You are especially good when you are in love. Can't you be friends after a breakup?

Hello, question asker!

From what you've told me, I get the feeling you're probably still quite young, not yet 20. I totally get why you're feeling confused and frustrated.

I'm not sure why you and he broke up, but I'm sure there was something that made you two incompatible, even if it's not clear what that was. Disagreements and conflicts over certain issues probably led to the breakup.

I must say, I do find it a little strange. After all the conflicts and the breakup, why do you still want to get in touch again and become friends again?

I'm just wondering if this is wishful thinking on your part, or if you both feel the same way?

If you want to remain friends after breaking up, it means that you both have expectations of each other. As you said, when you are in love, you are like soulmates. That feeling really cannot be forgotten just by wishing it away. That feeling may last a lifetime. Isn't there a saying that goes, "If only life were like the beginning"? The feeling of the beginning is really too beautiful, too wonderful.

I thought it might be because we both think about that wonderful feeling, so after a breakup due to differences, we still want to maintain a normal friendship. But the past was so wonderful, and we had to break up due to our differences. Even though we want to maintain a normal friendship, the differences still exist and remain unresolved. So after the breakup, when the parties involved get in touch again, the problem may once again stand between you. It seems that the problem of breaking up cannot be solved in the short term.

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Maybe it's because you can say that the conflict between you is irreconcilable, or perhaps you no longer want to tolerate each other, or maybe it's because you're too familiar with each other in a relationship. Either way, you've both revealed your true nature to each other, and since that's who you are, you can't convince the other. So, how can you still be friends?

I think we should accept this reality, stop having expectations of this relationship, and then reflect on ourselves to see what we want to do in this relationship. It might help to use a pen and paper to write it all down. You should know that free writing is a great way to heal yourself.

If you can write about this period of your life whenever you want, you'll be able to figure out the root of the problem behind the emotion that's bothering you. Once we find the reason, we can solve it in a targeted way.

I really think the fastest, most beneficial, and easiest way for you to do this is to just sit down and write about your experiences.

If your finances allow, you can also find a professional counselor to chat with. They can help you get out of this phase more quickly and scientifically.

I really hope you can get out of this tricky situation soon and start enjoying the beauty of life again. The world and I love you!

Good morning, I'm Yan Shiqi, and I'm grateful for the chance to address your question.

I believe that, in most cases, it is not realistic to expect a couple who have broken up to become friends when their relationship is definitely over. If they do, it may be because one party is willing to accept a less active role in the relationship.

When you are in love, you are deeply in love, and that is a normal relationship and a normal expression.

As two people go from being strangers to becoming more familiar with each other, and as the other person meets their needs and desires in a relationship, they will naturally give their all and want to give the other person the best they can.

This is the initial joy of first meeting, and also the initial meeting in life.

However, as a relationship progresses, it is possible for a person to show another side of themselves, and it just so happens that the other person may not always be comfortable with that personality. Generally, if one person can be tolerant, they will likely be able to last until the end. However, if there are major differences in opinion, it may be challenging to maintain the relationship.

I wonder if I might ask why it is not always possible to remain friends after a breakup?

Given that the feelings and love were real at the beginning, it can be challenging to control the impact of a sudden ending to the relationship.

It would be beneficial to allow time and circumstances to gradually settle things.

If you can still laugh and chat as usual, it might be worth questioning whether this is truly normal. It's possible that the love you felt before was a bit of a sham, because it seems you forgot it so quickly.

In my opinion, it's not worth deleting each other after a breakup or hurling insults at each other.

The original poster may wish to consider deleting it and moving on from it. In time, everyone will move on.

If not, it might be helpful to ask yourself if you still have feelings for the other person.

If you find yourself in a situation where a relationship has come to an end, it is important to remember that you do not have to dwell on the past. The other person is no longer a part of your life, and you must focus on moving forward.

I believe that leaving behind a beautiful memory is beneficial for both parties.

I hope this provides some helpful insight.

Dear Sir/Madam, I have read your statement. You and he were particularly close when you were in love. However, after the breakup, you are unable to engage in even a basic, normal conversation. Instead, you begin to argue, and then delete all contact information. It is evident that, prior to the relationship, you were good friends, or even close friends. Furthermore, when you were in love, you were very much in love. However, after the breakup, it is as though you are enemies. Best regards,

It is challenging for you to accept this reality.

Let us first define the term "friend." A friend is an individual who is aware of one's shortcomings but nevertheless accepts them.

Prior to the formation of the romantic relationship, the individuals in question were either good friends or close friends, and they were able to interact and communicate effectively. However, despite the proximity and intimacy that exists between close friends and close confidants, there is always a certain degree of distance and separation. This distance is not as intimate as that which exists in a romantic relationship, and individuals tend to present their positive attributes and conceal their negative ones. Consequently, when interacting as friends or close confidants, the positive attributes of each other are more readily apparent.

You have been revealed.

The dissolution of a relationship is often precipitated by an inability to accept certain shortcomings of the other person or a lack of ability to meet one's needs. Given the depth of knowledge each partner possesses about the other, it is often challenging to reestablish the same level of intimacy and connection that existed prior to the relationship's end.

It is not possible to ignore the facts. The question thus arises as to how one might go about becoming friends again.

Presently, it is possible that both parties are still experiencing negative emotions following the dissolution of the relationship, including sadness, distress, and anger. This may result in frequent disagreements and even the use of profanity during communication.

In the event of a dispute, it is advisable to refrain from further engagement and allow time for reflection and cooling-off.

It is advised that the individual who posed the question refrain from contacting the other person for a period of time, allowing each party sufficient space to process their emotions and re-evaluate the relationship.

Once both parties have had an opportunity to calm down, it is time to make the decision as to whether to reconcile or to end the relationship permanently.

I will conclude herewith, and it is my hope that I have been of some assistance.

Hello, I'm Strawberry.

I saw your confessions and worries, and I hugged you. I told you that two lovers will become the most familiar strangers after breaking up because they have loved and cherished each other. I also told you that only encountering too many unsolvable problems will lead to a final breakup.

When you were in love, you got along really well. After the breakup, you can't even have a normal chat. You need to figure out why. If you can have a good chat and communicate well, then why did it come to this?

After a breakup, people tend to argue when they chat. This shows that the questioner and her boyfriend still have thoughts about the relationship. You are thinking about whether you have realized your own mistakes since you proposed breaking up and separated. As a result, you are more inclined to rush to express your emotions in interactions after the breakup.

Everyone has their own expectations.

In this relationship, the questioner and their partner had their own expectations of each other. You both wanted the other person to be able to do certain things, but you didn't express your thoughts more. This led to a lack of understanding, which caused many problems to arise.

Problems accumulate one after the other, and neither person finds the right way to solve them. This inevitably affects even the best relationship, which is why, despite having a good relationship, they still face the situation of breaking up in the end.

Take a moment to reflect on yourself in the relationship.

You wanted to chat and share your interesting stories, so why did it end on a bad note? What made both of you suddenly feel so angry?

Let me draw an analogy for you. The questioner was in a good mood and wanted to chat with the other person. After chatting for a while, the other person brought up the previous conflict and even pointed out that it was the questioner's fault. The questioner thought to himself, "If you don't understand me, that's fine, but don't put the blame on me." Or maybe both of you were in an emotional state, and after a few words you disagreed, so you started arguing.

If you can arouse emotions in both parties, it means neither of you can be a good listener. If one person can quietly listen to the other while they vent and offer comfort from time to time, this kind of interaction will help the emotions to fade quickly.

When we are in love, we are affectionate. After a breakup, we are like enemies. The breakup is the end, so don't let the other person affect your emotions.

1. No more contact: To truly let go of a relationship, you must stop contacting the other person and move on. It is impossible for two people who were once the most in love and closest to each other to be friends, unless the love was not deep.

2. Don't dwell on the past. When a relationship ends, it's natural to look back on the good times. However, if you find yourself constantly reminiscing about the old days, it can be difficult to move on. You might find it challenging to accept a new relationship if you're still comparing it to your old one.

3. Recognize your emotions. The thought of ending this relationship will undoubtedly make you feel sad and upset. It's crucial to recognize your emotions and give yourself time to recover. Exercise, sing, paint, go for a walk, swim, take a stroll, or watch funny variety shows—do whatever helps you feel better. Choose the methods you like to relieve yourself and make your life fulfilling.

Rest and eat well when you're feeling down. This will give you the energy and strength to face everything in life. I hope my answer is helpful to the questioner.

Hello, I'm Gu Yi. I'm modest.

How long did it take to get to know someone?

Why did you break up? You were close friends before you fell in love. You were sweet to each other and cherished each other. What caused your relationship to fail?

This is the main reason you can't communicate properly.

When two people first meet, they like each other. They breathe carefully together, because one careless move could startle the other. This makes us pay attention to each other and enjoy life. We will have lots to say to each other because we will listen carefully.

Everything was good, and you got used to it. You became careless. You could still chat, but the relationship became more casual and less reverent. Over time, the surprises and small joys disappeared.

Then you broke up.

Awakening in a relationship.

You're confused and don't understand. It was good at first, but now it's bad. You argue and don't talk. You remember the good times but don't want to stay friends.

It's normal for couples to remain friends after a breakup. You were once so close and shared a lot. But you may not be able to remain friends. You've lost the initial curiosity and awe you felt for each other and the relationship. It's understandable that you cannot continue.

To do this, we need to identify the problems in our past relationship. What caused us to end up unable to be friends? Was it because we tried too hard to maintain the relationship, or were we too casual when letting go?

We have to accept our mistakes. Let the past be the past, focus on the present, and make the most of it.

Best wishes!

Hello, question owner.

This is the hatred born of love! Our emotions are multi-dimensional and bipolar. The greater the intensity of one emotion, the greater the intensity of the opposite emotion in response to a stimulus.

From what you've said, it's clear that you were very close when you were in a relationship and that you were still close friends before you fell in love. However, after the relationship ended, you found it difficult to maintain your friendship.

The closer the relationship, the harder it is to break up. When it really comes to breaking up, it must have touched the most sensitive and intolerable point deep in each other's heart. This "point" is likely the foundation of all your feelings for each other. It is this "foundation" that allows you to assume that the other person's characteristics can coexist harmoniously with this "point." This psychological foundation allows you to develop the relationship and gradually trust each other. However, when one day you find that the other person is difficult to get along with or is in opposition to your most important "point" in your heart, it generates a strong sense of being cheated. All the emotional investment before has become the nutrient for the sense of "cheating or betrayal." The psychological frustration caused by this has triggered a strong motivation to violate. In order to alleviate the turbulent emotions in your heart,

This is why the questioner has difficulty being friends after breaking up!

The other person is clearly in the dominant position in terms of discomfort, and the questioner is responding passively or defending themselves due to the other person's aggressive words.

If you want to keep the friendship, you need to find out what the other person is really struggling with and bring it up for discussion. This will help you understand each other better and resolve any misunderstandings.

Best wishes!

I hope to provide some comfort and guidance in navigating your doubts and conflicts. I am Jia Jia.

Some people believe that when a relationship comes to an end, the two people involved often find it difficult to become friends again. This may be because they were both deeply committed to each other during the time they were in love, and the breakup was either forced or caused by one of the people doing something that was very extreme.

I believe there is some truth in this statement.

Secondly, it is not uncommon for couples who have had relatively uneventful relationships and who were both very rational in their decision to break up to still run into each other after the fact due to work or life circumstances. It is therefore perfectly normal for a general friendship to be maintained between the two parties, with the nature of this friendship varying from person to person.

Third, I'm not quite sure what you mean by "cursing and arguing." I would gently suggest that there should be a sense of ritual in breaking up. Since the two of you have loved each other and now separated, it might be helpful to make a qualitative change and end the relationship. It might be beneficial to turn the page on everything that happened before and not dwell on it. Even if you get in touch again later, it should be a fresh start, not an exchange of insults and conflicts.

I believe this is a positive step forward. It seems that your feelings are still tied to him, which is understandable. You might consider either communicating to see if there's a chance of repairing the relationship or creating a ritual to move on.

I hope that by analyzing each situation individually, you will find some helpful insights. I look forward to staying in touch with you.

Yixinli Answering Questions Hall is a community of mutual help and support. We're here to help you and we're grateful for your support too. You can find us at https://m.xinli001.com/qa.

You were close, best friends. After the breakup, you can't even be friends. It's like you're enemies.

This is probably true for most lovers after a breakup.

The reason for the breakup is irreconcilable conflicts.

The distance between friends and lovers is different. Two people can be friends, but not lovers.

When you get to know each other better, you can't accept it.

After you broke up, you couldn't even have a normal chat. This shows that the hurt is still very deep. Meeting up will just bring you back to those conflicted emotions. It's impossible to just forget about them because you broke up.

After you broke up, you couldn't even have a normal chat. This shows that the hurt is still very deep. No matter who broke up with whom, the conflict cannot disappear overnight.

Maybe after many years, you can chat again. But for now, you are doomed to never return to the level of understanding and impression of each other that you had when you were friends.

Second, breaking up means denying each other, which causes resistance and rejection.

One person starts the breakup and the other accepts it. The person who accepts it feels rejected and hurt.

"Why did you break up with me?"

Even if two people break up peacefully, one will always bring it up. Both will agree that the other person is not good enough.

It's hard to be friends again without resentment after being rejected and abandoned.

If so, they probably don't want to let go.

If they're still around, they probably want to get back together.

A "good ex-partner is like someone who has died." This is true. For those who don't want to accept a breakup, the disappeared ex-partner helps them move on.

A good ex-partner should be treated as if they were dead. For someone who doesn't want to accept a breakup, the disappearance of the ex-partner can help them move on.

If you have deep conflicts, this is a good chance to calm down and think about yourself.

If you want to reconcile, it's also a good idea to take a break. This gives you time to reflect on the problems in the relationship.

If you want to reconcile after breaking up, it's also a good idea to give each other space to reflect.

As a communicator, you have the power to be a beacon of light for others, whether you're asking questions or answering them. By using words wisely, you can illuminate the hearts of more people, and this is our shared energy.

Good day, my name is Xin Tan and I am Coach Fei Yun. I empathize with your situation. If you have feelings for each other, work to maintain a positive relationship. If you are not in a relationship, communicate clearly and amicably.

However, it seems that in your relationship, you were very happy when you were in love, but after the breakup, you are unable to engage in a normal conversation, and your reactions have been extreme. You are perplexed by this turn of events and question whether you were ever truly in love.

?1. The book "Becoming a Better You After a Breakup" will provide valuable insights and guidance to assist in personal growth and development.

The termination of a relationship can be a challenging and emotional experience. However, it presents an opportunity for personal growth and insight into one's patterns of interaction with the opposite sex. This experience can serve as a valuable learning and growth opportunity.

The encouraging message is that love and hate are both strong emotions. It is precisely because you have loved each other and have high expectations of each other that, when those expectations are not met, there will be disappointment. It is therefore to be expected that there will be more complaints, criticisms and accusations.

As the individuals with the most familiarity with one another, you are aware of each other's strengths and weaknesses. Consequently, you are accustomed to the manner in which you interact. When you make a statement, he responds in a manner consistent with his behavior during the dating period.

It is important to consider why a normal conversation can devolve into an argument. It may be helpful to reflect on the reasons for the breakup and whether any outstanding issues have been resolved.

2. Chinese thinking and concepts impede our ability to be candid and maintain the "friends after breaking up" dynamic.

It is not uncommon to see couples who have divorced still interact amicably, not just because of their children. Even if the couple's relationship has ended, the parent-child bond remains intact. There are numerous examples of ex-spouses who have maintained cordial relations, even becoming close relatives.

In China, our values regarding marriage and relationships make it challenging to maintain friendship after a breakup. There is often a tendency to engage in worldly thinking, which can be coupled with practical issues, making it difficult to navigate these situations calmly.

I would like to make the following suggestion:

1. Learn from the experience and avoid repeating the same mistakes in the future.

2. Rather than tolerating each other's shortcomings, it would be preferable to preserve the positive aspects of the relationship, terminate it, and refrain from any further contact.

I hope these suggestions are helpful to you. Best regards,

If you wish to continue the dialogue, please click on the "Find a Coach" link, which can be found in the top right-hand corner or at the bottom of the page. I will then be in touch to discuss your requirements in more detail.

Hello, dear question asker!

I'd love to share my thoughts on your question!

I always think that when a couple breaks up, there must be something they couldn't quite resolve or find the essence of and solve. If you can't solve the problem, then there's no point in getting back together, but I'm sure you'll be able to work it out!

I totally get where you're coming from. I think it's really hard to know whether it's the right time to get back together when problems will still arise and you might still break up. I don't think it's scientific for the questioner to say that they want to get back together.

It's tough to say what the problem is between you two, so it's hard to know what to do to get back together.

I really do think you can still be friends after a breakup!

It's not always easy to stay friends after a breakup.

For example, if one person cheats and then changes their mind, it's generally considered okay not to hold a grudge.

For example, if one party slanders the ex after the breakup, can this kind of person still be friends? I know it's tough, but it's possible!

For instance, if the two of you have a big fight and make a scene, it might be hard to be friends right away. But as you get older and reflect on it, there's still a chance you can be friends again.

There are a few things you can do to make sure you can stay friends after a breakup. First, you both need to feel like you can be friends with each other without any feelings or reluctance. This means that you've both accepted that you can't be lovers anymore.

Second, neither of you has made any major mistakes in the relationship. That means no cheating or infidelity! Third, you can still appreciate each other as friends, and your appreciation isn't related to romantic feelings.

It's clear that the questioner doesn't even meet the first prerequisite, so it might be best to not be friends.

So, what should you do in the situation described by the questioner? Well, first of all, the questioner needs to give themselves a little pep talk and remind themselves not to contact their ex.

It's time to accept that the relationship is over and move on. When you're ready, you can start to rebuild a friendship with your ex.

This is better for both of you. However, it's important to understand that even if you become friends in the future, you may only be able to contact each other occasionally and have dinner together. This kind of friendship is not the kind where you can talk about your innermost feelings.

After all, you are not only friends, but also exes. It's important to remember that getting too close can easily lead to misunderstandings with each other's current partners. It's probably best not to confide in each other when you are having problems with your current partner.

As friends, it's still important to know how to keep your distance.

Hello!

Host:

I'm Zeng Chen, a heart exploration coach. I've read your post and I can see you're confused.

The poster has courageously expressed his confusion and is seeking help. This will help him understand and recognize himself and the other person, so he can make adjustments to feel more comfortable.

Next, I will share my thoughts, which may help the original poster see things differently.

Can we still be friends after a breakup?

Can you still be friends after a breakup? There's no easy answer.

It depends on the two people. Let's look at why it's hard to be friends after a breakup.

The reason they can't be friends is because they loved each other deeply.

"After a breakup, you can't cut ties because you once loved each other."

It's hard for you two to get along after a breakup. I don't know why you broke up, but it's often worse when people were close. What if you become friends and talk to each other?

You may feel exhausted and want to forget the pain.

It hurts so much you want to run away.

Some people are angry after a breakup and don't want to let go. If they don't express their emotions, they'll just keep feeling angry.

Communication often breaks down at this time, making it difficult to remain friends after a breakup.

Some people can stay friends after a breakup because they broke up peacefully and have a mature emotional system.

Relationships are a two-person thing. We need to realize this.

2. Focus on yourself.

People often say they want to be friends after a breakup, but they're afraid it won't work out.

You're not ready to lose him. Focus on yourself.

Why do you want to stay friends after breaking up?

Why did your relationship end?

I don't know why you broke up, but relationships are a two-person thing. We need to look at our part.

Use this relationship to grow yourself. Further contact would be harmful to both parties.

Freeze the relationship, focus on yourself, and grow.

I don't know how the relationship will end. But life is about meeting and parting. Some people are here to teach us something.

I hope these words help and inspire you.

I'm not sure what the original intention of the questioner was in asking this question. Was it simply out of curiosity, or was it because they were unwilling to accept the situation and felt that the lovers had become enemies? In my opinion, there is no simple answer to whether or not you can remain friends after a breakup. It depends on the circumstances and the reasons for the breakup.

If it is true that the two parties no longer love each other, there are no external factors involved, and both parties want to end the relationship, it is possible that they will be able to move on from it with less resentment or hatred than they might otherwise feel. They may be able to let go of the relationship and start a new life together.

In such cases, it is possible for both parties to remain on amicable terms after the dissolution of the relationship. However, if one party unilaterally initiates the end of the relationship, and the other party is not inclined to accept it,

It is not uncommon for a breakup to be accompanied by feelings of pain and guilt. In cases where a friendly atmosphere did not exist, it is understandable that it may be challenging to maintain a friendship after the breakup. It is also possible that the person who was broken up with may have negative feelings towards the person who proposed the breakup, for various reasons. It is therefore possible that the original poster's experience may reflect this: that after the breakup, there may be frequent disagreements and a strained relationship.

In my opinion, it is important to respect the wishes of both parties when considering whether or not to become friends after a breakup. It is only when both parties are able to put aside their past grievances and embrace a different role, as well as being willing to start their future lives in a different role, that it becomes possible to become friends after a breakup. Otherwise, even if one party truly desires to be friends and the other party does not, it may prove challenging to maintain the friendship. After all, relationships are mutual, and it is not possible to clap with one hand.

If you have broken up, you may have to accept the reality that the person who was once close to you is no longer related to you. It is possible that you may be able to be friends or get along in other roles, in addition to respecting the other person's wishes. However, if you really can't face each other after the breakup, it is important to respect each other's wishes.

It is also acceptable to go your separate ways and live your own lives. There are plenty of other people out there for you to meet. I truly hope that the original poster can move on from their doubts about the breakup and start a new, exciting chapter in their life. Who knows, they might even meet someone new along the way.