You have a strong desire to express yourself, and you often reflect on it, but there is no improvement the next time?

Hello! Thanks so much for meeting with me today.

I am a lively and cheerful person who talks a lot. Is this a general description of yourself? Absolutely!

First of all, an open personality and a wealth of words are all advantages of our own. Here, I don't feel that this is a bad thing, or that there is anything uncomfortable about it! At the same time, I see a vivid and three-dimensional image of the character unfold in my mind, and it's absolutely amazing!

I'm excited to tell you that a cheerful personality, active thinking, and a wealth of words are also a manifestation of keen perception, quick response, and high intelligence!

From your description, I can tell you're ready to embrace this side of yourself and make it your own! So the final point of your question today is also about finding a way to change! Let's dive in and explore some effective methods to address this problem!

I'd love to know how to improve the behavior of wanting to say something as soon as I have something to say!

Answer:

First, when we want to say something, we think that our behavior needs to be changed, so we may have a state of conflict and contradictory reactions! But there's a way to make this work for you! They talk about the first method, which is to not let yourself be so conflicted!

Embrace your unique self, express your appreciation for this behavior, and accept it for what it is. This is a wonderful state to be in, and it's something many introverted or inarticulate people strive for.

Second, if we want to change our behavior, we can do it! We just need to train ourselves. This means we need to think about what we want to achieve and then take action.

And the best part is, each time you need to have a reflection or summary, and gradually train this model! This kind of thing needs a process, so take your time. It may be a slow process of change, in which you occasionally take a step back and sometimes leap forward!

This is the norm! Once you are ready, just get started! You can do it!

Thank you for your insightful question. From your words, I can tell that you are a sincere and enthusiastic person. However, it seems that you may also experience feelings of inferiority from time to time. I invite you to touch your head, as seeing is often the first step towards change. Let's explore your inner world together through the phenomena you see.

[Over-expression of love stems from the need to be seen]

The purpose of expression is generally to communicate, with the expectation that the other person will understand what is meant. However, according to the account provided by the questioner, their expression of love is actually to be fully seen by others. I am unaware of the questioner's zodiac sign, but it is typical of Scorpios to desire to express themselves without restraint. In essence, as long as I am not embarrassed, the onus is on the embarrassed party to bear the burden.

Attention is a fundamental psychological need. You enjoy engaging in conversation and have developed the ability to attract attention. However, if you are not the focus of the discussion, you become restless and take immediate action, such as picking up the phone or starting a conversation. It is important to recognize that you may experience discomfort when you are not the center of attention during conversations.

It is essential to recite the following affirmations on a regular basis to replace your original false beliefs.

Affirmative sentence: I accept myself and my abilities, and I feel good even if I am not the focus of attention or if I do not receive attention.

Due to an inferiority complex, you may become arrogant. The fear of not being seen is a significant concern, and there are instances where you may feel compelled to speak up or show off in order to avoid being overlooked.

From an external perspective, you appear to be cheerful and confident. However, internally, you may feel insecure and weak, which leads you to depend on others for reassurance. You may feel unable to control your own life and seek external validation through your self-deprecating humor. Consequently, when you attempt to be witty, you may inadvertently say the wrong thing and negatively impact your own perception.

This is your life's task. It is essential to replace your inferiority complex with total self-esteem, assertiveness, the ability to defend yourself, the capacity to set boundaries, the ability to stop seeking external approval, and the ability to have complete confidence in the future.

[Demonstrate self-control]

As an alternative to prolonged discussion, you may wish to consider developing an interest in reading in silence. Those born under the water sign are known for their fluidity, and it may be beneficial to cultivate a more stable earth element to balance this quality. Stillness can facilitate the generation of wisdom. Wisdom is knowing when to speak and when to refrain from doing so. Once this wisdom is achieved, you may find that your inclination to talk is no longer a source of concern.

I am a highly skilled listener, Zhang Huili. I hope my response is of value to you. If you find it useful, please click the "Like" button and leave a comment.

Good day. I empathize with your confusion. I can see that you are highly active when chatting with others and enjoy sharing stories with your roommates that are similar to theirs. This also demonstrates your active engagement in interactions with your roommates. However, why do you feel reluctant to be so active in conversations? Why do you perceive yourself as talking too much, and why do you feel like you are the center of attention?

You may wish to consider these two questions. There are occasions when it is more beneficial to explore a topic independently and ascertain the answer directly, rather than relying on the input of another individual.

From a psychoanalytic perspective, the current stage of self-development may be oral, driven by a desire to fulfill certain needs through verbal expression. In this context, sharing stories with roommates in a dormitory setting could be an attempt to receive attention and connection. As long as this does not negatively impact others, there is no inherent problem with expressing oneself freely. However, I remain curious about the underlying reasons behind my inclination to talk excessively.

I will refrain from providing a more detailed explanation, but it can be said that talking too much subconsciously releases too much aggression, and the objective is to stop oneself from doing so, which can be achieved by speaking up.

The "Say what's on your mind" feature has the potential to be a valuable asset in your professional development. You can use it to create videos about stories you want to share with others or your own ideas. This feature can not only fulfill your desire to express yourself freely but also serve as a foundation for your future career.

That concludes my remarks. I hope this information is helpful to you. Best regards,

Hello!

Hi, I'm Kelly Shui, a heart exploration coach.

I've read your question very carefully, and I'm so happy you've asked it! Let's talk about it together.

[Too strong a desire to express oneself]

We all have a basic human desire to express ourselves.

I think you're a very prominent personality!

It's a great sign of vitality!

I'd love to share my personal understanding of the desire to express.

1. Strong language skills

It's a great way to get your thoughts in order and express yourself!

It's so great that both verbal and written output can effectively integrate the knowledge we already have!

This is also what people often say: input is important, and output is what allows us to understand what knowledge we have mastered.

And this is the basic principle behind Feynman's law, which I'm sure you'll find really interesting!

Through expression, you can connect the dots between all the bits of knowledge you already have in your mind and make sense of some of the things you don't know yet.

I think this is probably why so many outstanding people like to express themselves and deliberately train themselves to do so.

2: Energetic and outgoing

The questioner said that when chatting with others in the dormitory, someone shares a story, and you can always think of things that have happened to you or that you have seen. It's so much fun to share these things with others!

That's okay! You give people something to think about.

If no one in the dormitory speaks, it can feel a little quiet.

This is totally fine, don't worry!

The questioner is also a bit distracted, but they've never been one to interrupt other people's stories. They have great interpersonal skills, too!

So don't worry, just be yourself!

3: I often find myself playing the "leading role," but deep down I don't want to always let myself say so much.

The questioner here is a bit conflicted and torn. It's totally normal to want to be the protagonist and be noticed by everyone! In the past, there may have been times when they were not allowed to express themselves, and when they get the chance to express themselves, they will naturally do so.

And don't forget to let yourself be the star of the show! You've got this, and you'll find your talent in this area.

1: You can totally satisfy your desire to speak by pursuing a career that allows you to speak, such as a teacher or lawyer!

2: You should definitely go to some lectures!

3: You can write more, submit articles, and express all of your wonderful ideas!

How can I learn to control my urge to speak whenever I have something to say?

1: You just need to overcome this needless expression.

2: Show others respect and kindness, and share more if they want to hear more.

If the other person isn't interested, it's best to just move on.

3: Try to make sure you're not saying anything silly, and that what you say is interesting and makes people think.

4: Try to avoid one-sided interests, and think more about yourself. It's okay if these words aren't interesting to everyone. You can interact more with others and have collisions!

[Correct understanding of the desire to express oneself]

It's totally normal for teenagers to want to express themselves more during this time. It's also a great chance for them to share some information about themselves with the world!

It's also a time when we're eager to find ways to set ourselves apart from others.

Show your friends and family how special you are by sharing your unique personality with them!

It's so important to be yourself! Show the world who you are and what makes you special.

This is also a very important ability. For example, as we get older, many people become more and more quiet and prefer to be alone.

It's true that when someone loses the desire to express themselves, it can seem like they've matured. But it can also mean that they've lost some passion.

I love expressing myself too!

For me personally, it's like opening a door to my own life.

We also love sharing bits and pieces of our lives with friends, keeping up with our friends, and reading books, too!

If we don't hide our desire to share and our ability to empathize, we'll make lots of friends! And as the questioner says, we'll have great relationships with others.

For society, individuals form the masses, and the masses become society. If everyone is silent and lacks the desire to express themselves, there will be minimal heart-to-heart communication, which would be a real shame!

I wonder if society might eventually become a cold machine if we don't share our feelings and thoughts with each other.

I'd like to share an article I came across on Zhihu that I found really interesting.

"What happens to us if we don't get to express ourselves after we grow up?"

Let's take Van Gogh as an example. In the lovely movie "Loving Vincent," he sadly took his own life.

Why did he take his own life? It's a sad story. The essence is that the spiritual world he painted transcended the demands of the art market. In other words, he painted so much that no one understood him in that era. So, in his later years, he was destitute trying to make a living as a painter. Coupled with his deep love for his daughter, he was bound by morality. This led to excessive repression. He had no one to tell his pain to, and felt anxious and restless, which led to his suicide.

His death was tragic, but the good news is that people with sound mental health and personal integrity don't often find themselves in that situation.

It's so important to find a way to express your feelings. When you're feeling overwhelmed, it can help to talk about your experiences with others. We're all here for you, so please don't hesitate to share your thoughts and feelings.

We'd love for you to join us in our many communities and chat rooms on Yixinli!

We'd love to hear your stories and share your happiness!

And finally, I just want to wish you all the very best!

I love you, world!

There's nothing wrong with talking a lot. You don't interrupt others when they're sharing, but you can tell similar stories after they've shared. I think the listener will also feel like you're listening to them attentively and giving feedback. They won't feel like you're talking too much and have a bad feeling. When you also feel like the relationship is good, it shows that being talkative and cheerful is an advantage to you and those around you.

Of course, there are pros and cons to everything. If you talk too much, you might end up taking over the role of the other person, which could have negative consequences in the long run. I'm also a bit of a chatterbox, but as a counselor, I have a confidentiality agreement, so it's not a matter of whether or not I should correct it, but whether I can.

The solution to talking less is simple and won't affect your desire to share and express yourself. It's been tested and proven effective.

The first step is to listen, and you do this really well. You don't interrupt others, you listen to what they say and the emotions they express, and you respond, for example with nods, smiles, and questions that show you understand what they're saying. Based on listening, we add a step.

Take a moment to consider what the other person is trying to express. It's important to understand that their needs may differ depending on whether they want to complain, share, express themselves, etc.

Think about what kind of feedback the other person wants to get. Is it about venting together? Is it better to enjoy a pleasure alone than with others? Or is it about collecting answers to questions through brainstorming?

At the end of the day, you've got to make your expression. In the process of thinking, you already know what to say and what not to say, reducing the part you shouldn't say. And with a thoughtful expression, there's a good chance you won't regret what you said, and at least you can sleep well at night without remorse about what you said.

Expressing yourself is also a way to satisfy your desire to share your thoughts and ideas.

What about the desire to share? One way to do that is to start a conversation with yourself. Just say whatever you want. What about the things you left out of your thinking and didn't say, or at least couldn't say to the other person? One way to get it out is to talk to someone else. The other way is to just talk to yourself.

Apart from closing the door, there's another important thing to remember for those of us who love to talk: "Out of the mouth of babes come forth wiser words." It doesn't matter who the protagonist is or how enthusiastic the conversation is. We should remember not to speak ill of others behind their backs. As Mr. He Jiong once said, "We should speak words of praise without thinking, but we should think twice before speaking words of slander."

I hope you have a lot to smile about and get to share your passions with the people you love every day.