a sense of emptiness inside, and your illness may not receive the care it deserves. Endless loneliness may accompany you, troubling your heart and soul. At this time, you'll be approaching 60 years old, and according to the current retirement delay plan, it's time for you to retire. If you're in good health, you can travel and enjoy yourself for a few years. However, if you're not in good health, you may have to consider moving to a nursing home. You can visit a nursing home now to gain a sense of what it's like and experience the atmosphere a few times as a volunteer. Then, you can reflect on whether that's the kind of life you want when you're old.

If you are the only child of your parents and given your financial situation, it might be challenging to provide them with a comfortable old age. For example, it could be difficult to find them a relatively high-end nursing home. And if one of them gets seriously ill, it might be tough to afford the medical bills and nursing fees. You are just one person, and you can't do everything yourself. My three siblings and I are all ordinary people, and we haven't been able to provide our parents with a relatively good old age. It's a difficult decision, but it's worth asking yourself if you can do it. It's not enough for the elderly to be rich. When people grow old, they need a spiritual life more. Seeing their children often and meeting their grandchildren often is enough.

You may wish to consider the possibility of marriage. It would be wise to choose your partner carefully and not to rush into things. It is important to take responsibility for yourself and for both families. If you feel you need further advice, you could make an appointment with a marriage and relationship counselor to discuss your options.

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Phoebe Violet Campbell Phoebe Violet Campbell A total of 4971 people have been helped

Hello, host. I'm honored to answer your question. It seems like you're annoyed about being 27, your family pushing you to get married, and not having a clear prospect for marriage.

Marriage is a big change in anyone's life, especially for women. Some people even say that marriage is a woman's second rebirth. There's nothing wrong with being cautious. At 27, it's a good age to get married. If you want to get married, you can consider finding a man who isn't perfect but has no serious flaws.

Good marriages have a plan for when problems arise. Bad marriages avoid or ignore problems, which leads to more serious issues that cannot be resolved.

I have summed up four things that make a marriage successful.

The first dimension is how the two partners see themselves in the marriage. If they don't differ much, what does the man think makes an excellent man?

What are a woman's ideas of what it means to be a good woman? Does the man agree?

Do women like men's standards?

The second dimension is about goals. What do the man and the woman want their future family life to be like? Are there good examples of couples to look to?

Are both people ready to work hard for this goal?

The third dimension is the ability to solve practical problems. In married life, both spouses must communicate and work together. They can teach each other new skills to improve their communication and practical abilities. If they understand each other and can support each other's strengths, it will help them avoid many conflicts.

The fourth dimension is the circumferential boundary. Although the husband-wife relationship is the most important, there are still boundaries between the two. Once each person crosses the other's physical or psychological bottom line, irreconcilable conflicts will arise. In marriage, the husband and wife should agree on what is mine and what is ours, and the standards need to be basically consistent. They can have disagreements, but they can negotiate under the premise that with this standard, they can avoid conflicts caused by entering each other's personal space.

These four-dimensional guidelines can be used, but they are indispensable. They are like the guardrails on a bridge. It is because of the guardrails that we can safely and boldly walk on the bridge. It is because of these four-dimensional guidelines that we can safeguard the happiness and bliss of our married life. I am Happy to Have You 1983.

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Frederick King Frederick King A total of 9661 people have been helped

Hello friend! It's so important to understand that marriage is your freedom. You have the right to choose who you marry, and no one has the right to force you to marry someone you don't like for any reason. Marriage is a wonderful thing, and it should indeed be taken seriously. Treating it like a game is not only irresponsible to yourself, but also extremely irresponsible to your family and your children.

So, what should we do when we are pressured to get married? Well, I have six pieces of advice that I'm really excited to share with you!

First, achieve complete independence—and I mean both financial independence and personal independence!

First, let's talk about financial independence. This is an amazing step! Once you start working, you should be completely financially independent and no longer need to rely on your parents.

This is an amazing time! You will have more say and decision-making power. If you still can't do anything independently and are still a "sponge child," you have the chance to fight back and make a change.

And there's more! Personal independence is also very important. Some people may worry, "What if my parents are sad if I go for this personal independence?"

This is almost a necessary process, so don't be sad! It's an exciting time because parents and children get to figure out where the boundaries lie and which matters they can discuss with you and which you must listen to.

If you don't have this process of struggle, you'll never achieve complete personal independence in the family. But don't worry! You can do it!

Second, it's time to learn why your parents want you to get married!

The good news is that most of the time, parents who urge their children to get married are not trying to control them. They are just worried about their children and want to know what plans they have as they get older.

If you have your own complete plan, you can sit down and talk to your parents. For example, you can tell your parents that in the collective in the city where you are, no one of your age has gotten married yet. This is your chance to show them what you've got!

If I get married now, it might seem a little out of place with them. But I'm definitely still considering getting married in the future!

But I know I'll meet the right person when the time is right. When parents know that you have a very clear understanding of yourself, a very correct assessment, and a complete plan, I think their anxiety will decrease significantly, and they will be much less likely to rush you.

Third, what if I really have no choice?

Remember this: uncompromising without being hostile. Uncompromising without being hostile means that I don't want to do it, but it's not because I hate you! It's because I think this is something I should decide on my own, and you don't need to get involved.

This is being firm without being hostile. You refuse your parents not because you don't love them, but because you have your own complete and independent personality, and that's a wonderful thing!

In this situation, you really need to be able to tell them firmly that I will consider this matter myself, that I have my own plans, that I have my own decisions to make, and that I also have my own decisions to make, so I don't need you to push me too much for the time being. I can listen to your opinions, but if you want to make decisions for me, absolutely not.

In the end, it's all about striking the perfect balance between love and career!

At a young age, we may face a lot of exciting career opportunities, such as starting a business, constantly learning, improving our position in the company, etc. We may indeed be quite busy, but I personally feel that no matter how busy you are, it is not a reason for you to reject a close relationship. In fact, a good intimate relationship can help you get into a better state!

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Abigail Grace Long Abigail Grace Long A total of 2047 people have been helped

Greetings.

For example, when it comes to choosing to be single, which is a choice that requires deep introspection in order to truly feel free and happy, different individuals will engage in different forms of self-reflection and may even make different choices. Conversely, they may subsequently experience regret for their unwise choice.

You are 27 years of age and unmarried. Your parents are exerting pressure on you to enter into matrimony, yet you are uncertain as to how you should proceed.

The proposal of encouraging people to get married is not an unfamiliar concept to individuals in their 20s to 40s. It not only reflects parents' affection for their children but also the apprehension of the older generation about life. They are concerned that their children will "fall behind" and even more so that they will embark on a path that they do not comprehend. Because not understanding evinces apprehension, parents aspire even more that their children can pursue a path that is secure and stable, as they are most familiar with such choices and are also the most secure (in terms of material and emotional needs). However, before children truly ascertain their inner choice, they are not inclined to consistently adhere to their directives, as they did when they were younger. Conversely, they are also apprehensive about embarking on their own independent life path, concerned that they will not receive any assistance.

In consequence, the phenomenon of "urging for marriage" has emerged. The lack of a rapid solution to this problem has resulted in a stalemate with parents, with "marriage" becoming the primary "responsible person" that cannot guarantee happiness in life. Why does one experience pressure and even a sense of being at a loss when "urging for marriage" is mentioned? Is it because parents are excessively controlling, or is it because one's own inner mind is immature? Perhaps urging for marriage has brought about a valuable period of reflection.

1. It is imperative to engage in introspective inquiry to ascertain one's genuine aspirations.

It is understandable that it may be challenging to make a decision quickly at first. However, it is important to recognize that through self-reflection and the establishment of personal values, it is possible to identify the choice that aligns with one's true sense of value and meaning. This can help to restore a sense of calm and rationality, enabling the selection of a decision that is genuinely meaningful in the present moment. It is possible that this decision may differ from the one chosen by one's parents. However, by persevering through this challenge, one can make a conscious choice from a place of authenticity, taking responsibility for their own life and avoiding the tendency to blame others for one's circumstances. While this decision may initially seem easier, it is crucial to recognize that true inner growth and personal development will not occur if one avoids making difficult choices.

2. It is imperative to enhance one's tolerance and muster the courage to pursue a greater number of opportunities.

The process of finding a partner is a significant undertaking that requires considerable effort and energy. The search for a suitable partner necessitates the development of enhanced judgment and perception abilities, as well as the ability to accurately assess complex information and identify potential future compatibility. Given the demanding nature of this endeavor, it is understandable that individuals may experience fatigue during the search for a compatible partner.

It is evident that an individual's outward appearance, or physical attractiveness, can initially attract the attention of others and afford them certain advantages. However, in the context of intimate relationships, it is not sufficient to rely on physical appeal alone. To achieve genuine intimacy, individuals must navigate the four stages of intimacy, which require effort and dedication. Intimacy, therefore, is not a passive process but rather a dynamic and challenging journey. While some may argue that intimacy is a form of "hard work that doesn't pay off," this perspective overlooks the essential role of love and mutuality in nourishing the essence of intimacy. For those who desire an intimate relationship that is genuinely theirs, it is crucial to heed the inner voice that transcends fear and hesitation. It is essential to cultivate the courage to pursue this relationship, aligning actions with one's deepest desires, in order to truly live a life of authentic fulfillment.

3. It is imperative to assume responsibility for one's own actions and to confront challenges directly, rather than avoiding or escaping from painful situations.

Some time ago, I attended a blind date reading group, where I observed a male participant who received considerable attention. I perceived that my chances of success were minimal, and thus, I ceased my efforts. My logical mind counsels me to seek a husband and enter into matrimony. However, in practice, I find the process of identifying a suitable partner to be exhausting. I am currently experiencing difficulties, and I am uncertain about the best course of action.

When presented with an appealing prospect, individuals are typically emboldened to pursue it. However, when forewarned of the potential challenges and responsibilities associated with the pursuit, many may hesitate before embarking on it. This phenomenon is exemplified in psychological literature, which posits that to lead a fulfilling and contented life, individuals must assume responsibility for their own actions. By doing so, they may experience greater autonomy and efficacy, yet few individuals adhere to this principle.

From this explanation, it is evident that the questioner is experiencing hesitation and indecision regarding the pursuit of a romantic partner. On the one hand, they express a desire to engage in this pursuit, yet on the other hand, they indicate a reluctance to do so due to the perceived challenges and inconvenience involved. This reluctance may ultimately limit their own efforts and contributions, potentially preventing them from fully exploring the possibilities that may arise from such a relationship. Consequently, it is challenging to ascertain what their true heart's desire truly is.

I wish you the best of success.

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Comments

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Anika Miller A forgiving attitude is a magnet for positive energy.

I can totally relate to feeling overwhelmed by the pressure from family. It's important to listen to your heart and not rush into something you're not ready for. Everyone has their own timeline, and it's okay to be single and enjoy your own company.

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Huggins Davis Learning is a dialogue that never ends.

The fear of making a wrong choice is valid. Sometimes, it's better to wait for the right person rather than settling because of societal expectations. Trust that the right one will come along when you least expect it.

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Christian Thomas You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don't try.

It sounds like you have high standards, and there's nothing wrong with that. Maybe instead of focusing on finding a partner, try exploring what brings you joy and fulfillment in life. The right person might naturally come into your life as you focus on yourself.

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Keith Miller Learning is a dialogue between the self and the world.

Participating in activities like the blind date reading club shows you're open to meeting new people. Even if it didn't result in a relationship, it can still be enriching to connect with others who share similar interests. Take it one step at a time.

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Jethro Jackson There is no substitute for hard work.

It's understandable to feel lost amidst so many choices. Perhaps setting some personal goals or criteria for what you want in a partner could help narrow down your options and make the process less daunting.

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